Usually, the places that sell gas for airplanes will sell things like coffee cups and T-shirts. I think I will get her a shirt.
As for the card, I will get her a "get well soon" type of thing.

The card could be somewhat more personal that I think.

Get well and thinking of you from a "very close friend" type thing.

Don't need to get totally impersonal IMO.

She likes Cats?


Something with cats would be nice maybe.

The cats and I are sorry to see you so upset etc.
Sign their names. Put on their paw prints. They signed it too.

Maybe?

Agreed.
I like the paw print idea. She would sign her cards to me that way in the past.

We had our coffee on the balcony this morning. The OM came out and got into his car to drive away to whereever. When she heard his car start, she got a very pained look on her face. This, I think, confirms he broke it off last night.
She has been in a down mood this morning. Not talking very much, but not looking angry...at least not yet.
Anyway, time to go to the store.

Good, You know what to do.

just be prepared for anything at this point and remain the calm in the storm.

Have good day and will talk with you later.

You are now wearing your thinking cap properly and making some great decisions. Biggest thing now is to remain completely patient. We men like to "fix" stuff and move on, but these matters of the heart take Waaay longer to fix.

Keep your Taker in check, and your Giver at full throttle. Just don't hover around and pressure her, just by your presence. Allow her some quite time with some "space" to simmer in her own stew. Waywards have a lot of issues they need to work out for themselves, and in that regard she's way behind you. Her thoughts have been along a completely different place than yours and she will need to play some catch-up. Coming to terms with the loss of an illicit lover carries a lot of baggage, especially for a woman.

Pace yourself...it's still a marathon, not a sprint. Find a comfortable rhythm for your day to day life, and execute at at that speed like you are in cruise control.

These next few days will be all over the place, so be prepared.

SD

I am making sure to be out of her way. Right now I am at an airport wating for my passengers to arrive.

She was gone when I went back to the store, she told me she had errands to run (pick up cat food, etc..).
She noticed my colgne this morning and said I looked nice.
I get home about 8pm tonight. I am debating on whether I should go work out or not. Depends on what kind of mood she is in.

I bought her a card with a cute kitten on it and said that Me and kitties hope she feels better soon. I left it where she could find it.

We did share a laughing moment this morning. She was telling me about her night last night and how miserable she felt because of her cold. At one point she was taking an order when she sneezed and all sorts of snot went flying out.
We both laughed pretty hard over that. It was a nice moment.

Anyway, gotta go. The passengers are here.

Funny you pick Dogfood as your name and you have cats. LOL

Keep up the good work. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Don't fotget to get that apt with Steve H.

Dogfood,

I'd just like to point some things out here to put things into perspective. You have known about your WW's affair for two weeks now. It seems like you may have finally gotten the OM to back off. You were afraid of your WW's reactions, but to this date, most of what she has done has been all fluff. She hasn't filed for divorce. She hasn't gotten her own place. She hasn't acted any worse then before you started all this exposing and attacking of the affair. Most of the time the WW will just threaten you to get you to back off, especially if the A is in its early stages. Continue to enforce your boundaries and make the A and leaving you difficult as possible, and your story may just have a happy ending. I can tell you that you are in a much better place then when you came here just under two weeks ago. Keep up the good work. Don't overreact to anything she does. That's what she wants. Slow and steady wins the race.

Well, tonight she went off on me. Told me I was to blame for all her problems, stop talking to the OM and his family, her family thinks I am a Psycho and so does my WW, told me to get out and if I don't, she will call the police and have me thrown out (remember, her name is the only name on the lease), told me whatever ounce of respect and trust is now gone, that she hates me, regrets ever meeting me and that her life would have been better without me (I did some reverse babble on this one, and she went on a different course), doesn't believe that I actually flew today and that I was spying on her or have hired someone to spy on her and tap her cell phones. It went on and on for a good hour. Whew. I kept calm, didn't love bust, tried some reverse babble, but don't think I am very good at it yet.

She said to stop trying to save a marriage that never was.
She said she wants the divorce and I said So do I (trying the reverse babble thing, don't think it worked). She said said "good" and went on to something else.

Said I am the reason her credit got screwed up and she can't rent an apartment. She said she is going to be moving out soon and that she might have to take the cats to the shelter (which will put them down). I pointed that out and she said "Don't try to guilt me!!!"

I know most of it is all fluff...hopefully it will remain that way.

Did you say "So do I"

Do you? Really?

I thought you were going to stay and fight for the M.

This was all totally to be expected and you knew that or so I thought.

You know this will get better in a day or two if you just wait it out.

Where is she going to move?

Can she really throw you out as you are Married whether her name or your is on the contract I think it is implied as a married couple.

Did You read Jim's post about slow and steady wins the race....

Reverse Babble might in this case be something like "I'm sorry you feel that way"

Remember you are trying to be supportive in her anger and not responding negatively.

Now just stay steady and calm and wait she will calm down after the big Blow out. It will come out again jsut continue to be supportive and the calm in the storm.

All of the above total Fog babble. She will say things athat are intended to get your goat, make you respond negatively, so that she cand then justify in her mind that everything she has done is right because you are a terrible H. Do not respond negatively to anything. Remember the Fish Head. You must reamin detached from the storm. If you respond do so in a sympathetic manner. I'm sorry you fell that way, I am doing what I need to to save my M because I love you..

Yup, I know, Like I said, I tried some of the reverse babble and I think it backfired a little. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> But, I did remain calm and collect and didn't get upset. I remembered the fish head and almost laughed, but caught myself.

Well, she is going to sleep and didn't call the police or anything to try and throw me out. She actually said goodnight, which surprised me, and was listening to her music regarding lost love, etc...

One thing, she has noticed that I have been being nice to her. She asked "And just why are you being so nice to me lately? It doesn't make sense?" I said "there is no reason to be nice to you other than you deserve it".

She then said "It won't work!!!"

Oh, and this was interesting to me. More Fog Babble, I know, but she said the OM has more respect for me than she does. Ouch. But, to be expected.

Oh, and one more thing. She said "If you contact the OM again, it's your funeral!" Whoa. I asked what she meant by that and she said "Nothing!".

I didn't respond other than saying, "interesting". She got upset over that.

Your response here IMO also could be "I'll do what ever I have to to save our M."

Yea, that was all I could think of at the moment. That one caught me off gaurd.

One thing that worries me, is I think she has convinced her mother that I am going nuts or something. When I walked in the door after getting back from my flight, I heard her go "Thanks Mom", so I wonder if her mother is going to give financial support afterall. This worries me as this could accelerate my WS departure date.

It's amazing the stuff they spew out when they are like this. Just let it roll off. Continue to be supportive and show that you are going to be there for her no matter what she says.

Oh BTW OM has zero respect for you but is learning. Her respect will start to return when the fog begins to lift.


Just had a thought. Maybe you could ask her to go with you on your 3 day trip the end of the month. Not now, but in a day or two.