Continue in Plan A. I'm sure she will be back. Fantasyland isn't going to be all that she's thinking.

Check your email

well it is pretty amazing i felt a tad anxiety for a few miutes but right now i fell an eary calm... this is better then the unknown... does that make sense...

ok now what is the plan for phase...

Ken, sorry I missed some posts. I'm checking in on you. It hurts right now, I know from experience.

The things you DO NOT want to do are:
Be clingy, needy, call her over and over, beg, plead, etc right now. It's natural to do that, I did it before I became educated.

You are at peace with it. Become at peace with it. Don't fear or worry what you have no control of.

I just learned that my wife, whom I have known as my soulmate for 17 years, slept with another man just this Friday night. I saw the truck parked outside his apartment. I saw the lights off in their room and wondered. That was painful, but now I have a strange peace about that compared to other things.

I miss her smile, her LOVE, everything.

My message here is that you CAN gain some inner strength and peace. My biggest regret is not focusing on my own inner strength earlier.

Work on yourself for YOU, and know that it will not go unnoticed by HER. But don't worry about whether it does or not. Start now, today. Get into the gym, go to church, follow the Plan A principles and trust them.

Think of the man YOU want to be. Now, tell yourself that it's never too late to become the person you always wanted to be. Say it everyday. This is your plan right now.

Oh! You missed her call. It's all good. Call her back on your time, you are getting a life at the moment. Like she is.

Remember: What are her strengths? One of them is that she has a life, and I bet you feel like you don't have one right now. Maybe it's because of the stress from this, and it's stopped your world. Get one now.

If my wife calls now (which she hasn't done this week due to exposure 2 days ago), I don't answer. Am I doing somethign at the moment? No. But I want her to think so.

She is no better than you. You are no better than her. Right now she thinks she is the stronger of the two of you. You are looked down upon. All of us feel that way at one point or another in this. The Wayward flaunts the power, and they know they have it. That's another one of her strengths.

Make that strength your own. Prove her wrong in your actions.

I am the lighthouse that will welcome you back, not drag you back. You can see it faintly through the fog still, but you are not drawn. Make that light brighter by improving yourself and throw gentle, loving reminders that will fulfill the ENs you can when you can without appearing weak.

That's my advice for today.

Learn from the mistakes I made, don't repeat them.

Strength
Confidence
Act Happy until you become Happy and at peace with the situation.

Then you will have control of the situation, and you will have the power. You will offer a life together, and then you can relinquish that power because you want to share it with her.

It's never too late!

Jay

well i am actually feeling relieved, now she has done about all she can do... do need a kitchen table... other then that i feel very releived that it is done and i don't have to wonder when any more...

i did call to see if she was comming home. after she said no and that she was safe... i let he know I was going to cut off her cell phone... here GF is a blabber mouth and i wasn't paying so they could chat...

Well i just got an email on my office account that said she will see me at MC thursday love ..... and to use eail until she can get a cell phone plan... maybe ill answer it tommrow afternoon...

Oh she did take our engagement phote alson with the other framed photos... Go figure...

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Tonight??? 5:30 ???

works for me...
Could use some support... Hey drop on out think she left the coronas...

Have a bit more nawing to the stomach today...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Can do I will depart the ofice at 4pm from, sussex... should be home by 5:15 will air the dogs and head into sturtevant

got it

on the way

well today is a tad rougher... lonley... spent 1 1/2 hours cleaning and reclaiming my house... but right now i just fell lonley...

Jim

It is quite normal to feel lonely. So don't fight it, just wallow in it a bit. Good on you that you did some cleaning and reclaiming.

I was very lonely at first, but then go used to the solitude. Plus I made a big effort to go out with friends, workmates, neighbors, etc.

yes and it stinks.. to put it midly... is this the withdrawl she is feeling, if so i can understand her alittle... Met with another member form this Board tonight that helped but generally i am just in a down mood... I just hope tommrow whe go to MC she dosn't tell me to Kiss off...


.

Better today.
IC went good... Tracked down and spoke to exW from 10 years ago, she finally told me why she left, damn near killed me... she Heard I wanted another gal to come over and join us... I said i am far to jelious to share, i have no reason to lie after 10 tears that was never going to happen... ExW
Said I though i mentioned it to you... I said I think i would have remembered that conversation! In any case things in that marrage how it ended what i saw, finally make some sense and I finally got closure. Woo Who one point for me!

Then talked to IC about current stich with ww wife... I don't know, don't understand, trying to figure it all out... mind mumbing... we discussed talking with my dr about a med change to something the does more against the anxiety will be speaking to him about it monday...

WW came in for the MC shortly after this and was on time... she is very angry spent most the time bashing me, thankfully counsler was redirecting and making some explanations about how "men work" (counsler is a GAl)... maybe she heard something...

she is not going out this on our anaversary this weekend... is "busy" moving into her appt and getting settled... has a new phone will text me the number... but I am to wait for her to call.. if she wants to go out she need to set it up to start... Her boundries... what a steaming pant load...

counsler asked me how i felt I said well she has first offer of refusal, but if she isn't available i woll not be sitting home talking to the dogs and feeling sorry for myself. I will be living in the now and trying to enjoy life.. So tonight I take the stetson down from it box, dust off the boots sprice up the shirt, tommrow i hit the barber and get a hair cut and see if he can give em a flat top again... Then I am off to the honkey tonk to have a beer listen to some music and have some fun...

begining to wonder if plan D isn;'t the best route... growing weary of thaking the abuse... Is it worth staying the course?

what is the time frame i should give WW to come out of the fog. Is there a time frame most come back if they are comming back?

She has pretty much said don't call me i'll call you.... I don't see much upsude at the moment

feeling blue today, i ahve this gnawing in my stomach that she isn't going to be comming back...

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