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Morning all.
Bk at the hospital after. Couple hrs sleep.
We are waiting now for the organ donations to be lined up. When they are, they will take him in to surgery to harvest his organs and his body will then be finished with this life
My baby boy is with God now. I miss him so already! It was too soon.
I am alone here right now, which is good. His mom(my sister) needs rest right now. She is my biggest concern. While I have lost my baby boy nephew, she has lost her son
I can not imagine the depth of her pain
I called WH at 1:45 sun am asking him to come watch the kids when I first got the call about the accident
When he did not call back, I called FIL who came right over
WH did not call until 8:30 sun am. No message. He did not call back
I finally called him at 2 in the afternoon. He was a jerk. No sympathy, no sorry for your loss, he did not even have the kids!
He called later and was a bit better, but again, so cold.
He said he called "as soon as he got my message"
I replied "well I am just glad it was not about your dad or the kids!"
Made him mad but it is the TRUTH! He replied "if that makes u feel better Bugs, fine"
Bugs-"WH, NOTHING is going to nake me feel better today"
He said, "just tell me what u need me to do and I will do it"
Bugs-"well I need u here, but as that will not happen, just take care of the kids"
Later he called and said he was on his way. We passed each other in opposite hallways when he got here
He got a cold reception from the family before I got back to the room. He asked my sister how she was, she replied "My son is dead". He backed off
I got back, he walked out to me and held me tight while I finally let it all out.
He was holding back, though. You all know what I mean. You FEEL the difference between being held by H vs WH
I thanked him for coming. He replied " bugs, I told you I would always be here for you. I know things have changed and it is not what you want, but I will be there if you need something"
I just replied that I did not want to talk about that right now
I wanted to scream at him! WHERE have you BEEN then?? I needed you hours ago! I should not have HAD to TELL you to be here
ANY other person, friend, co-worker, family, he would have been at the hospital ASAP. We have done it many times
I walked him outside. He only stayed like 5 minutes. Same thing outside
I had him call when he got the kids. H then tells me everything that he has going on this week, and says "do not worry about the kids I will take care of it, but will probably have to have other people help out"
I was crying again and just said thanks.
He did tell me to get some rest and called me babe before he hung up. A first for a long time
Talked briefly this am. Nothing really special
Gotta run. Bk ltr
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Bugs,
I am so sorry please know that all of us here are praying for you and your sister.
Remember God is there for you also right now. (((Bugs)))
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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{{{{Bugs}}}}
I am so sorry for your loss. I will offer prayers for you and your family and the soul of your nephew. May his gift to others be of some comfort - that is a very generous and brave thing.
I can't even imagine what you must be going through. May God wrap you in His comfort.
JinGA
F/40, DD15 DS13
M 1989
DDay his EA May 1998.
S Aug 2004.
D Dec 05. I filed.
4/07 Post-D Plan A with 180, with hopes of R.
6/23/07 XH said no to R.
8/24/07 Went on a date with someone new, "B".
1/22/08 Still seeing B, life is good! Learning and growing each day.
Ask me about Geocaching!
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I am praying for you and your family. So sorry to have this happen on Mother's Day. May you feel peace from all the prayers...
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Bugs:
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your nephew.
My Father had a cerbreal hemmorage and we had to make the choice as well.
Unfortunatly, they were not able to make any donations of organs because of some of the medical procedures.
A friend of mine was a heart transplant recipent and lived ten years with the heart of a 19 year old. His family made a deep and lasting connection to the young man who lost his life.
Even from death can come new life. After the transplantation of your nephews organs, your sister will learn of and become a member of a new family.
I'm trying to ease the pain. Your loss is great. But I want you to know that the organ donor choice is life in so many small ways for others.
I hope others around here check the box on thier drivers license, as well. (((BUGS))
Don't worry about WH. Expect very little from him right now.
And the best part? Everything about this week will reveal how low he has sunk. HE's gone. Your here. Maybe, just maybe, he will understand what he has become. The kick to the head....
LG
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Believe us when we try to convey to you the nature of the WS...like a CRACK ADDICT...NOTHING ELSE MATTERS BUT THE DRUG...NOTHING ELSE...
And they do have to REACH THEIR BOTTOM before ending the AFFAIR...
It will take PLAN B, Bugs...
SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR TRAGEDIES, BUGS..
In the end, when all is said and done, you will be a MUCH BETTER, A MUCH STRONGER PERSON....
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Oh Bugs... I am so sorry this happened to you and your family.
Forget WH right now... you don't need WH to add to your pain. WH is showing his fake colors by his blatant acts of selfishness and disrespect. Some day your H will truly regret the actions of WH during this horrible time in your life.
(((Bugs)))
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Some day your H will truly regret the actions of WH during this horrible time in your life. EXACTLY!!!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Sending more strength and prayers.
My condolences to you and your family, especially your sister.
Tell her she's gettin prayers from around the world.
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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I am so sorry for your family. I cannot imagine how your sister feels.
WS-36 BS (me)-28 4 Kids A started Jan 07 ________________________________
Then the time came When the risk it took to remain tight in a bud Was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-Anais Nin
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bumping for prayers for Bugs and her sister
Bugs, please know and let your sister know that even people who do not answer are praying for you and for her. Prayers to uplift you and your family are literally coming from around the world today. ((((((((((((((((Bugs))))))))))))))))))))
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{{Bugs}} Add me to the list praying for your sister and family.
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Please add my prayers. (((((Bugs))))) Thinking of you and yours today.
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Thoughts and prayers to you and your sister and family. What a terrible tragedy!
Sorry your husband couldn't realize how important his family is. Sad. But that is how they are.
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My condolences on your family's loss, Bugs. I can't even imagine...
Me: WS/BS
DH: WS/BS
D-Day: 5/06 (my confession), 3/07 (DH and OW1), 5-11-07 (OW2), 5-14-07 (OW2 again)
Official NC for me on 5-13-07. DH in ongoing state of wayward affairs, despite NC letters.
DDs: 10, 6, 5
DSs: 11, 8, 2, 7mo
*is busy reading*
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Bugs,
You and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry for the loss of your nephew.
Me = FBS age 51 FWH = age 51 M 25 years, 2 children 16 and 20 D-Day 5/19/05 Recovered and happy
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Bugs, I want to offer my condolences for the devastation and loss that your sister, you and the rest of your family are going through with the loss of your nephew. My son died following an auto accident 15 years ago, one thing that I've always felt good about was donating his organs so that others could live. It was the only good thing that I felt came out of his death. I hope that the knowledge that he is still helping others gives you and your family some comfort. I wish there was something that I could do to help you and your family during this difficult time. I will keep all of you in my prayers.
Diana
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Everyone -
Thank you all who posted your kind words, to all who have been sending your thoughts and prayers our way.
You have no idea how much it has helped us all.
I am at work to catch up a bit this morning. Unfortunately, they are now denying me access to MB on my work compter! Busted for spending too much time here I guess!
I will log in at home later with an update.
For now, late last night they completed the surgery to harvest his organs
His heart, lungs, kidneys and liver will give other people life. For that, we are thankful
As my sister told the dr, he was the kind of person who would have given all of those things even while he was alive if he could, just to help someone else
I gotta run but wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you all so much and God bless
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Bugs:
((((BUGS)))
And for your nephew: The seat on the right hand of GOD.
Peace for you today...
LG
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