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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Difference between cake eating and fence sitting? HELP!!!

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Difference between cake eating and fence sitting? HELP!!! #1820222 02/02/07 01:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 374 Alabama D Dupree Member
Dupree Member D Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 374 Alabama	What is the difference between cake eating and fence sitting?

Re: Difference between cake eating and fence sitting? HELP!!! Dupree #1820223 02/02/07 01:51 PM
Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,819 S sdguy038 Member
sdguy038 Member S Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,819	I'm not sure there is a significant one. Cake eating is where the WS is getting emotional needs met in two places (at home and in the affair). Fence sitting is being unable to decide whether to commit to the marriage or leave and commit to the affair. But usually people fence sit because they are allowed to cake eat. Does that make sense?

Re: Difference between cake eating and fence sitting? HELP!!! Dupree #1820224 02/02/07 01:54 PM
Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 598 H healingbird Member
healingbird Member H Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 598	Hmm....good question. In terms of an affair, I'd define it as follows: Cake Eating: Where the WS is getting ENs fulfilled from both the BS and OP. Fence Sitting: Where the WS is not yet committed to the marriage with the BS, but there is no OP involved. In reality, they're essentially the same thing - the WS has not made a decision. Just that when there's an OP involved, the WS is attempting to have the best of both worlds. Either situation is, IMO, not good for the marriage. The WS needs to make a choice, one way or another. The BS, if they want the marriage, needs to do what they can to influence that choice, to make themselves an attractive option for the WS (part of Plan A) and keep their love for the WS so reconiliation is open (part of Plan B). Formerly known as brokenbird BH (Me) - 38 WW (Magpie) - 31 Married 2001 (Together 8 years) DS - 13 DD - 5 EA/PA - 9/05-12/05 D-Day - 11/05 Second separation. Working on me. If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. John 15:7 (NIV)

Re: Difference between cake eating and fence sitting? HELP!!! Dupree #1820225 02/02/07 03:53 PM
Joined: Jul 2004 Posts: 2,033 SoCalNoCo K krusht Member
krusht Member K Joined: Jul 2004 Posts: 2,033 SoCalNoCo	Ani, SO SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION...MY BAD! What follows is my answer to you on your other thread. """ ""What is the difference between cake eating and fencing?"" There really is no difference. This is all my definition. Fence sitting is when the WS cannot let either party go EMOTIONALLY and cake eating is having SF with both parties and enjoying the fact that wayward is such a STUD or FOX depending on gender. At least that was my definition as I posted to you.""" CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!

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