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#1820872 02/04/07 10:35 PM
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Okay the condensed version,

WW and I have been separated since August, when I moved out because she wouldn't stop the A and traveling to see OM.

In November she had me arrested on domestic trespass, I release information I had gathered of improper use of company resource by other man to his company.

I was found not guilty

Supposedly they broke up and now have little or no contact.
I think he has moved on.

This was her soulmate and someone she can't stop thinkingt about.

Now her is the thing, I have access to her home phone records. I am in a position to know whenever she makes or receives a call.

So far she hasn't called or received calls from him on this phone.

I also know how many minutes a month she is using on her cell and its no where near where its been in the past.

I have a MIL that is enabling WW.

I am in a modified plan B but finding myself wanting to plan A more and more.

Just want to see what you guys think

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Let it go for now. Continue in Plan B. Continue to be a great dad and focus your energy there WW now needs to prove to you that she is a good risk. She needs to come to you with remorse and a plan on how she is going to change and meet all of the requirements that you listed in your Plan B letter. Basically, she has to earn her way back into your life and from my understanding based on some of your other posts, she has not come close to doing that.
IMHO, you should also not access her home phone records for several reasons.... you are committing a crime and you should be focused on you right now.... not still trying to catch or reel in a WW.
Good luck.

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viking

do you two talk at all...
what are the coversations like/about
if any

ark

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The conversation for a long time didn't exist, she would always relay messages through the kids.

Now we talk very little about the kids, I am always open and pleasant and try to expand the conversation.

She is still pissed about the custody hearing and me getting 50/50

She seems to be cooling a bit from that so I don't know if I should let it cool more or start being nicer.

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Vike,

I would simply be cordial, limit contact, be honest, hopeful, etc when given the opportunity to meet or talk with her. My actions would have little to do with her behavior, actions, words, feelings, etc. They would be mine and mine alone. If she saw something she liked then she can let me know. I would not pursue too much.

As far as getting 50/50 goes that is what should have happened. She can get over it or stay peeved. It really shouldn't matter to you because you did the right thing.

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Viking,

Same situation for me - WW is still angry at me and conversations are limited. Like you I try to be pleaseant and expand them but she is just not open to it right now.

Everyday before I leave from dropping off DD3, I tell her to have a good day and I squeeze her arm, leg, whatever I can reach quickly. She has not pulled away yet.

What hopeandpray said above is right on the money.

We both can do this!


Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids.

Plan A Thread
Plan B Thread
Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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If there is in fact NC between her and OM she really won't be receptive to you for some time as she goes through withdrawal. Once she comes out of that she will be more receptive to you so just try to treat her like you would anyone else for right now.

HTW


Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006
1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B...
...now stepping towards recovery?????
BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5
My Story
My struggle with an EA
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thanks... I will try

I have this urge to send her something for valentines... but I think the recommendation her would be no

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Send her a card, if you want. You know what they say, "throw out a crumb, see what happens".

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Vike,

Get her a valentine's gift (not more than $30) from the children. She will know that you organized it and yet it comes from the children so she will be more receptive.

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So...just when Plan B might be showing some effect, you want to stop? What does SH say about that?

Valentine's day is for lovers, and she's not yours at the moment. Give the kids a few dollars for cards and let it be done with. Plan B, pardner...Plan B.

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exactly.

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OMG is that the my hero???

Longhorn where have you been, I have missed our banter for so long.

You right, in my limited contact it will be all business, but with a smile.

Thanks

Bill


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