I slept very good last night. I woke up about 5:30 and even got in the bed, but I'm feeling much better now. Sweated out the poison in the hotel gym. Only 2 more days of this.

I don't have much time to post.

Talk to yall later

Convention's over. I go home in the morning. This will be my last post with 10 beers in me for a while. I had a great week. Actually it was too good. I got a ton of attention from the opposite sex this week. 3 months of weight lifting and eating right and working on myself has caught the attention of everybody but WW. I'm sure she's noticed, just letting the fog keep her from acting on it.

Not all is well though. My old black lab is dying and I will be putting her down tomorrow. I just hope she makes it till I get home so I can say goodbye. My neighbor called today, she's having trouble standing up. She's gone down fast. She was a good dog and I'll miss her. I just want her to find peace.

I joked with some friends today that my life is turning into a country song. My wife left, my dog is dying, and I have an old truck with 200k on it that won't last much longer.

But I'm doing OK. Don't worry, I'm still strong. I can't believe how good I feel lately. Never underestimate the power of a good Plan A. The Harley's and this web site have changed my life. I am very grateful for all the support and advice that I have recieved.

I'll post sober in the near future.

Talk to yall later.

I need some quick advice if anybody is out there. WW traded in the 4runner for a samller, cheaper car. The 4runner is in my name and I have to sign it over. I told WW before that I would do it for the equtiy in the house and she agreed. She traded in without my knowledge and now the dealership is waiting for me to come in to sign papers. Can I write up something my self that me and WW can sign and have notirized or de we have to go through a lawyer. Can we sign something that simple or do we have to seperate all the community property in order to do this.

What should I do. I told her I would do it, but I want something in writing.

Any advice?

Another quick question. If WW has new car in her name, we a re still legally married, no seperation agreement as of yet. Do I still have right to equity transfered to car? Is that car still community property?

I would definitely get something in writing about the agreement on the home equity. A notary should be enough. From teh courts perspective they would rather you could agree on all this stuff yourself.

About the new car, I would assume that it is still marital property since you have no legal separation agreement in palace.

More proof that you can never trust anything a WW says.

Get any agreements you've made together in writing and notarized if possible.

Make sure its notarized and witnessed by someone when signed. Make sure what is agreed to is very clear.

I finally got a hold of a friend of mine who is a lawyer. Louisiana is a community property state and I will still be entitled to half the equity in the vehicle. So if worse comes to worse down the road I am protected. I can live with that. I really didn't want to make this a big stink since we are on speaking terms finally.

As for as the trade in without my knowledge. I knew she went test drive, I just didn't know they would do all the paper work and make the trade without me signing first. That happened yesterday and she told me about it today, so not really a big deal. I'm not happy about it, but she never hid anything. We've been talking about this for a few weeks. I really didn't want it to happen because it makes her new life easier to live, but you have to pick your battles and I didn't see how making a huge stink out of this had any benefit.

On a new note. We had a special moment Fri night at home after putting dog down. WW was looking through old pics trying to find the ones with the dog. We ended up looking through everything: wedding, honeymoon, vacations, other places we lived, etc. and had a good time. I thought we made a connection and we talked as if nothing had ever happened. We were very close physically too. Sitting against each other. She's kind of turned back off since then. I invited her to come visit tonight and maybe eat supper. She said maybe and never called back. I doubt if she calls at all much less stop by as late as it is getting. I called at 5:30 to see if she was coming and she didn't answer, I think I'm getting blown off. That's Ok though. I am not expecting miracles.

What I am wondering is now that we are starting to establish communication again. How often do I make these attempts when she isn't accepting them. I pretty much know how I should handle it, just don't want to start appearing needy or desperate.

Anybody have any pointers from when they were at this point?

If you need a refresher, about three weeks ago I exposed to WW's school, about 2 weeks ago I made contact with OM and asked him to stop talking to my wife, which he agreed. WW lost it and ran to S in Texas for a week. Came back and gave me the I hate you I want a divorce AO from WW text book. She's been cooling for about a week and a half. We had our special moment Fri night. Got blown off 2 days later. I'm sure she'll be pretty up and down for a few more weeks.

Thanks for any advice

Is she still in contact with OM?

The rollercoaster ride goes up and down BC, from your special moment together to a few days later when it's seen as a "Moment of weakness on her part". I've experienced that myself. Don't let it phase you: Understand that when you feel like the two of you are going "up", remember the roller coaster goes down even faster. Also, I can tell when my wife has contact with OM because that rollercoaster plunges down right after contact. That's something to watch for - detach and watch the situation analytically. Nothing makes sense right now, until you know what to look for with a calm approach. This is the nature of the game.

As for communication: If you are separated, it's incredibly difficult. Don't call excessively - make it matter of fact, small talk, happy talk. Try to space it out a bit. She's only going to let you in as much she wants to let you in. I have a great deal of success when I write a handwritten note and drop it off. Small things, small tokens, short phone calls - UNLESS she wants to talk. If she does, you let her do the talking and listen. Keep a calm and confident tone, act happy, don't judge, and STAY AWAY from the R or M talk. That will make her feel safe talking to you, and you may find a bit more of it forthcoming.

I don't know if she is still talking to him or not. She moved out and got new cell phone, checking acct, vehicle, etc.. My snooping options are all but gone. If I suspect they are getting hot and heavy again I'll do the spying on their homes stuff. Right now I'm just letting the dust settle after a few weeks of chaos. I've done all the exposure that I can other than letting her know if I know she is still making contact. I'm sure there is some contact since they work in the same school. I think about all I can do right now is keep improving my plan A. It is pretty strong, but it could always be better. I think she's definately starting to notice it at least. The changes in her have been miniscule, but I do notice them.

Thanks for the advice

Hi, Cajun, I was just checking in on you...things are interesting on my end...

I didn't read enough to see how you are doing...LOL...I'm trying to catch up with everyone and my thoughts are scattered tonight...

I'm so glad that you enjoyed your show.

Please be careful with you're sitch right now...I'm a little worried about your WW's action...I don't see, JMHO, how you can make light of her trading in the car...I mean yes, you knew she was going for a test drive but this is still something that sould have been POJA'ed...that's a mjor decision that effects the two of you...

Please, please don't down play your sitch...I was really bad for that...be careful!

Just lookin out for you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hey Rinder,

I've been following your post, but kind of trying to stay out of it. It's not easy watching you go through this and I'm right down the road. It looks like you have plenty of support from family and friends. Stay strong and I wish you the best of luck.

As for as the trade in, that is something that we have been discussing and came to an agreement on. We traded the car equity for the home equity. I got the better deal, of course none of it matters if we reconcile, this was just for my protection.

Things are quiet now on my end. WW is completely independant from me. I still see her once or twice a week and talk on the phone a few days a week. I will try to increase phone talk in the near future. I'm trying not to push it right now. We're still pretty fresh from the exposure chaos. From here on out it will be a lot of trial and error trying to reconnect. She seems to be letting me try to reconnect so I have to play my cards right and take it slow and easy.

Take Care

Good Morning! Okay, I understand a little better now! I see that you have a plan and you'll know what's right for you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yeah, it's a little rough right know, mostly my nerves and trying to keep my cool. I can't exactly ignore the threats of burning the house down...TBH, we have been dsyfunction from the start...I can look back when he still have some C with his XGF and think "How naive have you been?"

Anyway, I can't kick myself to hard, dumb kids huh? I have to focus on what's right for me and my boys now! I'll be fine...I'm a survivor! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

GO AHEAD T-FRED!!

LOL

Just checking in..

I talked on the phone with WW twice yesterday and conversation was pleasant. It seems like she may be letting me back into her life a little bit. Conversations are getting longer and more participation from her. She is still hot and cold though.

She came by the house today to pick up a check from income taxes and drop off some clothes for son. She wasn't mean or angry, but was pretty cold and anxious to leave.

I am still not happy with her personal life. I get zero info about her life without me and I'm extremely worried about her. I can spy on her, but there isn't anything left for me to expose. If she is moving on without me then I can't do anything to stop her.

I will Plan A as long as I can stand it. Then I will Plan B for a while. It is so hard to be patiant. This is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done.

I am still confident and strong, but the pain seems to make its way to the top every now and then. Tonight I am hurting. I guess it's because today was a big let down. My old truck is starting to die. Check Engine light came on today and engine started shuddering. I know it's probably miss firing and I just spent a lot of time and money fixing that about 6 months ago. Then WW came home and was fairly cold and didn't stay long.

On a lighter note, my life is now offically a country song.

My wife left me, my dog died, and my truck is broke down.

YEEHAWW!!

Things can only go up from here right?

Hoping tomorrow's a better day.

Later

remember when you play country music backwards you get your dog, and wife, and truck back <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'll take the wife and truck back, but if my dog rises from the dead I'm outa here...LOL

You're doing great BC. I think there about 8 thousand songs that could describe our situations. I'm sorry to hear about your dog -

I'm a rock guy myself, so I'll stay away from the Country and the Evanescence!