Thanks for the kind words Everybody

I talked to the friend that helped WW this weekend and aparrently there was some 2x4's along with the consoling and counseling. Friend lost a BF in the past due to the same thing and I guess she doesn't want to lose another one.
I know WW was keeping A hidden from friend as much as possible, so she came to the rescue, but not with out an a$$ chewing to WW.

You really find out who your REAL friends are in times like these. I thanked friend and her H from the bottom of my heart for the help they have given WW.

I'll keep ya'll posted

Prayin' for you and your WW like mad!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers night and day.

Oh, and btw--what a little man you have! Three years old and he told his mommy that his daddy loves her! GO BC, JR!!

Your faithful friend,


CJ

Yeah, and not just once, DAILY

That kid's my friggin HERO!!

Thanks for the prayers CJ.

I got a suprise phone call this afternoon. I went like this:

WW: Hey...UH...DS wants french fries.

ME: OK

WW:(laughs)..What am I trying to say?...I need to stop by the house and I just wanted to know if maybe we could all go eat together. Do you want to go?

ME:Well...Yes...I want to go.

So we went out to eat tonight. The whole Famn Damily.
Conversation was nice. We had a good time.

When she dropped me off we only talked for a minute and all she really said was that she felt a little wierd and uncomfortable. I said yes, it will feel that way for a little while, but the more time we spend together the easier and more comfortable it will feel. I repeated; nothing's going to happen over night. We need time. I put my hand on her shoulder and thanked her for the evening. She almost cried.

Also, at dinner DS went through his I love mommy and daddy speach and WW laughed and repeated what DS said.

So not a magical evening, but progress none the less. Baby steps.

Oh Yeah, you're gonna love this

I had sent SIL, BIL, and MIL some info awhile back concerning WW's condition. WW had MIL foward the email and she read everything. In the email I had attached an article about The Fog. WW told me tonight that SIL change WW's name in her cell phone to The Fog..LOL.. She said SIL had called her today and asked how was The Fog and WW
responded, "Clearing Up".

So now I might have to deal with IL's calling WW The Fog for the rest of my life..LOL

I just hope I get the chance

Good for you! I'm happy that things are looking up...I hope that they continue for you!

I like the FOG thing!

Read my thread and hear all teh fog I had to listen too tonight!

Trying to keep my head up! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Rin,

I checked out your thread and yes the fog is a little thick in Houma. Must be all the swamp. Good thing you're on pilings and can see over it.

BC wrote: "So not a magical evening, but progress none the less. Baby steps."

What do you mean not a magical evening? It was so a magical night out to eat. Heck your wife asked you to dinner. You spent time out as a family. This is something on other person on earth can do with her. Only you my friend. You were so adding to her LBank.

Good going!!!

You're right Maybe. I was just trying to be humble. Trying not to get overly excited about it. I don't want to set myself up for a big fall.

But I did enjoy every second.

Thanks

Good for you! I'm looking forward to seeing if she contacts you today for a get together, no matter how small!

HAve you made you list of what you would need to recover from her A? you've spoke of NC, is there anything else?

Great job BC. A fine job of determination, patience and execution of a solid plan with maybe some well deserved good luck thrown in. You are wise to be prepared for any possible setbacks but the news sounds really great.

Rin,

I havn't gone there yet. WW just ended it Fri. I don't know if we should be doing anything anytime soon other than spending some time together while she goes through withdrawl. Trying to reconnect a little bit. I offered her SAA to help with understanding what happened. She is still pretty fogged out and can't figure out how she let everything happen. She is mad at herself and wants to own her choices, but she is still very emotional and weak. She declined SAA with some fog babble; I read for escape, not information.

I guess I could start working on a list for myself though. I havn't given it much thought since I worked so hard to get here, which is a place I really started to doubt that I'd ever see. That says alot for sticking to your Plan even when it seems hopeless.

I'd be shocked if she called again today. I'll probably call tonight or definately tomorrow just to check up on her. We need to reconnect, but she's not exactly recomitted to the M and I don't want to smother. I'm trying to take it slow for now and gradually work back to daily contact. Now if she wants to start talking daily then that's great.

I guess I just don't want to dive in head first when I know the water isn't very deep.

Thanks for stopping by. Take care

The question was more for you and your preparation...I'm sorry I wasn't clear on that...


Ah, good to know information, hold that close to your heart! I would keep this in the forfront of your mind...this can be unheathly...stressing CAN...

The whole fantasy land thing...

IMHO, it's why I can't read romance novels!

ALso, PLEASE do not get your hopes up TO high...YES< it's a wonderful thing, but I have seen a lot of false recoveries here...actions speak louder than words...

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bring you down, I would just hate to see you get hurt worse...what an OUCH!

Just looking out for You! My dear friend...LOL...who I owe a favor too I think!?!!?!?!?! LMAO

I hear you...stay above the fog, but under the clouds.

and you don't owe me anything....at least wait and see if your car is still running come Thu..LOL

LMAO...that's what I had you guys and my Sponsor for! LOL

I'm going to tell Tim that! LMAO Just playin! Thanks again!

What goes up must come down. NC with WW since Mon.

I sent her an email yesterday with a pic of me and a guy that looked like elvis at Blarney Blast. No reply.

I called twice tonight(no answer) and left message the second time. Basically, Hey how are you. Hope you're doing alright. Give me a call back, doesn't matter what time. I'll talk to you later.

So, I'm down. Not too bad. Just got that pain in the gut that you never get used to. Wish I had a cigar tonight.

I have a fun weekend planned though so that should pick me back up. I should be taking DS for his first boat ride Sat. I can't wait for that.

Have a good evening

BC,

Hang tough and enjoy the weekend. Spending time with my kids gets me through the tough times. It's hard because we only get about 2.5 hours in the evenings during the week, but I make sure we have lots to do on our weekends together.

BC,

Have you ever told your wife that she is not a bad person, she just did a bad thing? My FWW told me that when I told her this, she felt like I would not hold it over her head forever. It allowed her to feel that there was a path home agian, so to speak.

BC- I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting...thing is that WS's are actually sincere "WHEN" they say these things...it's the addiction and the rollercoaster ride...

It's just like an Alcoholic saying that they want to quit and that they are going to go to AA meetings...at the time, they mean it but the addiction gets in the way...

It's a matter of developing loving detachment...where you can see the addiction separate from the person...

I think that you need to ask yourself some questions...one how long did you plan to stay in plan A? What's healthy for you and your son?

Being on the water will be a great time to give it some thought, IMHO, b/c it's so peaceful!

Backing you NO MATTER what...thanking you for sharing your life with us...blessed to know you!

Thanks Ep...Spending time with the boy definately takes the edge off.

Maybe,

I do want to say something like that to WW. She's just so fogged out right now she is still playing the victum and when I speak she feels attacked. Was your W still fogged out when you told her that? Did you get a negative response when you first said it?

Rin,

I'm the King of loving detachment. He//, even when she's spewing garbage I'm just happy to be spending time with her. Still hurts though.

My Plan A kind of changes with the sitch. I figure I need to give her a month for withdrawl(IF NC IS MAINTAINED) and if I can stand it another to try and make Plan B more effective. Hopefully Plan B will never happen, but I can't take much more of this. SO, If she can't maintain NC then off to Plan B it is.

Thanks for everybody's support.

BC,

I got nothing at all when I said that, at the time. Check this out though:

My sitch in short.

Busted FWW and OM in an EA, had been going on about a year. They worked togther and nothing changed until my FWW found a new job away from him. It then took 4 more months of NC for her to crack. We were out Christmas shopping one day and she just cracked. Spent the day crying and talking. Talked ALL day about how the OM used her and what a POS he is and such. I don't even remember what stores we went to that day.

After a week or two my FWW told me (LISTEN UP BS IN PLAN A) that the changes that I made to me while on PLan A (she didn't know about Plan A at the time) made all the dif in the world. Those changes made it very clear to her that I was the one for her. That is what did it for us - plan A.

My FWW went on to say that she did notice all the things I did and said while she was in the fog and WD. Surprised me b/c I didn't think anything stuck with her at the time.

Keep planting the seeds now so they can pay off later on.

hope this helps.