Actually I hope her depression today is a good sign that no contact is taking place, do you feel that may be a good assumption to make??

well just a quick update, WW and I had a good Valentines Day, I have taken the advice of many on this site and am not love busting, although she continues to try to LB herself. She still continues to talk about moving out, I think she is keeping that in her back pocket just in case the other man comes back for her. What a great way for me to have to live pretty tough.

Found out Thursday, OM and WW are still seeing/talking to each other. Informed OMW. WW said she exposed it because she is tired of OM hiding the affair. Sounds like WW wanted to have him to herself. Not sure how much longer I can hang on, my love for her has started to dry up during this, i have been fighting for it for so long. WW now claims the affair is finished, and that they fight all the time. Not sure what to believe anymore, we have been through it twice already in that the OM exposed it to his wife and affair still continued along without stopping. It's just a big crazy mess with no resolution in sight.

Never mind.

S40:

Welcome back!

Give us some more info, Ok!

well my wife has came out and actually appears to be honest, she has told OM to stop calling her, although he is still calling. I am thinking maybe NC could be a possibilty pretty soon, I am hoping that will be a step in the right direction. OM at this point is burning himself because when he calls my wife she tells me and he will need to tell his wife before i do. i'll keep you all posted could be an end to this nightmare soon and hopefully a new beginning.

Well just a quick update, i think NC is still occurring, my WW appears to be very depressed and angry, of course taking her frustration out on me, very tough to deal with seeing your wife like this for another man, just want to tell her to get out. OMW also says NC is a possibility so maybe things are looking up, but it's been less than a week so I am taking a wait and see attitude.

I must be invisible out here i get no responses from you guys(-:. Well anyways with the current breakup of the affair my WW is of course extremely hurt and of course only thinks of her pain, this whole thing is compounded by the fact that she had an abortion (OM baby), last May 1st I found out about this Nov 21st of 2006. She feels everyone is lying to her, as i have lied to try and keep my conversations with OMW secret for spying purposes and of course OM had been lying all the time to both his wife and mine, WW thinks nothing of her lying. I just don't know how to deal with all her emotions as she is taking all her pain out on me. Is this maybe a good time to separate, she is not open to consoling I or M. Just don't know where to go with all of this. Very messy situation

((surviving40))

Very messy indeed! I don't have much to say. Sounds like she is in serious withdrawal. And given all the compromises she made to be with this other man-she is probably feeling like crap.

There are others here who understand withdrawal and can give you lots of help in this.

I just wanted you to know that we're here for you.

S40:

We are not ignoring you, we just don't want to admit that we are past 40. LOL

IF the A is over and NC is established, THEN your WW can begin the process of withdrawal. Until then, all bets are off.

Really.

But you can do the right things as well.

No lovebusters.

Own up to your Lies (really not, but humor her) about talking to OMW. You have that right to talk to OMW, and discuss what WW is doing with her H. In order to END her A. Tell her what you discussed with OMW. Be honest. Can't hurt. Tell her that you never want to talk to OMW again. And if WW doesn't talk to OM, you will never need to speak with OMW again.

Of course she is taking all the pain out on you. Who else does she have? And if you do take the abuse, and indicate to her that you will not act in the same ways you did for 15 years, then she will notice that. And slowy, surely, the venom will disappear. The anger too. Well, her's will, yours will have to be dealt with.

Do you want her back?

If the answer is yes, then you have to make it happen.

So, I have asked you three times about what you think your top 3 EN's are, and what you think your WW's top 3 EN's are.

And you have not answered that.

Have you bought, borrowed or stolen, HNHN and/or SAA?

Give some answers to the following:

I love my Wife because she was......

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

I will love my wife in the future, because she will:

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

And I asked you this, with your response:


Why would you consider it odd?

If you thought you could do ONE THING, that would blow your WW away and make her fall back in love with you, embarrassment be darned, what would it be?

If I rode up with a white charger and swept my BS on to the back of the horse and rode around town for an hour, she would just die in my arms. Her Love Bank would just explode. Killing her instantly. LOL.

So, what would you do?

Today may not be the day to do it. Tommorrow either. But what about two months from now?

I would have loved to propose to my wife that way. Didn't have the cash at that time. But, we need to, as husbands and lovers, prove our love in some outlandish way for our Wives on occasion. It can be a simple as unexpected flowers, or as elaborate as a White Charger.

It's got to be about you and her to be really successful. Did you ever see the move "Hitch"? Break the mold, step out, and catch the eye of the woman you want.

And if you read all of the above and thought, "Why the he!! would I do anything like that for this lying, cheating woman?"

Then you need to ask yourself:

Do you want her back?

Because it is up to you to do the work.

OK?

thanks johnstwin she is in withdrawal, she gave up alot to be with this OM. To answer lousy golfer, i will get the EN together soon just kinda got off track with everything going on, the days go by very fast right now. I do still need to decide for myself why I want this woman back or what my reasons for wanting her back are. Tough to take someone back, since I feel like a second choice. I know i shouldn't but i do. Right now is not the right time to do anything out of the ordinary. Like you said maybe in a few months.

Thanks Guys for all your help.

S40:

Second Choice?

I destroyed my wife. Not high self-esteem before the A and when it was confirmed, she went wwwaayyy low.

But I told her:

"I was involved with OW, and I didn't know the way out, but with OW long term, that was second choice."

Affairs fizzle out.

Your W's was for 4 years, just like mine.

But I knew early on that I had something better, in BS, then I could ever have with OW.

So I never left. Mrs LG was, and always will be, the one for me. I walked in the forest for a long time. And wish I had found this place before the A.

Because the M I have now......Amazing.



Ordinary doesn't change much.

So stop being ordinary.