First let me say that I am knew to this board, and I appolagize in advance for possibly posting wrong area, or other such forum boo boo's.

I recenlty discover that my wife was hiding a secret. Let me first state that she has not had a phyisical relationship with this man to the best of my knowledge. Of course she says she hasnt also. Though her credibilty is shotty at best right now.

I discocered some chat logs that she had with a male co-worker. I had my suspisions all long. He was saying inapropriatte things to my wife, and although she didnt go alonf with what he was saying she didnt stop him, but instead changed the subject and or ignored the statements.

However later in the chat she asked him how to delete cookies. Of course she wasnt able to.

I had asked her many time previous to this caht log discovery, if there was something going on between them. She always told me I was crazy, but I trust my gut.

When she was confronted with evidence she couldnt deny ( chat logs, phnoe calls) she confessed. She told me that this male had told her on several occasions, that he liked her, also asking if she were single would she go out with him. She told him yes. She claims that she told him that she was happily married, but she also continued this relationship with him, admittingly flirting in a sexual manner with him.

My problem with the whole thing is more on the honesty issue. I asked point blank about there relationship, ans she lied. She now says she is glad that I know. We are moving forward, and she has quit the job.

I guess I am just looking for some objective opinions, and or advice.

I love her dearly, we have been married for 6 years and have 2 lovely children, that I couldnt even dream of messing this up for.

[color:"blue"] Would love the hear from the ladies on this one too.[/color]

Please help!?

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a good place to be under the circumstances.

Your wife did the right thing by quiting. Now the two of you need to do a lot of talking to figure out why this happened. Don't just sweep it under the bed, and pretend that it never happened.

Thanks, I think bad communication has helped get us where we are, we are now seeing a counsler to help with that matter.

After 34 years of marriage I recently found out that my husband had been unfaithful. I was having some medical issues and went to the doctor and he said an abrasion I had resembled a something he had seen in people with herpes. We both dismissed it, but he had me tested just to make sure.
The test came back positive. I was in shock and quickly tried to get educated about herpes. Since I had never slept with anyone else but my husband how could I have an STD and herpes II at that. When I mentioned it to my husband and asked him if he had slept with anyone else he said no. I had the test done again when I had my routine physical and once again it was positive. The more I read the more I was convinced that I had to had to have gotten it from him. He went to the doctor for a physical and was tested. It also came back positive. He continued to deny, but I would not let it go. FINALLY he admitted that he had slept with someone once, So he says. I want to believe him,but I am mired in his betrayal and his willingness to expose me and our marriage to whatever.
Having herpes is bad enough, but what this tells me is that
the sex was unprotected and he didn't give a damn about me/us at all. I have been with him since I was 15 years old and he has been the only man that I have ever been intimate with. I trusted him to protect me,and our marriage. I have never had anyone hurt me so. He claims it was only one time and that he is profoundly sorry, but I do not know what to do. He said it was a mistake. A mistake is something that you did not intend;it happens accidently. Since when is having sexual intercourse with someone an accident.I cannot seem to get past the fact that my body has been defiled through no fault of my own. The only thing I did was love and trust a man who swore before God to love , honor and cherish. When I think of him having someone else, being intimate with someone else I
am both enraged and excruciatingly sad. How can I move on? I have three child two of whom are adults. There are days when I feel okay and days when I can barely function. Please help.