Im so incredibly sorry for the pain I have caused him, and that it will never happen again. I have and continue to work on myself and change the things that werent right with me . I believe not valuing and loving myself enough allowed me to wonder into another mans arms looking for something I only needed to find within myself.
I know that recover can be a slow process and Im trying to be patient and understanding, it is just so hard sometimes. What do I do when his behavior continues to be of that prior to the A and what contributed to it. I know that it was me that made the decision to have an A and that no one made me.
I told H when I moved back home that I would not allow things to go back to the way they were before, I would end our marriage first, and that it would be the right way, and not through a cowardly A. I think we both have to take risks and trust eachother again. We both have been hurt.
Im trying to show him that Im changing and that he can trust me again. What can I do if he refuses to open up even just a bit and allow some trust in. I know that hes hurt but how can I earn any trust back if he isnt allowing himself to acknowledge it. Im I fighting a loosing battle here? Please if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.
Hi Trigirls...
I too am a FWW. Our timelines are pretty similar. I have read your other thread, it seems like you are on the right track. I too struggle with...I guess I'd call it...disappointment? when it seems like M is reverting into old dysfunctional patterns (those nasty LBs!).
I keep in mind that recovery isn't necessary a straight line forward, sometimes it's a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. It's the direction forward that ultimately counts in the end.
Make sure you keep focus on improving yourself as well as your marriage which it seems like you are doing.
Oh and thanks for starting a book recommendation thread. I have been hoping for one.