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Joined: Mar 2007
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Bump for JL...

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hii. i think om mustve contacted her... it doesnt make sense that as soon as he is "out", they end up together. but i dont that really matters right now. you know.

where are you? with her out of town, you have some time to think and calm down and breathe. get your plan together.


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Gosh I hope you aren't who I think you are.

What is her reason for not coming home IMMEDIATELY? That is hard for me to figure out. That would be the best course of action. Please don't tell me it is because of the job. She would need to quit that anyway to have any hope of the marriage continuing.

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I_D,

What is your thinking now? What is her thinking right now? I have many thoughts that I think I had better keep to myself right now. However, I really would like to know what your current trend of thought is. I would also like to know what your W is doing. Does she call you? Does she offer any explanations? Is she remorsefull (I know for being caught but that is a start if she is)?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

God Bless,

JL

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What is your thinking now?


Simple. No children between us, nothing shared financially, at least nothing to amount to anything, no reason to continue is my thinking.

Quote
What is her thinking right now?


Says she is sorry. Asks for forgiveness. Doesn't want me to end it. Whenever I tell her that I can't see it being fixed, she says that everything can be fixed. Says she will do whatever it takes to fix it. Can't do a whole lot, though, being that far from me.

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I would also like to know what your W is doing. Does she call you?


Yes, she calls. However, there are times that there is a fair amount of time that she probably could call that she doesn't. Enough to have had time to be with him, and that messes with my mind. Those are the hard times for me. I could use a 1 minute call, just to ease my mind.

Then...probably normal, but....she then gets irritated at me because of how much I am asking. Take today, for instance....She called and I heard from her again 4 hours later. There was no reason that she could not have called me a couple of times within those 4 hours other than she just didn't. I tried to explain to her that the helpful value of her calling me far outweighs the trouble it would have been for her. The fact that she doesn't see that, and finds a way to justify it bothers me.

Another thing....any little thing that may be a little inconsistent drives me bananas. Some she could keep from happening, but would require a little effort on her part. She has problems with that. That only adds fuel to the fire.

I have decided that she is NOT going to do "whatever it takes". If it makes her feel like crap, or makes her feel controlled, it ain't going to happen.

I'm ready to chuck it all. Especially considering the distance between us.


Quote
Is she remorsefull (I know for being caught but that is a start if she is)?


I really don't know. Maybe I am looking for that remorse way too soon. I do know that she has a problem with showing me, but can readily say it. That is eating at me as well.


For believer.....

Not exactly a job, per se, that she is doing. There is no way that she can leave and come home right now. There are obligations she MUST fulfill without going into greater detail at the moments. Let's just say that there would be severe ramifications if she just up and left. And there would be no way that our relationship would survive those ramifications. Although she could leave at any moment. But the consequences would be bad.

Last edited by Im_Defeated; 03/14/07 11:13 PM.
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Defeated:

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Let's just say that there would be severe ramifications if she just up and left.

What? Losing her Marriage isn't enough?

It better be pretty important, whatever she's doing.

Can you go there?

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What? Losing her Marriage isn't enough?

It better be pretty important, whatever she's doing.

Can you go there?


99% chance of some time away from home - up to 5 years...

That is all I can say...

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For those who may be wondering...

After careful thought for a few days, I have decided to end our marriage.

Although I love her very much, there is absolutely no trust left, and I have no faith in her anymore. There is no need for a Plan A, or Plan B. I really don't believe it applies here.

Seems as though there is no emotional structure between her and OM. Just addicted to occasional trysts with him. Must really be good.

Can't live with that thought in my mind, and I know it will never leave. Since there is nothing of value that binds us, there is no need to hang around.

Sad...So sad....And I truly believe that she will regret this for many days. I really do.

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I_D,

It sounds like a well reasoned decision. I am sorry it has come to this, but I sounds as if this makes the most sense in the long run. Clearly there are other details you are not mentioning, but really it does not matter if you have made up your mind.

Again, I am very sorry.

God Bless,

JL

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