Well, I come with two teenagers, two cats, and one dog - none of whom are expendible.....so, I'm out of luck, too.

Besides, I have the diplomat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

All cats are expendible.

Not on your life. Not on your life. My cats are precious.

...i could have sworn that I posted to AGG after Cinderella and the post DISAPPEARED!

What's up with THAT?

Okay, gang! This thread was supposed to be all about ME!!!!

LOL. Actually, I think the expendability of cats and where AGG is from is much more interesting.

BTW, I had the must beautiful waitress at lunch. I couldn't stop staring. She was Russian.

Well, then tell us - have you had the chat?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


So did you tell her about your great friend (moi) who is all single (at least for the moment)???

AGG

AGG, we've had a chat. M said he'd really work at sharing his feelings more. We also discussed "autonomy" and my concern that he may not be willing to give it up. I also told M that I had switched the cable so that I was paying for it. He was upset because it was part of the gift of the TV. He was also upset because he knew I switched it so that I could break up with him if things don't improve.

I wanted to share on thing with you. You talked about the girls getting more attached to M, and I think they are. However, M and I still spend less time together than you and G did. M comes over one night a weekend when the girls are at my house, if that. So, he's not part of their daily life.

I'm going to wait and see, but I'm not expecting much. I do think that I took action on the cable bill shook him up big time. M thought I was breaking up with him there on the spot.

Greengables,

This made me laugh:

It made me imagine this silly conversation:

GG: I’m breaking up with you!
M: You can’t break up with me! I pay for your cable!
GG [to herself]: Drat! He’s right! I can’t break up with him if he’s paying for the cable. Oh, whatever will I do?

Not at all making light of your actual situation, which I know matters a lot to you.

Too funny!

Sometimes it takes something unrelated to get a conversation going.

LOL! Curious, you are right. It is funny. I hadn't thought of it that way. It was more.. Can I allow a man to pay my cable bill if I'm not certain we have a future?

You can tell that most of us here do not abide by the "entitlement" mentality. We seem to be "stand on your own" type of people.

We know people are users in the world, but we could not be those people.

Greengable,


Good question. Where in the commitment spectrum does Paying the Cable Bill fall? Let’s list out some of the major milestones in increasing order of commitment, shall we?

First date
Regular phone calls
Knows which cabinet the “good glasses” are in
Meet the parents
She stows a few tampon in his bathroom cabinet
Has his/her own key
Helps clean the bathroom
Automatically included in family events and photos
Rent home together
Buy home together
Marriage


Where would you place paying the cable bill on that list? I think it comes down to whether he’s paying for a set period of time, which goes along with it being part of a gift, and paying it indefinitely, which is more like sharing a financial obligation.

Gifts do not have to imply commitment. Of course, bigger gifts usually correspond with greater relationship solidity.

Sharing a financial obligation of this small size implies togetherness into the foreseeable future. But it’s not a permanent commitment. It’s more like saying, “I’m prepared to assume that we’ll be together, and I’m prepared to behave accordingly. If things get really hard, I’m not prepared to say I’ll do my best to work them out with you. I might, but I won’t promise that.”

I spent a lot of time in that “together for the foreseeable future place” when my husband and I first got together. It was tremendously comforting to me. It was my opportunity to genuinely experience the relationship with the safety of knowing that if he stopped being his wonderful self, I would not be obligated to work my tail off to make things work. It was my way of mitigating the risk of getting into a relationship of uneven effort – which is what I had endured before I met my husband.

But back to your question. The uncertainty of your relationship’s future seems much closer to the “I might break up with you” scenario than the “together for the foreseeable future” scenario. And therefore, I can see why you wouldn’t want to share financial obligations. So simply thank him for the gift of the first few months of cable before you switched the service to your name. A gift that you can be very graciously appreciative of, not a shared burden.

So how was the movie? =D

AGG,

the woman who sits next to me at work is from Russia, and when asked about nationality and women, i always say of russian women, the spies are beautiful.

so, let me put your dating in perspective, you would prefer a divorce parent, because then you wouldn't have to deal with the NMNK lack of empathy and understanding. . .

then, being divorced, you woudl certainly prefer the non wayward spouse, so that you got the better one. . . is that a fair estimate?

and then, if you got the non wayward spouse, you would have wnated them to have gone through the Harley MB counseling and sensitivity course, or individual counseling to be fully matured and healed from the divorce wounds, is that correct?

just wondering . . . there are very, very few of those around. . . if any in LA . . .

wiftty

I dunno about all that, wiftty.. I just know that I like J, who is NMNKND ("no dog"), and whom I saw twice now and will see again on Thursday <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

Who_Dat - the movie was great <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />...

AGG

I think that list works for many of us here.
We need someone who has experienced a serious relationship, survived a major crisis in that or another relationship, and has experience parenting (in a similar parenting style of course). Preferably their children are grown and out of the house to avoid the many conflicts and where will you live decisions. Must be emotionally mature and healthy, as well as fiscally mature and healthy.

Now, after these are stated, where does the attractive partner/chemistry come in. Do we find the former first, then let the latter grow on us? Or do we find the chemistry first, then hope to learn the person has the list above?

Did I wipe everyone off the list, or are WIFTY and AGG still on the list? Since I'm not a size 0 in LA, I'm certain I'm not AGG's type (although I may be his religion based on his origin).

I don't think so, Newly. I think I remember reading somewhere that AGG was Jewish. Nice try though.

True <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. You ladies crack me up. How come none of you are on this coast, sheesh....

AGG

'Cuz you are on the wrong one.....the one that may fall off.