<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> LMAO...YOU said PROTEIN COLD ROOM! COOL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

"KELLY CLARKSON" Just say that it eases the pain.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

SAVE A HORSE...RIDE A COWBOY! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Easy, Rider!!

SL,

Please check out the latest post on my thread. I received a beautiful email from my mother....it applies to you, too.

Fox

Silent,

Just wanted to send hugs your way. You have been there for me so many times, remember all of us here understand and care for you.

Plus what is a protein cold room??? Anything like a clean room?
Does it store sperm samples?

Still

Wow, thanks bunches everybody. I'm so glad my reaction is normal


BC said...



IHC said

These words help so much.

Well, I met my son at a farewell party at this daycare (his daycare provider SUDDENLY retired, so she closed today). All was well until 7PM, when I told DS it was time to leave. He completely broke down, to the point where his legs were like jello. I had to carry him around to say goodbye to everyone (he's about 60lbs now).

I finally got him into the car and he sobbed, followed by wimpering all the way home. He said he missed his friends, then he said how much he missed his daddy. I was crying with him, quietly and trying to reassure him. I said, "it's going to be okay" at one point, and he said "no, mommy, it's not". I said right now he was right, that it hurts, but over time, he will make all sorts of new friends who live closer to his home.

It was heartbreaking. He's had to deal with so much change over the last year. It will be good when he starts school and has some semblence of structure. The same teacher everyday, same kids, not so much loss.

Again, the impact of all of this adds to the pleasure that I get in infidel land.

WEll, where is he going to go now before school starts?

I remember doing the same thing the last day of third grade...didn't matter that I would be back the next year...summer came and I just knew I had last all of my friends and wouldn't see them again...

I loved school! He must like it too!

DS is going to a new daycare for the summer months, then I will be cutting back my schedule at work to drop him at the bus and pick him up. I want to be home when he gets home now, and it's really only about 2 hours off my day. I will probably go hourly during this time, but I will still have insurance and 401k. I also will work with my bosses to attempt to keep my salary by forgoing any end of year bonus, which sucks, but beggars can't be choosy...

Cool, sounds like you have a plan...Good to hear...

You know YOU DO sound good despite the [email]cr@p[/email] today...

What are you doing for self-care tonight?

Well, my neck is killing me, has for a few days now, but I'm having problems with the hot tub and will need to work that out tomorrow.

I haven't really done anything tonight. DS didn't get to bed until 9:30 (fighting bed time), then I came here to see if anything interesting was happening, and then read Lemonman's thread and am now back to wondering if I should just give up on my M.

Sometimes you can't get a straight answer around here. I would think my sitch is tough to advise on. Many would say to be done with WH, some would say that he has shown some good signs and sticking it out, for now, is a good bet. Some would say to stick it out for the length of his A, which could be 2 years. Some say nothing, which can be the worst.

I'm beginning to understand eav's problems with this site. We are all human and this stuff can go against what we would assume to do, so it can be hard to digest and work the plans.

I'm just a bit tight right now...

SL - Don't fret - you will feel good about quitting when it is time. I did Plan B for a long time, wanting to save my marriage. Then all of a sudden, I was certain I wanted a divorce. I was done. Everyone has their own timetable.

Oh, sweetie...sounds like your head and your heart are not in the right place....I was thinking while writing that how I sometimes feel that it would be easier to go back...

This is only a choice that YOU can make...all the advice in the world is not going to help you make up your mind...only YOU can do that...say I'm tired of this...

Either way it's hard...I can KNOW something and still FEEL something else...I KNOW that it's unheathly but still feel that it would be easier to go back...

Why, is it becasue I've been so comfortable with my environment...I adapted...I survived...

As much as I like feeling free right now, there's a lot of pain that goes with that...THERE'S alot of pain that goes with anyone sitch...

Just as what's right for one IS NOT right for another...

we each have a different POV...your choice, you action!

Thanks believer. I can't see marching in to my lawyer's office right now, asking for a D. I just can't do it right now. My sorry little [censored] still WANTS to believe that we MAY make it. I read stories here where people suffered through much more than I have, and did recover, despite the ominous, continued horrible behavior of a WS.

I do long for clarity. I have clarity in other areas, but not when the D question comes up.

Emotions have been running pretty high with my DS, so I'm crying right now from all of the stress and confusion. I hope to feel better tomorrow. WH takes son during the days this weekend, so I get a small reprieve. Hopefully I will be able to regroup a bit. Too much drama this week.

Also, I got my first Mammogram on Wednesday (my mom had breast cancer, so I start at 35). It's just a baseline, but it is surprisingly nerve wracking waiting for the results in the mail.

I sometimes wish that I had the strength to just cut him loose right now, but I would like my son to have his daddy back. Is that a bad reason to try? I'm unsure anymore.

You will never regret doing the right thing and trying. I tried for over 3 years, and it never worked out. But I don't feel bad about it. I know I did all that I could. And I'm not miserable anymore, but happy all the time. You will get there too.

I threw WS out on D-day, and used to wonder if I should have just divorced him. It would have saved a lot of money and heartbreak. But now I'm glad that I gave the marriage every chance.

Thanks believer. I can't stop until I'm DONE. I think I'm going to hit the hay now, and relax a bit. I so appreciate you chiming in and bringing me down a bit.

Sometimes reading here can make a girl (or guy) nuts

WHAT ABOUT THAT THREAD MADE YOU WANT TO GIVE UP???

Mimi Hon where have you been? I haven't seen you are Marsh in a while. How's it been?

Mimi,

This is part of what I'm asking about Marriage Builders. Is this site only catering to those who have been in a M where there was one A? I didn't find this site until near the end of my first long false recovery, so was unaware of Plan A Plan B, and so many other things.

My H would be lumped into the repeat offender category, and the connotation I got was that people giving advise should steer from advising someone in my sitch to attempt recovery. Rather, I should consider what? The only other alternative that I can come up with that was unspoken is D. So, it got me to thinking about MY SITCH.

I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE UP, however, I don't hear many stating that my remaining in Plan B cold bring him back. I hear many saying that Plan B will insulate ME.

Now, no one has ever said to pack it in and give up, however, very few have said (unless my WH wrote some great letter--false recovery letter)that my M could be recovered. I guess people not only do not like to give false hope, they don't like to foster hope.

I don't know, today is a new day. I will have some time to myself, as it's WH's day with DS, so I have about 9 hours to do something with. It's a bit overcast, and may rain today, so I may just turn on some music, clean a bit and watch a movie, or read. I've grown used to entertaining myself, so I never have a problem finding something to do.

BTW, Mimi, you have always been very literal with your translation of MB principles, and very open about the advise given to you by the Harleys. I never remembering you say that recovery in my sitch is not possible. In fact, I've heard you say ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE if you BELIEVE.