(((SL))),

You are going into this with the right attitude.

Will keep you in my prayers.

Still

Ditto

(((SL)))

Me three.

You are a tough cookie.

Or, as I said to my therapist when he was pushing me to define Who I Am: you are a kick-a$$ chick who's well endowed (in my case, unfortunately, "endowed" didn't refer to certain physical attributes, but rather to the abundance of blessings in my life....but it's so much fun to say and the visual is great).

(((((SL)))))

I see this as my problem. It's my neck, my back, things I've had along for the ride for the past 35+years. MINE. Support from PWC will be nice, but I have no expectations right now. It's actually a relief to not be NEEDY of him. It's nice when he rubs my back or looks me in the eye and says something along the lines of 'good luck' when I have tests or doctor visits.

It's a very strange time now, but I'm adjusting. I'm still physically very active. Just this past weekend I did a load of gardening and also put fabric up on my bedroom wall. I was very busy, and it felt good!

I know I will need support with our son and with household stuff, so I plan on asking my dad to chip in here and there, but I don't expect it.

Ah, to be well endowed. I feel peaceful about this. Fear will come and go, I know this. Still waiting to hear from the surgeon for a consultation.

Now, if my neurologist would stop eluding to the fact that a fender bender could paralyze me, I could probably relax a bit more, but he's just concerned for me, which is good.

Hi, thinking of you and praying for you!

(((SL)))

I move that motion too on you being a strong woman! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, Lady Rin! I appreciate it.

SL,

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Continue to show the same attitude and things will be great.

I'm very sorry to hear about this, SL.

Prayers are with you.

Thanks Froz, for checking in on me. How are you these days? I know, don't tell me, some good days some bad days, right? Don't I know it.

I've had some time to digest this all, and weigh it out. I came to the realization that this is but another bump, another test, another challenge. I'm okay with that. I've made my peace with this, for now. I will continue in the same vein as new information comes about. I am awaiting a call from my assigned surgeon to schedule a consult. I was told sometime in the next two days, so we'll see.

I'm amazed at how I am handling this all. I must be doing something right, because I haven't felt this SANE, and at peace in a long while.

The way I see it, I could worry and wallow and wait for some terrible news, or I could deal with what I know right now. Right now, I know that my neck is in some deep trouble and that it MAY require surgery, which could nock me on my keester for about 6 weeks, more or less, and I may not be back to full speed until nearly six months later; full speed may also be a bit slower than previously. That is pretty big, but not in my control. What is in my control is using my body the best I can today, taking better care of it, respecting it and enjoying what I CAN do.

I'm still working on my bedroom. I've done most of the prep work for paint; needs some sanding and then I'm ready. I've received the material for my curtains and am preparing to sew those. I can't wait to revive that bedroom!

Good news about my ailing Aunt D; seems she isn't so 'illen' these days. Her tumor markers are WAY down and the tumors that were present in her spine have either shrunk or disappeared altogether. This really is amazing news. This woman has battled cancer, with her husbands support, many times over now. This is probably the third or fourth bout. They also have ushered in their 18th GREAT grandchild. How wonderful for them; a true team, an inspiration to me, and a road map on what a good marriage consists of (lotsa love and respect).

WONDERFUL!

I'm okay. Thanks for asking.

SL:

Where's the part that says that DETACHMENT is recommended during RECOVERY?

Why are you not talking your stuff out HERE?

I'm reading YOUR STUFF on other folks' threads...

What's up, SL????

I, honestly, am dealing with much the same STUFF, so it's kind of drole to discuss it over and over again. I notice very small changes, which is nice, but it's nothing to really discuss. Things are more emotionally settled here, but still so raw.

Still no physical affection, but I give because I want to; it makes me feel more like me, more loving. I show admiration DAILY, because it's a good thing to give. I do what I can or what I know; that's really all there is to it.

Detachment, to me, means you drop the illusion that someone else is responsible for your happiness, and begin taking that on yourself. It's a word, not a movement. It speaks to me and has been working for us. It has helped me to stop trying to control ANYTHING that PWC does, and I feel better about it.

Not much has changed, but when people post regarding what's happening in their existence, it sometimes strikes me and brings up questions. Sometimes, those questions being answered by the 'vets' helps BOTH of us.

If I do not detach and stop trying to control others, I'm going to lose myself, and that is not healthy. I have to take care of myself first, then everybody else.

Next time something strikes me that I have a question about, I'll move it over here.

Ok. Now I see what you mean by DETACHMENT, focusing on PERSONAL POWER. I LIKE THAT!!! COOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Riiiiight! I certainly do NOT mean that you cut yourself off from your spouse. Heck no!

Focusing on personal power is a more POSITIVE way to state detachment! I like it!

I still get discouraged, but it's usually my own fault. It's me focusing on what he doesn't do, and not what he does do. Also, he cannot know that something he does/n't do bothers me if I don't say so. I'm working on acceptance, too. Acceptance of PWC TODAY, as he is, each day.

It's easier to see his personal progress this way, and appreciate him for his efforts and changes.

It's very hard to focus on today, when you soooo long for a better tomorrow, but I'm doing it and I'm happier with most every passing day.

THAT'S MY GIRL!!

Your online grandmother, Mimi.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My mother would have been older than you; let's say you are my older, wiser, sister.

How ya doin' SL?

Physically, I mean. I've been thinking of you.....

Well, howdy Sis!

I'm PHYSICALLY doing OK. I have an appointment with a surgeon on the 20th of NOV, for an initial consult; reading of MRI films, discussing issues, etc. It's pretty far off, IMO, but I'm okay with it. That's still forward progress.

Thanks so much for thinking of me.

I'm riding my personal recovery coaster daily this week, not taking breaks. Lots of big hills and deep valleys. I'm having to struggle with resentment and sadness this week.

It's THAT time of the month, and I've noticed a pattern with me, where my anger raises to the surface. The good part of that is I am able to really see the problems/anger and deal with them; the bad part is I am so emotional, and at that time, I tend to step away from PWC in order to keep from lobbing my angry missiles at him, but then that creates distance. OY, I'm tired.

Tomorrow could come with a different mindset.

How about some chocolate?

WWers has some wonderful... 1 point... choices, branded also by Whitman, sold at SuperWalmarts in the candy section, near the greeting cards....

Do you think I'm a fan of these? You bet...

I enjoy dark chocolate now and then, just one piece, but how I sooooo much more appreciate it these days.

I baked some mini loaf cakes this weekend, and did enjoy a piece of that (pumpkin spice).

Lost one more pound this week, which brings me to 9 lost. Whittling that middle. I see a marked difference already, and my clothes are either too big or fit perfectly right now. That raises my spirits daily.

My 'carrier' son has brought me home another cold, so I'm a coughing, sniffling mess again (it's been only a few weeks since the last one). Ahhhh, the joys of kindergarten!

I had one sad thought as I was driving in this morning. I've lost some of my spark--well, I'm going to work on getting some of that back. I don't think I can get it all back, for it came with a certain level of naivete, but I can get some back. That spark that put a mischievous gleam in my eye; that made me jump up and dance when a great movie ended. *Things* have been far too serious for far too long in my home.

(Downside) Oh, and although he pulled away when I touched his arm (grrrrr), (Upside) my husband brought home Sugar Free chocolate chip Girl Scout cookies for me last night. It was very sweet, and thoughtful, and I had two.