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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 272
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 272 |
Not new to MB but this is the first time I have posted. We have entered into a plan A as far as I can tell. I am the one who has done the hurting and it was suggested by my wife that I seek help here. She is thinking about getting a divorce.
We just had our 11th anniversary last week. Things have been rough through out our marriage. I have failed to meet her needs and have caused emotional abuse in our life together. I need help in going in the right direction to save our marriage. I am despreate for help.
Biggest issue we have is me showing respect to her and honoring her wishes.
Brokenhusband
Married 12 years
Me 35
DW 33
DD 12
DD 10
DS 8
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a good place to be under the circumstances.
If there has been infidelity, you will get more help on the General Questions forum. If there are other problems, go to the Emotional Needs forum. At any rate, the divorce forum is not the right place, because we hope that you don't get divorced.
Check out the emotional needs questionnaire under the most popular links box to the right, and see if you can start meeting her most important needs.
Why do you think you have a problem honoring her wishes?
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079 |
Not new to MB but this is the first time I have posted. We have entered into a plan A as far as I can tell. I am the one who has done the hurting and it was suggested by my wife that I seek help here. She is thinking about getting a divorce.
We just had our 11th anniversary last week. Things have been rough through out our marriage. I have failed to meet her needs and have caused emotional abuse in our life together. I need help in going in the right direction to save our marriage. I am despreate for help.
Biggest issue we have is me showing respect to her and honoring her wishes. What seems to be the biggest area of disrespect?
Simul Justus Et Peccator
“Righteous and at the same time a sinner.”
(Martin Luther)
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 272
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 272 |
Disrecpectful judgments selfish demands and occasional outbursts of anger. The outbursts are more with the kids then with my wife.
Brokenhusband
Married 12 years
Me 35
DW 33
DD 12
DD 10
DS 8
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298 |
The outbursts are more with the kids then with my wife. Those probably hurt your W too, as if you were yelling directly at her. A man, dad or not, yelling at a woman's children brings forth the mama-tiger in her.
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 106
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 106 |
<<<deleted...wrong thread>>>
Last edited by Hardlesson; 03/30/07 09:12 AM.
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 272
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 272 |
I agree that any yelling no matter what for or at who is a love buster. I have started reading Fall in Love Stay in Love. And see all kinds of things I have done wrong. Trying to make chages slowly. Todays goal is to not yell for any reason. I need to find a respectful way to express myself. Yelling has no part in the future of this family.
Brokenhusband
Married 12 years
Me 35
DW 33
DD 12
DD 10
DS 8
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