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He has been pretty much the perfect post-A OM, and now I can only resent the fact that he does nothing to justify my hatred of him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />I love how you stated that! I believe that it is quite possible for me 2 dispose of what remaining animosity/pity I still find I do have for RM, if he were 2 just do stuff like that. But he hasn't. Not that I can see, at least. And my W still would like 2 believe that they can be friends again someday (a pic2re on her bulletin board has him in it, but she doesn't know I know), though she seems 2 be honoring my request for NC. About death: A great friend of mine committed suicide last year, as some of you may recall. I bought some of his 2ls and his pickup from his widow, which helped her out in a tough financial spot. I drive that truck a lot nowadays, and frankly can only think fond thoughts of the generous and funny man he was. Now, my MIL is likely wearing herself out prema2rely, by taking sides against my W in this house we're trying 2 sell out from under my W's sister. Quite outrageous, all of it. But you know? If she withers away as a result of her choices, it will be because of her choices. She'd like us 2 feel guilty for not giving a third of a million dollars away 2 someone who didn't earn it, but the simple truth is that we have nothing 2 be guilty of (and the whole experience applies in so many ways 2 our own marital recovery). But I will try 2 remember the good things about her. I think my W will, 2. -ol' 2long
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Piece of Sh** Maggot
Works for me.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I call the OW a ROSE in the hopes that saying that nice word will change a hawg into a rose. so far it hasn't worked! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> My apologies to hawgs. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 10,179
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The best name you can call an OP is "Gone". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> The difference between an OP and a FWS is like the difference between night and day. Or a cute little fairy and an ogress. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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SD, sorry to hear of your loss.
Pep, Maxi Pad backword is Dap Ixam.
I like Big K's - straight and to the point.
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Weel, as for us, almost 8 years into recovery, she never comes into conversation anymore. We live states and years away.
I didn't coin her nick, my then 14yo DS did. I drove a convertable then and it was summer. We were driving down main street when he stood up in the back,(a big no-no), and started screaming at another car next to us. "Hey, s**tgirl. How' ya doing'! Which was immediatly taken up by my other three rambunctious teen boys. I didn't have the heart to yell at him. That night they were all laughing and joking around about it when their step-father came home. He started to admonish them, took one look at my face and shut up. So s**tgirl she has been ever after.
6 grands
DDay August 15,1998
Reconcilled Mid-Sept.1998
Husband40 FWS, Me 47 BW
Fully recovered and moving on!
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I call OW Village Bicycle (credits to noodle!)
Everyone gets a ride, but nobody takes it home.
H, when he has to mention her at all, calls her "other" ... like that's her name.
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How about "marriage and family terrorist?"
Sometimes "it" comes to mind as someone in the OP mode doesn't deserve the status of human.
Last edited by BringItOn; 04/05/07 01:51 PM.
AKA
VowsRSacred/ VRS
Me 44 WH 46
dd Mar 7 06
Dday 2 Jan 19 07 EA and PA
DD 19
DS 10
DS 7
DD 4
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Hmmm...I have lots of names for the POS who has come into my life unsolicited.
The personal ones specific to him:
Doof, Doofy, Doofus = He's a nerd
Popeye Looking MF = He's not attractive
I NEVER call him by his name. He is unworthy. If I have to reference him, then I call him something derogatory and de-humanizing.
In my situation or others:
I always refer to the other man with the acronym DB. That's more appropriate. "OM" is too nice of a word. If my WW is an alien, "Other Man" is the douche bag she will eventually throw away...they always do.
Cheers,
BS (Me) - 33
WW - 31
Married 14 years, together 17
Daughter: 16 yrs old
Separated: 12/29/06
D-Day: 2/2/07, EA/PA With Co-Worker
Plan B Started: 3/6/07
D filed by WW: 4/18/07
Olive Branch offered (Plan B resumed after): 8/8/07
R Attempt by WW: 9/1/07
NC Established: 9/4/07
NC Broken: 9/5/07, 9/6/07
Status: Plan B, Pt. II (9/10/07)
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Hey, that was me! Before I came up with the name "Rat Meat", I referred 2 him as "The OMW's H". I did this during every one of our MC sessions after the 2nd or third one, using his W's name, calling him "K****'s husband".
It works fabulously, 2. It's a quick way 2 remind the WS that there is an innocent victim of their behavior out there, who's out there no matter how much they'd rather pretend they don't exist and aren't affected.
-ol' 2long Right, it was you, wasn't it. Credit goes to 2long. Along with a lot of other credits. A screen full of credits. And 2L is right. It makes the WS think, since it is totally true and it is not a DJ.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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Shrek....because DH said she had disgusting teeth...I told my friends that, it got around to "ogre"...then ..."shrek"...I hardly ever refer to her by name.
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because
they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come
along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
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I referred to the OW as "Little Miss Dow Corning" because I learned that she had gotten breast implants on her anorectic little body. I only used it once in my STBXH's presence, in couples counseling. But that's how I think of her.
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PBR - Psycho Babble Rabbit. The OW in our case claimed 3 false preggers. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> She even claimed to know the sex of the fetus at 6 weeks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Then the nutso decided on the third lie to ask for $$ to cover her supposed medical insurance for pre-natal care. What she forgot to figure in was that one has t/b pregnant 1st. LOL!!! The yucky part was if it was ever true and if the WS was the father, I (the one who carried the insurance) would have had t/b the one to pay for her medical care - some dumb CA law! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Fortunately she wasn't and when I asked for the doctor's name as proof, she stopped asking for $$. LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> There are other experiences where she earned truly the name PBR. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> L.
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FROM LITTLE BRITAIN
There used to be an English sitcom about a dysfunctional family who lived in Liverpool where the father had an OW his adult children called Li-Lo Lil For the uninitiated a Li-Lo is an air mattress used for camping and other more desperate purposes.
Prince Charles OW Camilla Parker-Bowles was known to her enemies as the Rotweiler
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Ours is Slutwyche for the OW as I ran into her not long after at Lutwyche shopping centre.
BS female 43 years old
FWS 47 years old
Married 1986
Two boys - 18 and 15
Affairs discovered 23rd July 2006
(4 mth A was 2 years into marriage
recent 2 year + A)
FWS 100% NC
Marriage Builders works
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I thought this site is intended to be helpful to WS's as well as BS's. It is, after all, a Marriage Builder's site. Some OP's may find this thread as a reason NOT to participate and build their marriage. Is there ANY good that may come from a thread of this nature? Is the laughter that may come at someone else's heartache really that funny?
Perhaps some things are better unspoken in certain circles?
JMHO...SD SD, As a FWS all I can say is it's sort of par for the course. Just like the FBS has names for the FOP, many of us, at one point, had our own names for them. Now that my FOM is insignificant he isn't worth a name or space in my brain for that matter. People here know their SO's fit right in with whatever they are calling the OP. The title of this thread would clue a person in as to what they are about to read. IMO, if a FWS doesn't think they can handle what is being discussed they should simply pass it up. My H use to have 2 nicknames for my FOM, Headcase and Stupid F. Now that the FOM has become insignificant to my H he doesn't call him names. I would imagine his W has or had a nickname for me, but personally I don't really care because I know I am not the person I was during my A. I also hope for their sake and marriage that I have become insignificant to them just like he is to us.
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WHen I found out her last name, I caller her musta effed and the first threee letters of the city she amd STBXH live in as they just happen to be the same letters. lol And her last name does started with Musta.
I refuse to call her by name. Except in legal documents. But in emails she is Ditchpig or "your mistress" in conversations. Or sometimes "the Thing". Mostly just DP4 to be exact. In honour of the fact she is the 4th one. One before I met my STBXH, also known as the Dork or Dumba$$.
My DD calls her 'evil married woman'. Yet we recently found out that she has never been married. So evil woman it is.
I mean what woman isn't sure of the paternity of her child? BLECH! What HUMAN tells my DD that the Dork never loved DD or ME as much as he loves her?
I have no respect or understanding of the depths or THEIR depravity and selfishness.
BS-58/XH48
D final Dec31/07
Long hard road & at peace now
Unrepentant serial cheater living with DP4 for 4yrs
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Franky for 4 years now- wife has suited me just fine...
Some of you are better than this...
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Gross TNPP.
As if it is appropriate for people to acknowledge an OP as a potential SPOUSE.
Maybe they could call themselves expendable?
Obviously you do.
Do you think a wistress has any cred on the subject or on related ethics?
I think it's pefectly ethical to call the terrorist attacking your family names...not at all ethical to BE that terrorist or try to insult the offended party for BEING offended.
There really is no statute of limition on foggy thinking is there?
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare
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