I have been lurking here for a while and wanted to tell my story and get advice.
I have been married for almost 10 years with no kids. My husband has been at his job for about 14 yearts. He has worked with OW and they became really good friends. About 2 years ago our marriage hit some bumpe and I started to gain a lot of weight. We were fighting and talking about divorce but my WH says he didn't go through with divorce because he didn't want to hurt me. WE tried working on things but at the same time his co-worker came to him and said thier marraige was going down hill and off the affair started (about a year ago). After a while I suspected and confronted him 2 times with denials both times. We were best friends with these people - even took trips together during thier affair.

Fast forwd to 2/17 where we are at a party for thier work people at the OW's house nad the OW's sppuse catches them kissing in the basement. All ****** breaks loose and my husband tells the truth about everything-they have been having an affair and they have pledged thier love to each other but know they can't be together because of her kids.

It's been 7 weeks and we have been through some really dark days. We are now at a point where we are talking more and have agreed to try to work it out. My challenge is that my husband doesn't want to leave his job becuase even though he has moved away from her area he is "comforted" going there just knowing she is there. He says "he loves me but isn't in love with me" and has no passion left for me.

He been good with NC but if he feels that way about being there I think he needs to get another job. Also-today he arranged a lunch for someone leaving the company and OW was going to stay behind but thier boss insisted she go-at leat he told me and said he tried to get out of it but there was no way he could since he arrnaged it.

My question is do you thinkwe stand a chacne at R with him beong at the same workplace as her?

Thanks for listening and God Bless you all!

Debbi

Simply put. No. No contact is the ONLY way to see that an affair ends, and stays ended.

Purchase and read "Surviving an Affair". It will tell you about the dynamics of an affair, and how it is an addiction. It is not love, because it is a relationship founded on lies and deceit. But it "feels" like love to the affairees.

You may want to consider moving your post over to General Questions II forum, as it is a lot busier, and your thread will get more attention. It is pretty painful to many of the BS's to hang out here in JFO.

Best wishes,
SD