Interesting, how in one's thoughts and desires one can fool oneself. Is there a type of soulmate EA, that is different than "regular" EAs. What if that OM is an ex partner? Someone, who shared your life many years ago? Someone, in who's arms you went to sleep for many years...10 years...12 years. Someone you know like you know yourself? Someone, with whom you share so many memories? Someone you left, but never forgot, never stopped to love?

I have read books and forums, tried to understand my H's A. We have worked through recovery. It was difficult and hard. I share my life now with my H, and I want it that way.

But my thoughts and feelings are playing tricks on me. I don't see the OM. I don't talk to him. We live on different sides of the world. There is a grey zone, where my mind says, it is ok to remember the OM. Remember his kiss, his embrace, his smile. He is a part of my past, so that must be ok, right? NO! I miss him, I love him. But I don't want to miss him. Full blown EA according to Harley. But I don't act on it. Where do you become the WW? When you don't stop the thoughts? Or when you act on them?

I say when you act on them. I also say if you tell your H what you are feeling instead of the OM that it will help kill the fantasy and may help you H realize that his M is in trouble and you all can fix it together. It is not easy but you have to decided if it is worth it.

1. Your H's A has made you think back to a happy time when you were wanted. Shoot, the past is going to look great from where you are now.
2. You left the other person for probably a very good reason that isn't clear to you right now because you're not thinking straight.
3. Yes, it's an EA because it's occupying time and mind space which should be occupied by your H.
4. No, he's not your "soulmate". A fantasy and rosy memories are always going to look better than reality, especially the reality after your spouse's A.
5. I would guess you're suffering from mild depression.