I am trying Plan A. But the only contact between us is an occasional phone call. I email her at least once a week, but she has yet to reply. I ask her how her day was and if she has had any luck finding a job or an apartment. I have let her know that I and several friends are praying for her. I say I love you at the end of phone calls. I also have a Bible study and prayer time with the kids every night. Sometimes she is in the room during the call.

I sent her a gift for Mother's Day. It should get there by Friday. Don't worry it's not something she can easily pawn.

Any other suggestions? I am can not afford to visit at this time. I am hoping to make it there by the end of this month or early in June. My birthday is the first week of June and I would like to see the kids for my birthday.

Hi BH... so sorry you are here - but, you have made a very wise decision in posting on this board. The wealth of information you will receive is priceless... Personal growth is what it is all about.... really. Saving your marriage is just a byproduct of that.

When your WS sees the new and improved you -- it normally knocks their socks off -- if not ? Their lose, your gain.

I, too had to Plan A with my WH driving a truck and never, ever home. I used the cell phone...

I love yous were not just limited to the end of the call. I learned how to talk about him in a very respectful and admiring way.

Constantly ~~ You are so good at this or that. Always finding things to praise him about. As, at this point in our marriage, I truly did believe this (perhaps - duh, too late) I gave him TONS of admiration and respect and attention... tons.... my conversations were about him.

And, yes, this was all new to me... and he did notice the huge change in my attitude... Plan A

I will work on the admiring part. It's hard when she does not want to work on us. She also is dropping out of school. She was supossed to start at the local university next Monday.

One thing I can bring up is being proud of the fact she has started aggresivelly homeschooling our kids. The kids are about a year behind in their schooling.