My wife and I have been together for 6 years, we are about to have our 2 year wedding anniversary. Last week I found out that she has been talking to the guy upstairs. I found out after suspecting something going on. I put a key logger on her computer and found her telling him that she "loved him so much, today was so nice, it gets better and better with you, I can’t wait till you come home to me, soon baby soon". We just moved to this place 2 months ago. Before we moved we had some little problems, lack of affection by me and not so much into sex due to being tired. I would work from 6am to 330pm and drive in LA traffic for 3 hours each day, make dinner then run my own company. I would go to bed at 11pm get at 4 am for the last 3 years. Yes I should have made time for her but when she was confronted on this she ran. She said she had a connection not love and didn’t know what to do. I told I wanted to make things work for us but she is unsure because of my actions in the past. A little background on us, we got together when she was married although separated while talking online. She has been married 3 times each time ending do to cheating on her part. She does this exact pattern where I think she loves the excitement of the act of getting caught and when she does she runs away from it till it blows over and the guy she is in a relationship runs off. All her exs ran I am not. I love her and want her back. She tells me she wants time to think. What should I do? She has been thinking for over 1 week, I know she still see the guy upstairs, she swore on her sons life they haven’t had any intimate relations it just good conversation. Like I said I love her and want this to work but if I am the only one who is trying how do I get her to try? Play hard to get? Ignore her? Have a sit down? She has never really opened up to me about how she feels, just little things and I truly believe she has some deep skeletons in her closet that she wants to talk about but is scared. What do I do???
What to do????

Sadly, this is another situation where the story of the Scorpion and the Frog immediately comes to mind.

If she's ended three previous Ms because of infidelity on her part, why do you think she won't do it this time?

I also think she's lying to you about not being intimate with the guy upstairs. So she's dishonest, deceitful and adulterous. Love is not enough for an M to work - you also need trust and commitment. Clearly those are lacking on her part.

My suggestion would be to walk away as quickly as possible. Why would you want to remain M'd to someone like that?

Please don't come back to MiM's question with "but I love her". You love the "image" you have of her. The real her has committed adultery in three OTHER marriages and is committing adultery in this marriage as well. I don't know what data you would need to understand that her actions have little to do with you and a lot to do with her.

IF you really decide to remain in this marriage and she commits to rebuilding it, the first thing you need to understand is WHO SHE IS and very likely who she WILL BE unless she undergoes some serious counseling.

Please think about this.

God Bless,

JL