I'm a first time poster and I am in desperate need for advice. My husband and I have been married for less than a year, but have been together for 3 years. We have a 1 year old, and I am currently 6 mos pregnant. This week, he told me of a situation at work, (he is a contractor that visits different job sites every day) where a woman sent him a secret admirer note w/ her # attached. He said he tore it up and threw it away. Something told me to do some digging. I found a strange # saved in his cell contacts, under a male name mind you, so I called it. Under some freak circumstance, when I called it, it threw me right into this girl's voicemails. I heard my husband leave 2 messages for her. The first said ''I'm very flattered, and think you are a sexy sexy beautiful beautiful woman, and would love to hear from you, give me a call.'' He told me he never laid eyes on the woman. If he didn't then how can she be ''sexy/beautiful''? The 2nd message said, hey I'm working at your offices again today, give me a call back I'll be in the area. I ended up getting ahold of this girl, she was very calm with me but said that she was angry, b/c during their last conversation, she wanted to go get a drink. He said he couldn't because he had something to do with his daughter. *actually he had a movie date with me* The woman asks about 'the mother', and my husband said, oh the mother lives with me. She asked if he was married, and she claims that my husband replied ''uhh...no well I'm kinda stuck in a situation right now, trying to get out of it'' When I confronted him he said he never said that, but he did admit to calling her, but said he definitely told her he was married during their last convo. My question is, why would he have even brought up the situation to me in the first place? Did he want to get caught? Wouldn't he have hid it completely from me if he was trying to start a fling with her? But then again, why would he compliment another woman, call her/speak to her twice, while I'm pregnant, when he says he loves me and wants to be with me forever? Do you think the other woman made some parts up b/c she wanted to save face and get revenge in a sense? She seemed pretty bitter that he toyed with her. He said his reasons were that he was flattered and liked the attention she gave him. God knows I give him attention, which he agrees that I do. Sorry if this is very long. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm still in a state of shock, so if it appears I left out any info on what happened let me know and I will add it.

bela

Women can be devious, spiteful and bitter when dealing with a married man that they may or may not really want. But the bottom line is they both may have been lying. Him, to get more attention and perhasp persue her further. Her, because she wants to make you upset if you arn't already. One thing I've learned is NEVER EVER call the OW. I take it up with him, give him enough rope to hang himself and save face for yourself. I'd never let another women see me not incontrol of my husband/marriage. That gives them gratification and makes them feel like they have the upper hand. And if you have to call the number to confirm that it is another women, never let her know who you are, play like the sister or anyone but the wife. I'd keep a close watch out on things but this can be worked out if he's willing to be completly honest. Grab hold of the problem before it spends out of control and leads to you know what.

Sorry, but I don't believe your husband. He proved himself guilty by saving her number and calling her. No matter what his story is, you have caught him redhanded.

I suggest counseling to figure out why he would take a chance in losing his family over something like this, ESPECIALLY since you've only been married a year.

I"m so sorry to hear of your situation..stay strong and take care of yourself..you will be in my prayers

Bela,

I’m very sorry that you have to find yourself here under these conditions.

Welcome to MB’rs.

Your H sounds like he is in a full blown A.

Post this same situation with as much background information as possible on GQ2. There is much more traffic over there and you’ll get more attention there.

Read all of the Harley’s free stuff on their website.

Before any more confrontation with your H, you have to read all you can and become educated.

In your follow up post on GQ2, please indicate if you have any history of infidelity with this man.

Keep your chin up and take good care of your personal health! That’s paramount to maintaining your strength and working through all of this.

Do a search on MB forums for “snooping”. Read about all that stuff too.

Best regards,