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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Archived - Read Only Just Found Out... need advice feel like I am losing it

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need advice feel like I am losing it #1877704 05/17/07 09:04 AM
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 4 New Jersey L leftoutinthecold Junior Member
leftoutinthecold Junior Member L Joined: May 2007 Posts: 4 New Jersey	I found out 3wks ago that my husband of 17yrs was seeing someone else he swore to me he would end it when I confronted him...so we stayed togeher. I searched his cell records and found that he was lying and was still at it, when i confronted him again he said he loves this ow and not me I threw him out (hope that was the right thing to do) and called his boss to inform her and spoke to him mom. I am so sad for myself and my 2 kids but all he will talk about is seperation of funds and how he loves this other women who is also married. What do i do next I am so sick i can barely function.

Re: need advice feel like I am losing it leftoutinthecold #1877705 05/17/07 09:50 AM
Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 805 S SaturnRising Member
SaturnRising Member S Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 805	Your situation is very sad, but not unique and you are not alone! Your first step is to read about "Plan A and Plan B" here in the forum and also in the Q & A section. Here is a link: How to survive infidelity Your second step is to locate the other woman's husband and expose the affair to him. This will be the beginning of the end of the affair: adultery thrives in secrecy. Shed light on your husband's behavior and he will start to turn around. The third step is to keep posting here. Lots of people here can help you with specific advice or give you a "boost" on days that seem really bad. I would move your thread to the "General Questions II" board because that one gets the most traffic and you'll get more responses. Hang in there; you can do this! ~Saturn Me: 45 Him: 47 married 23 years Two wonderful sons D-day for my EA: 8/15/04 D-day for his PAs: 8/16/06

Re: need advice feel like I am losing it SaturnRising #1877706 05/17/07 11:22 AM
Joined: Oct 2000 Posts: 35,996 Shrek's Swamp P Pepperband Member
Pepperband Member P Joined: Oct 2000 Posts: 35,996 Shrek's Swamp	come over to GQII like Saturn suggested... more traffic LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders

Re: need advice feel like I am losing it SaturnRising #1877707 05/17/07 07:12 PM
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 4 New Jersey L leftoutinthecold Junior Member
leftoutinthecold Junior Member L Joined: May 2007 Posts: 4 New Jersey	Forget about WH boss they caved in said they both agreed to have no contact at work, his boss told him he should take the higher road and go back to the union hall for another job now that everyone knows but he said he wouldn't leave unless they fired him. To make matters worse he is working as a carpenter in a low income housing facility and OW lives there with her kids and husband. My WH doesn't even care that the husband is right there and evryone knows this isn't going to work I have lost him.

Re: need advice feel like I am losing it leftoutinthecold #1877708 05/18/07 09:45 AM
Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 805 S SaturnRising Member
SaturnRising Member S Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 805	((((Hugs)))) No, you are just one month into this. DO NOT GIVE UP. Did you read about Plan A and B? Affairs die. You are his WIFE. You have so much power; do not crumple. Go back to GQII, and tell your story. You can do this. Blessings, ~Saturn Me: 45 Him: 47 married 23 years Two wonderful sons D-day for my EA: 8/15/04 D-day for his PAs: 8/16/06

Re: need advice feel like I am losing it SaturnRising #1877709 05/18/07 11:40 AM
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 San Diego County B believer Member
believer Member B Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 San Diego County	Be sure to let her husband know, and also his boss. Affairs always end. All the stuff he tells you is just the typical things that a cheater tells his partner. When you see that all of this is predictable, you may feel a bit better. Hang in there.

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