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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620
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Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620 |
Your WW and she is wayward (At least an EA) is trying to set up her excuses for leaving the M and pursuing OM (his wife will be the last to understand and know (sounds as if she is in denial) if you don't educate her about EA's).
I would stand strong and tall without being ugly and stick to her needing to transfer. I would tell the OM's wife and supply any and all informaiton needed to convince her of the inappropriateness of your WW and OM's behaviors along with something from Harley regarding emotional affairs.
Do you have a daughter and if so what age?
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 14 |
So my plan is to hold my ground. Don't email or respond to nasty comments. Just say, I'm sorry that you are angry and unhappy, but I believe that in order for us to recover and move forward, you will need to find another job. I'm here for you if you decide to make the move to find another job.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819 |
So my plan is to hold my ground. Don't email or respond to nasty comments. Just say, I'm sorry that you are angry and unhappy, but I believe that in order for us to recover and move forward, you will need to find another job. I'm here for you if you decide to make the move to find another job. Yep. You can't reason with a WS. If you give in on the job transfer, you will be enabling the affair to continue. I did that, and it cost me. Don't make the same mistake.
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 14 |
hopeandpray, my daughter is five years old. My WW and I have been able to keep most of this from her, but last night my WW was obviously upset and took some of it out on her. Nothing abusive, just short tempered, etc . . .
Since D-Day we have taken a number of vacations and only last weekend we went to an indoor waterpark and outdoor amusement park. So we haven't been allowing this situation to overwhelm our daughter or our lives. Occassionally it does, but we've been "good sports".
I scheduled a meeting with SH for tomorrow, I'm just concerned about tonight.
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 90
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 90 |
TH- It is totally appropriate for you to keep this from your DD, however, your WW is also hiding from herself. You have to stand firm. At this point, you are the only one fighting for your marriage. Study MB and do what is right.
The rumors of my death were greatlly exagerated. MT
Me: 43 BS
S: 44 WW
2DS-19, 17
Separated 3/1
Dday- 5/4
NC-5/7
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 14 |
Thought I'd give a quick update. I stood strong, no LBs. Wife apologized for saying she hated me, but added that I owed her an apology for making her make this choice. She said that I don't care about her feelings. I told her that everything I do and have done has been to save our marriage. She said, "it's just making it worse".
Oh well, in the end she said that she did not withdraw her application for a transfer. There is no guarantee that she will get the job, but it's a start.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620 |
Wife apologized for saying she hated me, but added that I owed her an apology for making her make this choice. She said that I don't care about her feelings You did not make her make any choice. She created this problem by having an affair with a man with whom she worked, period. This is simply a result. And, no I don't care about your feelings as they relate to the intruder in our marriage, only our family. Those feelings I care deeply about. Lastly, way to stand your ground.
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 90
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 90 |
She said, "it's just making it worse". How can it get worse than an A?! There is no going back. This is not a forgive and forget situation. When you finally deal with the A and the issues that caused it, things will get much worse than they are now. I don't think your WW is ready for this. You need to be patient and stay as positive as you can.
The rumors of my death were greatlly exagerated. MT
Me: 43 BS
S: 44 WW
2DS-19, 17
Separated 3/1
Dday- 5/4
NC-5/7
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