Does anyone have any input on divorce mediation? Unfortunately, I am going down the dark road of divorce. My husband filed last week.

I think mediation is great if you are working with someone who is working cooperatively and not a "power over" person.
Alot depends on what's at stake, are there kids, alimony etc.

I truly believe in mediation and it is a far cheaper, more cordial way to a divorce.

I am being forced into mediation since we are at a mexican standoff.

She took all of the assets out of the house and I want my fair share, but she's spent it all.

I want the house sold and neither one of us gets it.

WW7,

Divorce mediation is a better alternative to a lawsuit, especially when kids are involved. You should have an attorney, however, from the get-go, and one who supports your decision to try mediation. Going to court becomes your fallback position. For children, it gives the parents the opportunity to set a framework (schedules, finances, etc.) to raise the children. If you go to Court, then someone else decides it. For assets, the rule of thumb is 50-50. It shouldn't be necessary to deplete a chunk of the family equity to come to the 50-50 conclusion.

From what I've seen, very few cases actually go to trial in my state. That means that many divorcing couples expend a lot of money on lawyer fees just to get to the eve of trial and settle the custody/financial issues. Wouldn't it be better to try and resolve those issues from the start, especially since any positive feelings between the H and W will be destroyed by litigation?

Good luck,

Giles

Hello ww,

I did Mediation for my divorce.There was a point where the process devolved into a horrible mess with each of us getting our own respective lawyers and getting ready for battle but that was a huge wakeup call and we got back on track thankfully.Just thinking back to that time makes me shudder.

If you both can be fair about dividing up assets and the home,cars,planiing out parenting time,etc.then it's the best way to go in my opinion.You do need to be cautious and protect yourself but it can be done if you both work at it together.You also need to be aware that neither party may get exactly everything they hope for but that's the way it is thru D.There's just no way to have it all on either side.You have to let go of some things in order to keep the peace.

In my case,it was rather cheap to go thru mediation as opposed to a full D process with many lawyers,trial,etc.We handled most of it ourselves and had a mediation lawyer who helped us with the legal terms and state laws,etc.and who drew up the contract as we wanted.

Good luck to you.Sorry you have to go through this.It's tough.But you can survive it!

And there are books that help you understand the options so you can prepare yourself for mediation or court.
Mom's house/dad's house has great parenting plan ideas. It helps to have an idea of what you actually want and what you can live with before you go into mediation.

Thank you for the input. We do not have any children, but we do own a business together, which makes this really hard. I got the papers last month, and our court date is in September. I am trying my hardest to reconsile, but we'll see if he still wants to go through with this. I dont want a divorce... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

With a business, unless you are both very flexible, the September date seems like a long shot.

Well it didn't work for me and the ex. We tried, but he dug his heels in. So...we waited 7 months and offered - again - the same thing we had at mediation. By this time, he wanted out badly enough (I'm sure the OW was pressuring him too) that he agreed via a 4-way conference call. We were able to get it done without going to court, but it was still very expensive.

I hope mediation can work for you.