Hi CJ,

I've read a number of your posts to others... I was just wondering (I'm too lazy to read through your old posts).

Did you remarry your FWH?

JinGA

Nevermind, CJ... I read your "when to end plan B" post...

Congratulations on finding a good man <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Cheers,
JinGA

Heehee--

Okay, I have to admit, I love you question, today of all days. Today is Father's Day and yesterday my DD17 graduated from high school so exH is in town for that.

Not only did I not remarry FWH, I chose someone who is MUCH more suited to the woman I am! On Friday, when my exH was scheduled to land here in my city, I was freaking out about how clean the house was and what to wear and should I wear makeup...it was NUTZ! Then I realized, those were all the things he used to criticize about me--I didn't clean to his specifications, I didn't dress in clothes he liked, and I don't like wearing makeup (and if I do, I wear it very naturally).

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That's when I realized something HUGE! I am married to an entirely different man!! DUH! I stopped my running around like a chicken with my head cut off, looked around, and realized that the house was fine. *I* liked it and I didn't need to please the ex anymore, I needed to please DH--and he thought it was fine too! My new DH LIKES how I dress, and he said to me, "Why don't you just wear something comfortable that you like?" so I did! I felt good all day! And finally, my new DH LIKES how I look without makeup and also like the "natural look." He thinks I look young and women with "all that makeup on" look like fake people.

Sure enough, exH showed up, and he was all energetic and loud and critical. He wanted to "go out" and at the graduation he stood up and yelled, "Sit down in front! That's my daughter up there!" Somehow, he made it all about him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Furthermore, the woman on his arm was wearing jewelry on every finger and tons of makeup--just his type! (shiver)

Sooooooo...all in one lesson I learned that not only was my exH a poor match for me and my personality type--but DH was a GOOD match! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Anways--sorry JinGA. I was single for 3 years and married a different man--and like I tell people, I am ecstatically married now!





CJ

Nothing to be sorry about, CJ! I think that's awesome!

I'd just read some of your stuff and I respect and appreciate your input - I just wanted to clarify whether your XH had come around or not - clearly NOT.

I'm glad that you have found a good man who loves you as you are - you and I sound a lot alike... (Makeup? What's makeup? Oh yeah that stuff I used to put on when my FATHER criticized me...) I wear it very occasionally and very minimally too.

My XH always preferred that til he found his GF... now he likes more makeup and less bra. He used to prefer the other way around <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Something tells me the appeal of that is somewhat "temporary"...

When I read stuff from the veterans here, I see that no matter what - I'll be OK, and there's a bright future for me, and a bright "now", even if I get a bit discouraged at times. Some folks have their WS or XS come around, some don't. But all seem to have figured *themselves* out first and moved *forward*. That's the kind of thing I need to focus on now. Whether my XH comes around or not - life goes on - and there's a good life out there <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Keep up the good work <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

JinGA