My husband and I have been married now for 8 years. Prior to us getting married, he organised a bucks night for his mate that involved a stripper (prostitute I suspect) performing oral sex on the buck, performing indecent acts in front of the crowd, and eventually raffling herself off for sexual intercourse with one of the men.
I found this out due to my husbands honesty and openness. I basically asked him why the stripper cost so much, and he told me why! I was deeply offended, left his house and refused to see him again. Somehow we got back together again.
This event has tarnished our relationship in many ways. I received counselling after the event, and the psychologist suggested I should not have to accept this behaviour, and once again it was decided I should leave. For some reason the relationship never ended.
My husband has promised me that he would never orgainse an event like this again, but if someone else organised it, he would not walk out as he doesn't think that what is happening is unacceptable behaviour. He thinks it is perfectly acceptable to attend functions like this, or to go to strip clubs for nights such as bucks nights.
Over the past 6 years, he has only attended a few bucks nights, some of which do not even involve strippers. This is an after the fact finding, as any bucks night could have the potential to be as devastatingly distasteful as the first he organised.
As a result of his organisation of the bucks night the first time, I have never been able to relax about him attending these types of events. I am not obsessive of him, and in fact, I strongly encourage his friendships with his friends, and I support his social activities, all with the exceptions of these nights.
I would welcome some advice on how to overcome the feelings I have about these nights.
