The gist of my story is OWH discovered his WW was having an A with my WH, precipitating the whole separation of both he and OW as well as my and my WH. OW and WH wanted out as fast as possible and took very little from us in terms of settlement. My SA was complete within 32 days of WH telling me that he wants a D. WH and OW moved in together right away and are now sharing an apartment. OW's 7 yo daughter lives with them, though OW and OWH share custody.

Now, the whole situation is very fresh and both myself and OWH are still reeling from it all. In my case, my son is grown and can see or talk to his dad on his own. But in OWH's case, he has to see OW every day since he picks the daughter up from school and OW picks her up after she has done work. OWH has made it clear that my WH is never to come to his house and that he doesn't want to see or hear from him. I understand this perfectly since I never want to see or hear from OW either.

BUT - here's the problem. WH and OW are desperate to make their new little family work. The are completely pushing WH on OWH. The reason being that the daughter is starting to act out now and of course they are blaming OWH (because it couldn't possibly have anything to do with ripping the girl out of her home and taking her away from her dad to watch her mom screw another man). OWH is standing his ground, though they have tricked him a couple of times. Now, WH is trying to get to him through me. He knows we communicate so he's calling me up all the time and trying to get me to "talk some sense into him". WH and OW must be the stupidest people on earth because they can't see that they have pushed us too far, nor can they see that the situation the have created is not particularly kind to a 7 year old girl. They are actually getting rather nasty. OWH is getting concerned that she might get lawyers involved and try for full custody. I am concerned because I'm being dragged into it. I will do anything I can to help OWH - he's been very kind to me through all this. But it's getting out of hand.

Has anybody dealt with a similar situation? I'm not sure how to get through to these people - all they need to do is leave us alone (me and OWH). And they need to accept that what they have done is affecting the little girl and give her time to adjust. WH ends up screaming at me - I think he is jealous of OWH and doesn't want OW talking to him. It's all turning into such a mess.

I know that in certain situations there are safe places for transferring children (like police stations or churches). These are typically used when people are violent or unable to see each other. This doesn't seem to be the case here.

With summer time, I'm sure the issues are different now. But this could be avoided during the school year as many schools offer aftercare programs and each parent can pick up the child from there. Of course, this dad wants to see his child every day - which is great - and that would not work either.

I my mind, given the newness of this situation, no court would ever get involved to intervene. And I don't believe your WH should be picking up this girl from her dad. I suggest that you gracefully exit this situation.

I am trying to exit the situation. The problem now is that WH is harassing me about it since OWH won't see or talk to him. OW is as dumb as soup and is too useless to be the mediator here. I think it comes down to WH wants to become the "dad" in their new little family, but OWH is still in his daughter's life. Therefore, according to WH, OWH is an evil manipulating ****** and I'm a stupid twit for not seeing it like that. OWH and I are still in a lot of pain from our respective separations and neither of us are really ready to deal with our respective OPs. I've tried to explain this to WH but he just thinks we're being unreasonable. It's as if they want us to all get together and play cards or something. They probably do because this, in their minds, would show the daughter that everything is hunky-dory with the new situation. Unfortunately, it is not.

Does anyone know if there are any legal implications as far as if WH were to discipline OWH's daughter? I think this may be what it is coming down to.

Last question wouldn't matter because It's Not Your Business.
Perhaps they are trying to get you and OWH together in an even sicker plot.

I look at your dates, and it is all so fresh. Take care of yourself through all of this.

Why are you even talking to this man?

Yes it is very fresh and I don't fully understand their motives. WH called my cell last night - I was in the hospital (my mom just had bypass surgery) so I couldn't talk. He said to call back on his land line - it was important. Now, I won't call his land line because (a) she might answer and (b)he's got the sickest voice-mail message naming the 3 of them and how the are so happy and in love etc. and I don't want to hear it. He says his cell gets crappy reception in the apartment and that he promises he'll be home and he'll be the only one home. So stupid me, I called (well, I got my brother to call) and naturally he wasn't home so my brother had to listen to the message. OW has been doing this to OWH as well - and he feels more obliged to call (or answer) his phone because of his daughter. It's clearly set up to hurt us but why? What is their sick plot?

Here's what I suggest: Caller ID and Caller Block. Block his calls. If he makes continual calls, start recording them and get a restraining order. If your WH calls, he'll be landing in jail.

This is ridciulous.

Ditto.

It's not him calling me that's the problem - it's when I have to call him. And I still have to call him because we are still sorting out bills and insurance and stuff. He is making it so that I have to call his obnoxious voice mail and today I called him at work and the stupid bimbo picked up.

If he doesn't find a way to communicate with me civilly, I'll just leave the bills in his name and let them get paid out of his bank account. I'm sure once I owe him some money he'll be nicer.