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Joined: Jul 2004
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Dear Dr. Harley

I arrived at this website a broken man, almost three years to the day. I was loveless, hopeless, Godless. My every assumption about God and man were smashed. It was d-day. My baby was in an affair.

By some miracle I found this site. While many other sites provided summary info - trailers for the meat of the book or course that the site was intended to help sell, the MB basic concepts provided me with a thorough resource to give me a shred of hope that I might just be able to effect the situation positively.

I read those basic concepts and many caring folks here who knew MB well helped me to apply them in my situation.

I bought "surviving an affair " ( £7.99 GBP from Amazon for anyone interested) and found it shed a little light on the details of the basic principles I had learned so very well.

Within two months I was in a rigorous plan A, I had exposed to OMs GF and the affair was being shot to pieces like tin can at a BB shoot.

By the end of 2004 my family was together and on a fairly loving vacation. God Knows we still had far to go, but the transformation was enormous. OM had become a hateful irrelevance as opposed to my Squid's "soul mate". Squid had become a frightened , regretful FWW, not a raving WS.

My kids were becoming more stable once more.

I was stronger and more confidant than in years.

My total revenue to your organization so far, Sir, I am sorry to say was only £7.99 - the price of "surviving...". * blush *

Since then, my family's life has transformed. Our home is now a box filled with people who love each other very much and who have tools to handle issues.

We are happy, yet hopeful of even more yield from our application of MB in our marriage in future.

In the last 3 years I bought "buyers, renters and freeloaders", "lovebusters" and " his needs / her needs" also from Amazon. The extra cost of these was approximately £30. Once again they shed more light on principles already generously explained on your website in basic principles and Q&A.

I sit here a few days short of the three year anniversary of D-day with an enviable marriage, great self confidence and a toolkit of life skills that cost me, in total £37.99 to MB.

I could cry in gratitude sir. My studies have led me to be asked by my pastor to offer a marrigebuilding course for our community via our little church. What a turnaround for that broken man who first came to you three years ago !

I wanted to tell you my most heartfelt "thank you" for your care in sharing so much with hurting people free of charge. I thank you for rescuing my marriage and my life by proxy.

And I offer up a prayer of thanks for you, and Marriagebuilders in the hope that you may long continue to support us all.

And I apologize for my contributing only £37.99 in return for all this wonderful blessing ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

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BP*

I'd like to thank you for posting this story of success with and all your other posts. As someone still in the despair of early Plan A they serve as brilliant encouragement and inspiration. I don't want to appear sycophantic but your continued contribution to these boards is very helpful to me and I'm sure many others. I don't think I would have bought the Harley books without reading your posts. I specifically came to these boards to find people who had been successful applying the advice they contain. I just hope my experience turns out as well as yours has done.

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awesome post Bob.

Your story is amazing.


Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids.

Plan A Thread
Plan B Thread
Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Bob,

How can I find a copy of your journey on here and read it?

Thanks, SG


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Since then, my family's life has transformed. Our home is now a box filled with people who love each other very much and who have tools to handle issues.

We are happy, yet hopeful of even more yield from our application of MB in our marriage in future.

Your story of success and, in particular, this quote is inspirational. Thank you for this post and your continued contributions to this community.


"You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one." Thoreau
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Bob,

How can I find a copy of your journey on here and read it?

Thanks, SG

Hi SG !

I put much of my story in the format of the phases we went through and the wonderful help I got.

Click here for my toolkit.

You may want to make a pot of coffee and set some time aside to read <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

All blessings


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Bob,

Lovely letter! I wanted to take this opportunity to thank YOU. Your toolkit has been much help to me.

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BobPure*. Just wanted to say what an inspiration and help you are to people on here.
I don't know if my M is going to survive but I know that thanks to the likes of you, BigKahuna, Melodylane and others on here my (F?)WW has maintained NC for 8 weeks, we are still living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed. I am pretty sure that without the help of guys such as yourself on here my marriage would now be over.
Thanks again and give Squid a hug from me


Me - BH 42
FWW 40
DD 12
D-day 14th April 07
NC broken several times
False recovery until 14th July 07
NC finally established 14th July 07
OM reappears Aug 08. WW moves in with OM Nov 08. Now in Plan B

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=3228651&page=0&fpart=all&vc=1
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Amen, Amen, Amen.

I'm crying right now.

Dr. Harley... your MB principles have saved and shaped my marriage and my life. I am a stronger, wiser, more loving, humble and grateful human being due to the guidance of your principles and the blessed posters on your website. I am a FWW, and I don't think there are words to describe how much MB has affected my life, both emotionally and spiritually. THANK YOU. You are a very special and important person in this world.


Quote
My studies have led me to be asked by my pastor to offer a marrigebuilding course for our community via our little church. What a turnaround for that broken man who first came to you three years ago !

Bob, congratulations! This is wonderful news. Your community is truly blessed to have you, as are we.

Much respect,

Katie Mae


Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)

So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...

"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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b0b:

You lucky dog you!

Only 37.99! Even at current exchange rates, that's pretty good!

I will say that my fee for the Harleys MB experience was much greater:

HNHN
SAA
LoveBusters

and Then:

The Marriage Builders' Weekend.

But compared to what I would have lost?

Priceless!

I have even bought 10 extra copies of HNHN, and pass them on to clients, when I see the need.

Time to buy some more!

My wife looked at over 30 different websites, and she found this one first. All the others paled in comparision to the information offered and the information available with a mouseclick.

Thank you once again Dr. Harley!

LG

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Bob, your post brought tears to my eyes. What I have invested in Harley in exchange for a happy, fulfilling marriage that I thank God for every day:

Surviving an Affair $12.00

HisNeeds, Her Needs, $13.00

Buyers, Renters and FREELOADERS: FREE from Dr. Harley

Fall in Love, Stay in Love: FREE from Dr. Harley

Lovebusters: $15.00

DVD of the Basics: $9.00

Shipping on most was around $3.00 for priority mail. One time I didn't get my book in a weeks time and out of the blue I got an apologetic phone call from someone at MB named "Ella" who had misplaced my order. She overnighted it at no cost to me.

I can honestly say that MB has changed my life in a dramatic way. What a miracle it is for ME to have such a fulfilling marriage. Having a great marriage has improved the QUALITY of my life. And I got this for under $50.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Bob.... I came aboard during your darkest days sir....I recall your incredible strength while you were thinking how weak you were....although you and I took very different paths I am glad to hear you're in such good shape..... your post regarding BS forgiving themselves was one that taught me much.

Best of luck to you my old friend...


Me BS - 44
FWW- 42
EA for 4 years with fellow employee
became PA in Jan 04 - I knew of this one.
Seperated/ Divorced July 03
2 sons 14 & 12
D Day -6/26/04- PA in 1998 for about 1 year- I had NO idea.
recovery and reconciliation began 6/27/04

Remarried 2/18/06

My story?? Click below.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=129980&Number=1575914
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Oh come on guys!!!! He's only in it for the money you know. It's "just a business"! LOL.

My investment is a little more I think. I've brought all Dr Harley's books and the 2 DVD's plus the MB Home Study Course. They even send out emails occasionally asking how we are going (a Love Bank inventory)

Given we are also in Australia, the postage is a little pricey so I suppose, absolute outside, I have invested $400 on Dr Harley's materials - in over 2 years. Yep. Dr Harley must so be getting rich off me.

When I came to MB it was in dispair - my wife was home but we were really struggling. I didn't think we would make it. Dr Harley's words and knowledge, all available FREE on this web site were like water flowing from the throne of God. It was the turning point.

MrsK and I love each other. Our family is intact. This was impossible without Dr Harley and God.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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bOb,

So happy for you and your family! Your success story is invaluable reading for all newbies(and some vets also).


Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle

You believe easily what you hope for ernestly

Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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SMOMW we ate some of the same dirt in 04, thats true enough.

Recovery takes many forms IME. You emerged from dark times with your dignity and peace of mind. That is personal recovery and I hav eno doubts you are in an improving marriage too.

* Cymanca
Same with you, friend. Divorced you may be, but bowed you are certainly not. Pushing against the rock can sometimes mak eus stronge rthan if it moved more easily.


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