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I'm doing good. WH has called 5 times in last hour and I will not answer. DD25 called to say that he wants me to come to where he is now, then go on that international trip with him. I said that I will not talk about it until conditions are met.
Some days I'm just not sure that I want it anymore. I guess it's part of that mood of the week thing that I have going on here. Who knows what next week will bring....
Knitgirl
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Good job. Don't answer the phone. Go out with a friend, go on a walk, post here, do something to entertain yourself. Stay dark.
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Joined: May 2007
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Believer,
Thanks so much for the encouragement and support. He called again but I'm not answering. He actually hates when I do that, so he is probably pretty po'd but that's OK.
Knitgirl
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Let him get PO'd. See he needs his Knitgirl fix. Don't give it to him. It is really essential to go very dark. Just think of it as helping the OW everytime you talk to him. Do something to keep busy. Cleaning the toilets works.
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OK, so today I get an email following a voice mail that he left last night.
"I told you last night that you need to call me. I think that is the least that you could do if you really want to be with me. YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING OF ME AS SOME TEXT BOOK BECAUSE NO ONE CAN TELL ME HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU
AND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.I LOVE YOU AND THATS THE WAY IT IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE AND I WANT TO GROW VERY OLD WITH YOU. SO YOU NEED TO CALL ME. LOVE YOU FOREVER WITH ALL MY HEART"
He's referring to SAA which he hasn't read, but I've told him about it. My conditions were that he call the OP in front of me (she lives in another state) and tell her it's over. So far he refuses to do it. I am doing the right thing, am I not??? I'm getting confused, so someone please weigh in here for me.
Knitgirl
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Man. All caps? HOW ANNOYING.
You're doing the right thing. Stay strong. You're doing very well. I like your chances.
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SD,
Yes, part all caps anyway. Like screaming at me. I know he's frustrated because I will not respond. I guess this means that I have some chance, but I sure hope that I'm handling this the right way.
Knitgirl
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Be confident that you are.
If you can't be, think about the alternatives. Would you want to live that way?
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Knitgirl -
What he is saying is BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Ignore it.
He knows what he needs to do.
My WH tried to move back into our home, and still had a love nest with the OW. He told me the same BABBLE - that he loved me and if I loved him and wanted the marriage to work, I needed to accept the OW.
You really need to block his email. Even the fact that you are only reading it is messing with your head. You need to get into a position where you don't hear from him, and he doesn't hear from you UNTIL the OW is out of the picture forever.
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Knitgirl,
I second and third what guy smiley(sd) and believer are telling you. ACTIONS (notice the caps) are what you need. It's just a lot of fluff when their talkin'.
I followed Plan B to a tee this last time out, and PWC made the hard decisions, without coaxing from me. He's going to attempt to draw you back into the web, where you are immobilized. Block those mails. Don't listen, LOOK, if he's not acting right, stay away, because you will just get more of the same. HE IS TEXTBOOK...
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Thanks all. Well, here is today's news - he told DD25 that he will do what I ask. I don't have an intermediary, so he told her. How do we know when they are serious about it? Is he saying this just so I will talk to him?
Can someone who went through this tell me how to know if he is serious or not???
Knitgirl
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Might be serious, might not. If he is interested in recovering the marriage, he will unload the OW. If I were you, I would stay dark. You DID put the conditions of recovery in the Plan B letter, right?
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