HI gang,
I am back. I tried all of the Love Buster's stuff and have worked on my marriage. I have and now meeting all of my wife's needs however I am still feeling alone, busted and disgusted. I know that I don't need to be with this person. I think I have stayed for so long that I am afraid of what will happen if I leave. I know that she can't financially support herself and that worries me. I know that she doesn't have many options. I have unfornately taken care of everything that she needs and now she is dependant on me. I know that I care about her or I would have left a long time ago. I WANT to leave, however I also WANT to make sure that she is okay if I leave.
Now, was has really prompted this move is that we got into an arguement and she called me the "N" word. She is white and I am black. I was shocked and first and she offered a lame excuse for saying it. I was really upset because she called me this word out of anger. I forgave her and then in an arguement, she called me that again. I don't use this word, nor do I tolerate anyone around me using this word. This incident happened over 4 months ago and it is still on my heart and mind. I fell like she has no respect for me as a person or a man. Yeah, I have cheated on her and she on me, but I would never do something of this extent. I have sought conseling and my decision is final, I can't stay with someone that treats me in this manner. She makes other comments like calling me a black ******, and she also refers to mexican americans as "[censored]". We have kids and I don't want them rasised with these word in their vocabulary. Already, my daughter is who is 5, is making comments about color of skin. I was taught that this doesn't matter.
I know your questions now are, have I talked to her about this. Yes, Yes ,Yes. Her remarks are that I am over reacting. She then says well black people say it why can't I. I then respond by saying, I don't use the word. Who cares about anyone else. I know that she knows how I feel and yet she continues. I don't want my children rasied this way. I am hurt that when she looks at me, she doesn't see a man, but she sees a black man.
You thoughts?
