HI gang,

I am back. I tried all of the Love Buster's stuff and have worked on my marriage. I have and now meeting all of my wife's needs however I am still feeling alone, busted and disgusted. I know that I don't need to be with this person. I think I have stayed for so long that I am afraid of what will happen if I leave. I know that she can't financially support herself and that worries me. I know that she doesn't have many options. I have unfornately taken care of everything that she needs and now she is dependant on me. I know that I care about her or I would have left a long time ago. I WANT to leave, however I also WANT to make sure that she is okay if I leave.

Now, was has really prompted this move is that we got into an arguement and she called me the "N" word. She is white and I am black. I was shocked and first and she offered a lame excuse for saying it. I was really upset because she called me this word out of anger. I forgave her and then in an arguement, she called me that again. I don't use this word, nor do I tolerate anyone around me using this word. This incident happened over 4 months ago and it is still on my heart and mind. I fell like she has no respect for me as a person or a man. Yeah, I have cheated on her and she on me, but I would never do something of this extent. I have sought conseling and my decision is final, I can't stay with someone that treats me in this manner. She makes other comments like calling me a black ******, and she also refers to mexican americans as "[censored]". We have kids and I don't want them rasised with these word in their vocabulary. Already, my daughter is who is 5, is making comments about color of skin. I was taught that this doesn't matter.

I know your questions now are, have I talked to her about this. Yes, Yes ,Yes. Her remarks are that I am over reacting. She then says well black people say it why can't I. I then respond by saying, I don't use the word. Who cares about anyone else. I know that she knows how I feel and yet she continues. I don't want my children rasied this way. I am hurt that when she looks at me, she doesn't see a man, but she sees a black man.

You thoughts?

It sounds like you've made up your mind. I'd document all the occasions that she's made racial slurs, consult an attorney, file for divorce and sole custody of your children. I'm sure a judge would be sympathetic to you versus having biracial kids raised by a bigoted parent.

JMO

JinGA