I am standing by the fax machine waiting for the contract for my New House!!

I will close no later than Aug 15th!! Whoo Hoo!

Pool party on the 18th at my place!

Congratulations you homeowning goddess you!! Have a GREAT weekend.

OMG! You new-house-owner-goddess YOU!

Congratulations!

Now its really time to daydream...cut the tree down...paint? new furniture? any other fun stuff?

Do you get to take DD by to see it? She will FLIP over the pool! So will DSS!

Thanks! I am VERY excited! I still can't believe it's going to happen!

I haven't told the kids yet,,,,am going to tell them and take them by to see it this weekend. It's going to be a bit of a shock - - reality really setting in.

My mom is already getting in the planning mode on the furniture! Good thing about it is that I dont' HAVE to do anything immediately. It is immaculate, so I can move right in and then take time to think about the decorating, etc.

I will "relax", the day I have the key in my hand!! Til then, am TRYING to be cautiously excited,,,as if there is such a thing!

My BIGGEST concern, and I know it's a Plan B no, no,,,,,,,but is what Drac may try to do. He can't stop me, WON'T stop me. As the D isn't settled yet, I am going to have some concern til everything is final. Also, I am going to expect some major Plan B push back so am trying to think in terms of being "prepared".

But, for tonight, I have a bottle of champange chilling and will soak in a HUGE bubble bath later and celebrate being a Home Owner Goddess!!

So, who is bringing what to the pool party? Where's BC? I KNOW he'll have the hook up on the drinks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi all,

I've been following your thread Bugs, and I want to say that I'm impressed at how far you've come. I can't add anything constructive since I'm new here and struggling myself, but I've learned alot from you. Thanks.

Mimi - Do you have a thread around here? I would like to know more about your experience. It sounds like you are in recovery??

PrincessMeg - I read your "Should have been the MB way" story and it gave me hope. It was a great story. I was acting out a lot like you were, so I'm glad I found MB. Maybe I can do something before its too late!! I was so glad that the story ended the way it did. I love the happy endings....

Good! I'm glad you read it and recognized my WRONG behavior. Trust me, I took the darkest, bumpiest, scariest route when I could have had so much more PEACE. Stick with MB. It is a BLESSING. You'll learn so much and however things turn out for you, you'll be a better person for it (and that's not just a cliche).

((Knitgirl))

Now read Bugs, Lil Sis and Silent Lucidity's (and others I can't think of right now) threads for some more inspiration. And LISTEN to the vets... their posts are clearly obvious and chalk full of wisdom (I don't want to start naming name cause I'll surely leave someone out.)

Hi Bugs (Waving at Bugs) What part of the country are you in? I might even make a trek for the celebration pool party.

Congrats on the house Bugs !!!!

Now you will have lots to keep your mind busy for awhile.

One thing I would like to say...

Try not to think about Drac in a bad way. Even if he does something wrong, keep looking for positives.

Now is the time to train yourself for when that mountain moves and he is brought back home. You want to always find good no matter what.

"In the shelter of your presence you hide them from the intrigues of men; in your dwelling you keep them safe from accusing tongues. Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city. In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight!" Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help." Psalm 31:20-22

"Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. A wise person thinks much about death, while the fool thinks only about having a good time" (Ecclesiastes 7:3-4 NLT).


The Bible says that sorrow is better than laughter. Why would that be true? Because when you are hurting and in distress, you are more apt to examine your heart and your motivations. You know your spirit is grieving, and you have the opportunity to deal with the root cause of the pain. It is far better to grieve and learn, than to be happy but a fool. What have you learned from your depression and grief that you can use to reinvest in a better future? What wisdom have you gained?

Prayer:

Lord, what can I learn in my depression? What can I learn about myself, others, and You that will result in a fuller life for me? Teach me, Holy Spirit. Amen.

Knitgirl,

Meggy gave you a great reply. Stick around here, read, post, vent, learn. There is Such great support here I can not begin to tell you how much it has helped me! {{Knitgirl}}

Hi Meggy, I am in Missouri, so it would be a bit of a hike from the Great State! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

INeed, looks like you had a late night. Thanks for the scripture and prayers! I have put away in a safe place enough love and positive thoughts/feelings about Drac so they are safe should the 'mountain move' as you say. I Do still say nice things to the kids about him in that he is a good man and that he loves them very much.

However for now, the focus Has to change from him to Me. Plan B being about Me, not him. It is hard, but I am trying.

The only thing I will say about him today is that last night, he followed the PBL and called on the kids phone. I went downstairs and worked on laundry so I heard None of the conversation on either side!

It is a beautiful day here. I am sitting on the deck drinking coffee and enjoying the thought of sitting in MY OWN screened in backporch soon!

I posted and found MY PLAN B THREAD for ya....

Got it! Thanks Mimi!!

Hey Bugs,

I don't think I ever posted to you before, I'm not around as much as I was before but I log on just to keep up with your sitch...

Now I know why because we live in the same state (the Show Me State), wow maybe I can come to the pool party after all <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

By the way you are doing great wish you were around to give me encouragement when I was going through...

Pepsi

Bugs: Not a late night. I am up everynight til 12 or 1am. Then back up at 5:30 am. I try to get everything in when my daughter is sleeping. I spend alot of time with her now.

It will be hard to improve on yourself. You have done so much already. Enjoy relaxing and having fun. The new house will be great for you and just in time for school.

I'm still waiting to see what will happen. I know I can't afford the mortgage here and he borrowed more than the house is worth, so there is no getting out of this house. We would have to pay the 2nd mortgage first. One of the many things he did not consider.

Now is the time you can get closer to your kids. Enjoy them while you still can.

Just wanted to stop in an say HI! HI!

LMAO...:)

Hey All!

Pepsi,,,, Hey! I've seen your name pop up from time to time. Thanks for not only keeping up with my thread, but for taking the time to post to me. WOW! It always amazes me that I have/am any sort of inspiration to anyone! I am just trying to do the best I can,,, I think the inspiration really comes from people reading the GREAT advise I have gotten from so many here!

INeed,,,,wish I had your stamina! I am up and down all night, but am never "with it" enough to get on line and post.

Rin - - Hey girlfriend! How's my fellow Angel doing??

I just got back to my sister's. She & her husband are at my OTHER sister's this weekend,,,, helping her deal with her sitch regarding my surviving nephew and his drug problem. His mom, Older Sister #1 has just gotten on meds for VERY high blood pressure. We were giving her a week on the meds before telling her that her surviving son stole pain pills from her boyfriend last week. Not a good sitch at all.

I am here waiting for my 6 year old to come "home". Can you believe that?? I thought this wouldn't start til she was a teenager!! LOL! She is with my niece and her husband, at his sister's house. They have a girl DDs age and both were in the niece/nephew's wedding last year. They've had a ball tonight and have decided the are "cousins". I am sure she is asleep, but wanted to come "home" to me tonight, so I am waiting up for here.

We had a GREAT time at the race tonight. DSS even really got into it and had so much fun. I had him call Drac at the "regular" time,,,,I had him step outside of the suite we were in to make the call. He came right back in, so I thought he got VM. He said no, he did talk to him. When I checked the phone, it was a whole 1 minute 23 seconds that they talked!! Drac never called DD, even though she had the "approved" kid phone. SHE didn't care, as she was having fun. So, that is all I care about.

Well, I met with my real estate agent to sign "originals" of the offer paperwork and found out the sellers are a bit nervous about the fact that my D is not settled. So, tomorrow, I am taking the kids to see the house and to "sell" myself and the deal to the agent and the sellers. Just have to reassure them that I am fully approved and able to do the deal all on my own.

The kids don't know I have made an offer on the house,,, I want them to feel they are a part of the decision making process. I KNOW they are going to LOVE the house and will be thrilled to find out,,,I HOPE,,, that I am buying it!

So, guess I'll settle in for the return of DD. Have a peaceful night all.!

Suggestion: don't check the phone to see how long he talked to the kids. Don't remind the kids to call him...let them call him on their own.

Try to step out of their relationship and let him fend for himself with his children. If he calls them, great (but not an issue for you)...if they call him, great (but not an issue for you)...

If you don't check then you won't know he's not calling them and you won't get mad at him. The kids will come to you if they don't hear from him. Deal with it then.

The biggest part of Plan B is that YOU are living YOUR life! I know you want to do things for your children (like making sure they talk to their dad), but if they get upset with him because he doesn't call then maybe that will be a wakeup call for him --- that you are not going to initiate contact between him and his children every day. It's not your responsibility to do that.

Bugs

Congrats on the contract!!! I think Meggy and I live in the same area of the Great State, so maybe we can make a road trip together for your housewarming, pool party! LOL

You are doing great and you sound amazing. Keep it up you Goddess you.

Take Care

Daze

Hey Daze!

I Love a good road trip!!

Thanks, I am still being 'cautiously' excited about the house. I took the kids there today during an Open House the seller had already scheduled and could not cancel. I told them that it was a place we were just LOOKING at,,,did not tell them any more. They fell in love with it and asked if we could buy it. It felt so Great to be able to tell them YES! They are both excited. Now just have to work through the final details asap to close by the 10th.


I am not allowing myself to wonder or speculate what Drac will think or do. The kids called him the am twice and got his vm. Phone was off. He called them at lunch time. We were at McDonalds with my niece Before we were going to see the house, so I had her sit with them while they talked. I heard NONE of the conversation. Drac called the house early before my scheduled drop off time for DSS (DSS cell was dead) I let DD answer and went downstairs to avoid the conversation. DSS came down after and told me FIL was here to pick him up

FIL and I sat outside on the proch talking for 1/2 an hour. I told him about the house and showed him pics. He is going to give me a lwan mower, riding and/or push, whatever I need. He has several as he likes to tinker with them. He said he'd do anything I needed if I need any help, including moving. We did not talk much about Drac, except the FIL said it was time for me to move on and do what is best for me. He is a dear man! I have made sure he knows I intend for us to stay in touch and he is welcome at my home anytime!

Cat,

I am struggling with the kid contact thing, as you can see. I don't necessarily disagree with you, but am hesitant and unsure.

I put in the PBL that whoever has DD would have her call at specific times. This am, she made Another comment on how she always gets daddy's vm and was not happy with him.

So, in order to make a change to the 'schedule' I would need to come out of the dark to cummunicate that. I do not think it is wise right now. It has not even been a week and I already contacted him about DD's dr appt

I am doing better at avoiding even being close enough to hear the conversation. I will take your advise on not checking on the length of time they talk. But for now will leave the schedule 'as is'

I will be having my A send a letter informing Drac of the pending move and estimated timeframe. Will say only that we will be out of this house by the end of Aug.

I feel very Relaxed tonight. Used to be that I would be really wound up, worrying about so many things to be done. I am actually sitting on my deck enjoying the weather and having a cocktail. Thinking about how i am amazed by where and how I am right now!

Goddesses Rule!