She doesn't think that because she thinks she's better than you! They ALL think that! It's part of the game...

The it won't happen to me!

Screw Drac and POWS! We'll sock it to them! LMAO

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Bugs:

Tell your attorney to respond as needed.

Just do what ever has to happen, at the last possible moment.

Remember, you want the M, not the House.

You have proved your point already.


However, be sure to ask your attorney to use the word "sordid" in any reply, preferably with a reference from websters dictionary.

I.E. We find the use of sordid in you most recent fax to be interesting, as my client has been above board and transparent in all her dealing both during the Divorce proceeding and her marriage to plaintiff. ZING!


But, you are in plan B. Let your Attorney do her job. Your Attorney CAN ratchet up certain things now that you are in Plan B, but otherwise, just ignore the madness.

Discuss with your attorney the title issues I described above. Point out the the quit-claim can be dated the day after the dissolution of your M, or any other day you see fit.

(((BUGS)))

LG

Hey everybody!

I am really doing better than I expected with this whole thing. Have a PLAN makes a huge difference, doesn't it.

My A will deal with the legalities. I LOVE the idea of using the word Sordid in MY response! Good one LG!

On the Plan B for the house. M & D are already on it getting their part lined up. Plan is for them to come along Monday for the inspection and sign a contract in their name things will proceed as planned, just under their names and not mine. A few minor details to iron out, but is should not effect the timeframe. I am telling NO ONE but you all about the house Plan B.

I do not want to run the risk of Drac finding out just yet. All will be revealed in good time.

So, am thinking opf chinese for dinner with a nice bottle of wine.

Hmmm.... Chineese... that is what my daughter and I had last night. Then we went and saw the oscar meyer weiner mobile.

Consider yourself lucky that you can get a new house and that the other one can be sold. My husband when he started in this depression went out and took a second mortgage which is at 120% of the house's value. I will not be able to sell the house and unless the courts give me really good help with spousal and child support, I will have to let it forclose. Not what I really want to do, but I don't make enough to pay that. I bring home 1200 per month and the house alone is 1000 per month. Doesn't leave me much for all the utilities. God will provide though.

Putting myself into fixing up the house. Painting the walls. Landscaping, etc. Just to keep busy. Had my rock wall fall down in front of the house. I'll be trying to rebuild that next weekend.

Tomorrow is amusement park day, so I will relax !!!

Have you done the school shopping with the kids yet ? Doing that today. They get so excited to get new things.

Bugs: I think you are doing an excellent job. Can't wait for the Lord to shepherd your one and leave the 99 behind. Hopefully mine won't be one of the 99.

Isn't it amazing as to how much strenght the Lord has given us. Think back to how you were when he first left and how you are now. God is taking care of us, he will eventually take care of our spouses.

The messages left for my daughter are so much nicer than before. I believe this is because he is starting to change, so I am preparing the house for his return.

I am also preparing myself for the worst. He wants my power washer and push weedwacker. Those were put on my sears charge and I will not let him have them. Moving them to my sisters for safe protection. Other then that I don't care what all I have. As long as we have the Lord and our children, really what else matters? We would love our husbands home, but at the same time, if they are one of the Lost that will stay Lost, do we want them then ? I know God has GREAT things planned for us. Hopefully it involves our husbands, but why strive ? He tells us not to, he has it all in HIS hands.

So don't worry....and I'll try not to worry...and we'll encourage each other. and we will SURVIVE !

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).

Here are some steps to help you relax:

* Approach God first.
* Breathe deeply—in through your nose and out through your
mouth.
* Read the Bible out loud, slowly. Focus only on the words
you are saying.
* Go back and read the same passage again.
* Imagine your burdens are actual weights on the surface of
your body. Gently shake them off.
* Pray that God's Spirit will fill you and surround you
with peace and strength.

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27).

Eternal Father, teach me to relax today. I will imagine Your strong, loving arms holding me steady so I can rest. Lord, my marriage is in your hands so I have no worries. I know you will battle the enemy for me. I pray that you will lift the fog covering Dracs eyes, soften his heart, and lift the blinders off his eyes so that he may know and understand what sin is and I pray that he may desire to have his family back. I pray this all through the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

INeed,

Thanks for the relaxation tips! I used them well yesterday! I truly do feel very blessed. The Lord is taking very good care of me and DD. So many things could be so much worse, that is for sure.

On your house sitch, is your WH giving you ANY money? You really need to get that situation fixed NOW. Again, I will encourage you to get professional representation in that regard and get it resolved asap. No matter where your M ends up, it is vital that your finances are protected for both you and DD. Don't let it get out of hand. There is NO reason you should lose your home. Think about it,,,,, here you are telling me you are worried that you could lose your home but where is WH?? MEXICO?? That's not right.

So, Friday night I decided to have a relaxing evening. Did a bit of shopping on the way home and grabbed that chinese. Sat down and it was wonderful. I heard the garage door open and cousin-in-law was bringing back FIL's lawn mower. I went out to talk to him, it started raining, so he came in and we talked for a while. I got to hear more of the [email]BullCr@p[/email] that Drac has continued to spew about me and our sitch. Everything from the fact that he does not have a "girlfriend", to the reason that they "broke up" was because I was STALKING her and being MEAN?? Heck, I don'/t even know what she looks like! I just tried to laugh it off.

While we were talking, the kids called. They were in the Ho's area,,,playing laser tag, so guess it was another "family" night out. PUKE! Drac was obviously standing right there when they called because I heard him talking to DD while she was on the phone with me. I tried to brush it off, but it still hurt a lot!

Yesterday I was up bright and early. Mowed a bit of grass til the mower broke. Came in and I got through the entire basement! I organized and re-packed all of my storage bins. I separated them so that I know what I am taking and what I am leaving. I arranged it so that it looks like I am only taking my clothes and a few personal items. I know Drac will be in here looking around so I don't want to make it obvious as to what is going out the door with me just yet.

I then went back outside and fixed the mower! I finished mowing the entire yard, so I don't have to worry about Drac trying to come over here today to do it. I don't want him here.

I called the kids in the morning, but got no answer. I sent a text message a bit later and I know that they got it, but did not call back. I called last night and got no answer. A bit later DSS called. He said "I lost track of time. I had left the phone in Dad's car. Sorry". So, I am guessing that Drac has put the responsibility of remembering to call me on DSS. Interesting. Guess I don't feel too bad about doing the same thing now. If the kids remember to call, fine. If they don't, then he can call them. DD got on, they were at Drac's friend R's house and playing. She was telling me all about the laser tag last night. Seems they were supposed to go to a pool, but didn't because of the rain. She apparently asked DSS if "Daddy will be mad if I tell Mommy that we went to the Ho's house because her son wanted to go to the pool too". She went on to tell me that they went to laser tag, the back to the Ho's house, where they played because "Daddy and the Ho had to have a talk and then they went home really late"

Now, I know I'm not supposed to think about what they are up to, but it is darn hard. What does having a talk mean? The possibilities make me sick to my stomach!! I am trying VERY hard not to go there, but it is too, too hard!!

So, right now I am finishing up my coffee and starting on DD's room. Going to back up stuff I know she doesn't play with a lot, clean out old clothes and old toys, etc. Then it's on to files, the desk, and the kitchen. Hope to get a lot done today so that I'll not have much left other than the usual daily stuff we use all of the time when moving day comes.

Tomorrow afternoon is the home inspection, parents coming to see the house, and sign the contract. They are going to make the financial arrangements tomorrow morning, I think.

So will try to focus on MY life, MY plans and get the Drac thoughts outta my mind. I was reading Fox's thread,,,and I do understand what BR is trying to help her with. I have made a lot of changes and I feel very good about that, no matter the outcome of my M. However, let's be honest, I don't think any of us can say that we don't hope down deep in our hearts that the changes we've made won't in some way bring back our WS. It is that bit of hope that we keep alive that protects the possibility of recovery, isn't it?

Well, I am not up for deep thought this am. Just trying to be honest with myself I guess.

Have a great day everyone!

I was just over reading on Sadguy's thread and what BR wrote to him was just so good! In case you didn't catch it, here's the part of her post that hit me,,,



You all know that I am ALL about having a PLAN! Yest this was such a grea reminder of what MY plan needs to be about. It needs to be about fixing ME, it needs to be about taking care of DD, but it is NOT about fixing Drac, it is NOT about trying to control the uncontrollable. THAT is God's, not mine.

I DO so pray that he speaks to Drac's heart. I DO pray that he Breaks Drac. I think that like Meggy's H, that is what is going to have to happen before Drac can/will make any changes to himself. Drac does have to make some serious changes or he is going to continue to go down the wrong paths. If he and the Ho stay together, they will end up someday right where Drac and I are,,,,,the finer details may be different, but the end result will be the same.

One of the last talks I had with Drac, I did tell him that no matter where he goes or who he is with, he will end up making the same mistakes and end up in the same bad place. That there is a way to keep from making those mistakes & that WE can make those changes together. Of course, this did absolutely no good with him, but perhaps one of these days he will think back and remember what I said. That I am willing to work with him to make a M that is better than either of us ever imageined.

Now, that is SO far down the road, IF it would ever happen, that now is not the time to expend much time or energy on it. But is IS one of the possible outcomes that may happen if I just get out of the way and let God work His plan.

You know, my FAVORITE part of BR's post,,,,,



As isn't this what we ALL want for our lives?? Isn't that why we all came here in the first place?

But think about it,,,, did ANY of us have any idea of what the path would be? I know I didn't. I had no idea of the things I would have done or changed or experience up until this point. Looking back at what I've been through, what I've done, how I've done it,,,,it is NOT what I would have told you that first day that I posted, that is for sure!

My point being that part of letting go and letting God is that I have to keep my mind OPEN to every possibility. I don't know what tomorrow holds. I only know that no matter what it is, if I let HIM be in charge, He will take me through it, and I will end up where I need to be according to HIS plan. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Bugs:

All I can offer today:

Read more of BR.

She is great....

((((BUGS))))

LG

Happy Sunday, LG!

I always look for threads where BR is posting, as I agree, she is great! I do the same with your posts, as well as Mimi's and a few others. Each of us have those that seem to resonate best with us for whatever reason.

I was just over on Sis's thread and WOW! Lots of great stuff there, too. I feel like I've already been to church this morning!

Hope you have a great day!

Went to the amusement park yesterday and had a great time. First time since he left that I didn't think about him all day.

It's nice to concentrate on our children's happiness and others around us.

I started the day off at my friends church and I felt as though I was being hugged there too. God is so amazing. He is giving both of us the strength we need. We both know that we have the "escape plan" that the bible alows us to use, although I know both you and I don't want to use it at all.

The following is my morning lesson from REJOICEMINISTRIES.ORG


We have to be content with where we are in our lives.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13

It is God's strength that allows us to wait patiently. God is using the wait to enlarge your faith and to ensure that your focus is on Him. He alone will know when you are ready.

For those of you with as little patience as I, remember - it takes time to grow a tree; it takes time to build a mountain; it takes time to create a rose. Give God time in these matters and then just see what glorious beauty He will bring forth from the wait. Be grateful for every step forward the Lord allows you to take.

Give God time to accomplish His purpose in your life. Just as He has been patient with you, so must you be patient with God. While you wait, He is building you up and changing the landscape of your life, both inside and out. These trials are but temporary and they, too, shall pass. God will not let us remain in this place forever. He always places a time limit on our suffering. Without the night, we could not have the dawn. Without the trials, we could not have the glory. Without the wait, we could not have the strength. We must never give up believing in the promise even if it takes its time getting to us.

In Ephesians 1:11-12 we read:

"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory."

This tells us that our life is unfolding according to the glorious plan of the One who sees all and knows all.

Patient waiting is a tough lesson to learn. There are so many times we want to force the issue; to take matters into our own hands. But we must trust in the Man with the Plan. Your name is engraved on the palms of His hands and He will not forget you.

"Remember these things, O Jacob, for you are my servant, O Israel. I have made you, you are my servant; O Israel, I will not forget you." Isaiah 44:21

For many of us, each day that passes finds us more and more discouraged. For us, His help is not coming fast enough. We pray and we fast and we hope against hope. But it is God's timing, His plan that will prevail. As He spoke to Isaiah "I will respond at just the right time." He has set aside a special time to answer us and His time is best.

Yes, the wait IS hard. But God can turn the wait into something wonderful. Good things happen when we wait patiently on God. These clouds of trial will one day give way to showers of blessing. Your patient endurance will one day yield to blessed abundance. And when the floodgates of promise open for you, you will rejoice in the One who strengthened you through the wait and the light that pours out will help you forget the time of darkness.

"Yet if you devote your heart to him and stretch out your hands to him, if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear. You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning." Job 11:13-17

INeed,

Wow! What great inspiration this morning! What you have here is needed right now by So many on this board. Do you realize what a Blessing you are and that you give with your morning posts on my thread?? I can't thank you enough

So glad you had a Great day at the park with DD! I have done those days with my kids and it makes all of the difference in the world in how I feel. Yes, sometimes it's hard when you think how great it would be if your H was there with you as a family, but then it gets easier as time goes by, as we gather our strength, to let that go and focus on the moment with your kids.

Narrowly escaped a Drac sighting this morning. I was getting DD out of the car when Drac pulled in to drop off DSS at the sitter's. I got her out of the car and just turned my back to walk in the house. I told DD to wave at Daddy, but I did not look at him. So, I didn't see him, but he saw me (in proper Goddess wear I might add).

This was the first 'accidential' encounter. To date, he has stuck strictly to the PBL instructions. Wonder what he was thinking when he saw me there? I doubt it mattered at all. It was a TOTAL Affairland weekend. Friday night laser tag with my kids and a water park all day on Sunday again with my kids (but HER son was with his Dad).PUKE! He is in big time "hating Bugs" mode anyway, so seeing me probably only fueled his anger. He's a BIG time grudge guy, if he thinks someone has done him wrong,,,,, so with the D issues, I am sure I fall into that category now.

I do wonder when the 'party' life will end? It is always some fun activity every weekend and has been since he left. Isn't thay Karma bus about due at his stop? LOL!

Seriously, how long can he continue to 'buy' his kid's love? He still is saying how DSS if BETTER, HAPPIER, now Yet he doesn't see that having Dad that pays attention to him by taking him places every weekend VS the Dad that laid on the couch and Slept all weekend before would make ANY kid more happy?! Does he not realize that is about HIM, not me or us? Does he not see that it won't last like that?

Ok,,why did I go down that road? Sorry!

DD was telling me a lot of different things about there weekend and mentioned specific things about the Ho. I took the opportunity to remind her of the facts of the situation. It's hard for her, I know, but I think the truth is important. She wanted me to "tell Daddy it is wrong so he will stop". Ah, if only it were that simple. Last night at bedtime she talked about it again, but the way in which she said it let's me know that she does understand what is going on. She said, "Oh,, it's just not right." I asked her what she meant. She said "We are still married. We are not divorced. Daddy has a girl and that's NOT right!". I told her no, it's not right. Then I spent time reassuring her that she is loved and that no matter what happens, it will be Ok.

I got through her entire room yesterday. I am not packing everything up. I'm going through and packing what I know she doesn't play with a lot, and am planning to leave some things there, as she needs toys when she visits him. I am putting things in such an order that when my family comes to help, we will be packing up what is all organized and ready to go. I can simply point to the containers to remove or the drawers to empty. I got some done in my bedroom as well.

Only Bad thing is that I injured my shoulder somewhere along the line. It hurts even sitting here typing. I have to rest my arm on my leg to support it. I see a chiropractor over by where I am moving, so am going to call him when his office opens to get in today. Hope that does the trick, otherwise it's a dr visit tomorrow. I am leaving mid morning to register DD for her new school, then meeting Mom & Dad at the new house for home inspection this afternoon! I have to call my real estate agent in a few minutes to have her draw up and bring a new contract with Mom & Dad's name on it. After discussing with everyone, we decided this is the best way to go. They are going by the bank before our meeting to get the loan in motion.

So, being patient, trusting God to work this all out. Thankful for being so blessed. Asking for patience. Trying NOT to think about what is going on in Affairland.

Drac sent an email about an hour ago. Apparently all it said was that he has not gotten the electric bill for the house this month, it usually comes a few days after his Dad's.

I see no need to respond to this. Anyone have other thoughts?

Why did he even send the message? Certainly it is not my problem if he has that bill or not, is it? It's in HIS name and I will be outta there in 3 weeks or less.



By the way, talked to my parents, they are good to go on buying the house, the bank has approved them already this morning. We just have to get the appraisal done and set the closing date - - - AS LONG as the inspections today are A-OK!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />:)

Ignore the email (unless the power's gonna be shut off before you move).

Cool!!!! Congrats on the house!

Bugs,

I agree with PM, ignore the e-mail.

Love ya

Still

How exciting!!! Hope the inspections go smoothly!

How's the shoulder?
Most likely its a muscle strain or pull -- don't know if your chiropracter can help much with that...

Drac's first Plan B breakage attempt! And a pretty weak one at that!! HEHEHEHE. Poor man had to wrack his brain to come up with a reason to communicate with you, and that was the best he could do? Lame.

Hey PM & Lexxx!

I am confident the inspection will go fine! Trusting God has it under control.

I am pretty sure should is muscular, but getting adjusted will help it heal faster. If not, will have to see medical dr later this week. Seeing chiro today saves me a trip for scheduled appt on Wed (an hour drive)

Lexx,, I was sitting here asking myself why in the world did he bother to send me that message at all. THAT is a break of Plan B?

If so, lame is just the right word. I just find it hard to believe he'd 'want' to contact me after the big Ho & family weekend. Or is it a control thing? Since I did not even bother to look at him this am?

Did he send directly to you? or through intermediary?

About the stories he's spreading. Do your best damage control. This why exposure is so important -- because WS's lie to get sympathy for their tenuous position. And lying is pretty much the only way they will get any.

Knowing what he is doing is definitely not good for PLAN B. He is supposed NOT TO EXIST for you. If you know this stuff, you are not safeguarding your love for him. This can be a HUGE ERROE. We've seen it before, Bugs....

And what did you mean by not looking at him this AM?

I'm not reading carefully. I'm sorry. But was there some contact?

Mimi,

I do not know any way NOT to know what he is doing when it involves my kids. Other than being a continuing LB for me, what other issues are there with that?

On the 'contact' he pulled in while into the sitter's this am while I was getting DD out of the car. I did not even look at him. Just carried her in the house w/my back to him

He later sent an email that aparently just said he has not gotten the electric bill for the house yet this month and that itusually comes a few days after his Dad's bill comes (both still come to the house where I live).

I did not have a reply sent.

Hey Bugs,

Just checking in - having a bit of a rough time myself here in day 7.

We are both getting great advice. Have you read Mortarman's response to me on my thread? Probably very applicable to you as well.

We are MAH-VE-LOUS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />