SL:

That is TOO FUNNY! LOL! What language is that? Is this from a movie that I don't know about?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It was the movie of my life. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Oh, it's so strange when you realize that your own FWH did these same things, so WEIRD. All that talk that I could have just ignored or avoided; would have saved me a WORLD of grief...

I also find it strange when I sit here and read what WS's deep in the fog do and say and I remember doing and saying the same thing. YIKES, that is a scary thought and makes me shudder.

I'm picturing the look on my H's face at times when I was "pleading my case" and telling him why it was OK that I talk to FOM. He can trust me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> He looked at me like I had 2 heads and that he couldn't comprehend a word I was saying. I can only imagine the only thing he heard was blahbetty, blah, blah, blah. Poor guy. Thankfully I got my sanity back.

Thanks for the laugh this morning.

LC

Hey everyone!

Class is going a bit better than last time. DD is doing fine. Mom says pool looks good!

Oh, the Drac thing? I let it go. He called the cell last night. Left 1 vm, but I deleted. He called 3x in the space if 15 minutes , I guess wanting to talk to DD. She called him from Grandma's phone.

He KNEW I was out of town, too because he got my out of office auto reply yesterday. There was no reason for him to call MY cell other than to try to 'get' to me in some way. Stupid Drac.

Thanks for all of the input! Am feeling much better today. Focused only on the here and now of work!

Love the Blah blah language! Reminds me of the Charlie Brown cartoons when the adults speak,,,all you hear is blah blah blah!

Am missing you having my MB time this week!
Training is going much better this time around. It is a combination of a change in the training AND a change in me. I chose to come in, determined to 'get it', and with the confidence that I could/would 'get it'. I reminded myself of my GREAT qualifications in my job and of my past successes. There is no reason I can't build even more of that for myself. I am totally focused in MY Success both as a professional and as a Mom. Those are my top 2 priorities right now.

Drac asked to have DD tomorrow nite, as he did not get is 'regular' nite with her tonight as he is out of town. Told M to let him know that is OK. Apparently Drac already told DD that would be happening before he even sent the request, as she told me this am. Whatever.

Am letting Sis handle the pick up if he is too late to get her from Latch Key and Sis will be at my house for drop off. I won't be home from the airport yet. Works well for my Total Darkness!

Am taking kids with Sis and BIL camping at the lake for the weekend in their New 31ft camper! Has all of the comforts of home. Should be a lot of fun!

Just tried to call DSS and his phone must be off. He may still be at football practice.

Drac just called MY cell and left vm. Had it listened to - he is claiming #1 his personal cell has died. #2 his work cell suddenly won't send text messages #3 he does not know if I have DD or if she is w/my mom #4 asked to have DD call his work cell.

Anyone buying that it was necessary to call and leave a VM?

Again, whatever. I am dark. Mom has both his #'s.

Am going to business dinner in a few minutes. I hope to catch up on some threads later!

NOPE...

Of course, he is just being "CIVIL"..not wanting to HEAR YOUR VOICE... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Oh yes, he is Mr Civil, Let's Be Friends.

Mr I have contacted you Every day for how many days now?

What kind of game is he playing now?


Mom had DD call Drac's personal AND business cell phones and left vm, as he did not answer either one. 15 min later, Drac calls DD back from he DEAD PERSONAL phone?!!

OMG! I am sitting here laughing at the ridiculous nature of it all. I don't get it and I don't care right now. His games are his problem, not mine.

I am lying here on my bed. I just finished a very nice meal, including a nice glass of wine. I have a decadent dessert in the room fridge. An early night to sleep. DD is well fed and asleep at home. I left DSS a text message when I could not reach him.

Life is good.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What more could we ask for?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LMAO

Hey everyone!

I think I started going through MB withdrawls while out of town this week! Missed you all! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I got back last night and spent all of the brief time I had with DD before she had to go to bed and then was really too exhausted to read or post.

I have to tell you that this training class felt a LOT different than the one in June and I have been thinking about WHY that is. We had the same content, just expanded further but this time, I felt like i GOT it. I felt good, I felt smart (instead of stupid & slow), I participated, I felt confident and could SEE the difference in the ways that people reacted to and reacted WTIH me.

What was the difference?

ME!! My attitude. It is as if FINALLY the real true BUGS is back again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Did I think about Drac? Yes, I did. How could I not with him trying to communicate EVERY DAY. But, I wasn't overwhelmed or obsesssed with him every waking moment. Instead, I allowed myself to be me. I truly gave myself 100%, the way I used to in being in the moment and concentrating on what *I* was doing.

Was this my "light bulb" moment of letting Drac go? I don't know yet. I do know I am better and am SO glad!!

Yesterday he sent a message about what time his class was getting over and about picking up DD. I just had it sent to my Sis. SHE called him in the afternoon to finalize the arrangements. I think it took him by surprise.

Of course, he STILL had to send another message later about picking up DSS today for the weekend. I'd already talked to DSS early in the am and had made arrangements with DSS to talk to him last night and finalize the pick up today. Which I did last night while driving home from the airport. We did not need Drac's involvment at all.

I told DSS to bring his life vest and clothes for the lake/camping. He said he'd have to leave Drac a note about what he was "taking". Before thinking, I asked him WHY? He said so that Dad would know where all of the stuff went. WHAT??? Then I remembered DD telling me that she is not "allowed" to bring clothes here that Daddy bought.

What is THAT about?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I recovered with DSS and told him that if a note is necessary, that is just fine and not a problem. WHATEVER. I don't get why Drac would do that to the kids??? But, I won't make a big deal about it to them.

DD was THRILLED to have me home,,, almost as much as I was to BE home! What a GREAT feeling! I haven't heard yet about how drop off went with Sis last night, we didn't talk in front of DD, but Sis said "We'll talk tomorrow", so sounds like something may have gone down. I wondered if Drac would use my absence to try to gain entry to the house and have a look around. Again,,,, WHATEVER.

So, I need to get motivating here for the day. We will be having niece's dogs overnight tonight. DD is SO excited about that. She'd asked if they could swim in the pool with her and I said no. She was disappointed until I told her that she could have them sleep in her room.

I will have to pack tonight for the camping weekend. Also going to try to fit in buying myself a mattress for my room and getting daybed from Mom for DSS. Going to be a busy and fun weekend,,,,, can't wait!

Will definately check back later. Hope all of you are doing well!

Bugs:

Good to see you back.

Drac is being VERY persistant isn't he?

His A needed you to survive.

You have left.

And his A seems to be in trouble.

Please be as dark as possible.

He may have to settle for Ho in his life.

You DO NOT have to settle for DRAC in yours.

You can however, hope for H to return. And to learn about MB.

And then see where that M can go!

LG

Oh Bugs!!

Great update! Wonderful to see you so full of positive energy!

I'd keep resending a copy of the Plan B letter. With a note on top of each one.

"Please stop calling my phone"

"Please stop TM's to my phone"

"Please contact Sis regarding pick-ups"

"Please refer to calendar regarding schedule"

etc. etc. etc.

Please update us when you talk to your sister. He's up to something....trying to get his BUGS fix!

Funny how this stuff works, huh?

Hey guys!

First, I forgot an important part of the update earlier,, The Pool looks GREAT. Water is perfect! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I did talk to Sis. No great shakes on the drop off last night. It is unfortunate that Sis is of the belief that Drac and I should 'be friends' when it comes to the kids. She said he did not come to the door and added that it is 'uncomfortable for DD' that it has to be that way.

I wasn't in the mood to get in to it at the time, but I intend to ask Sis, 'do you thinkj it is 'comfortable' for DD to have to have her daddy have an A and take her around the Ho as if it is normal and ok?'. She does not understand Plan B or MB at all. She thinks I should just accept, move on, and be friendly w/Drac for the sake of the kids. She views me NOT doing that as being deluded un some way --- I should say it 'appears' that is what she thinks, she did not say that to me.

However, with some commentary on her part to let me know where she stands, she does overall support me in the way that I request and that is enough for me right now. She just cares and believes what she believes. I do not fault her for it, but find it frustrating sometimes.

I will have to come back and share a funny story in a bit,,,,one od Drac's counterparts shared with me earlier.

Hi, Bugs,

I've been following your thread, although I don't post much on MB anymore.

I really agree that you need to be totally dark...not so much as a glimmer of light showing...and that goes for YOU as well as Drac.

So...your intermediary does NOT need to discuss anything about Drac with you other than the necessary information about the kids. You do not need to examine his actions in any way...whether he comes to the door or not, anything he says other than "I'll pick up DD at such-and-such a time" yada, yada... You need to know absolutely NOTHING about his life or actions. PERIOD.

Your intermediary also does not need to discuss ANYTHING regarding YOU with Drac. All he needs to know is that Bugs will have DD ready at such-and-such a tiem or that Bugs will pick up DSS at such-and-such a time. He needs to know absolutely NOTHING about your life or actions. PERIOD.

Any glimpses into your life may serve to convince him that you are still sitting around, pining over him. He needs to get over that notion, and total darkness is the only way.

Any glimpses into HIS life only serve to hinder your moving on and may drain your love bank faster.

Lady,

It is so ironic you brought up that subject, as I was just having that discussion! The less I know, the BETTER if feel. The less I know, the better I am at focusing on Me, my stuff, and the kids.

Even with the bits of info this week, less info since the move has done me a world of good. So, darker is certainly better. Sealing up the pin holes of light with me pitch black tar today! Thanks!

Yep -- Just think of how exhilarated you felt this week while you were COMPLETELY out of his reach!

Let's get that feeling going every day!

Have a great time this weekend! It sounds like a lot of fun!

We are in total agreement to stay on the positive roll AND what it takes to do that. Being Dark.

On another good notes, was surprised to end up sitting on the plane next to a guy who used to work at my company! Have not seen him in years. It was a VERY pleasant conversation the entire ride home.

Is it wrong to say that I am pretty sure he wants to ask me out?

We had NO inappropriate conversation or anything like that. He was aware thru the 'grapevine' of my sitch. I made it clear what my stance is, but I had that definate feeling that he would like to consider himself a future 'prospect' if/when the time comes.

Don't get me wrong - I am in no way saying I want to date anyone. It does feel good, though, to think I'd have a prospect or 2. Ego boost if ya know what I mean.

I have done a much better job of keeping Drac out of my thoughts minute by minute. Is that why I am dreaming about him every night?

Bugs;
When your needs have been neglected it is a HUGE LB deposit to get that admiration need met!

You've got a good head on your shoulders -- so I don't worry about you heading down the A path.

But don't you just SEE how so many BS's find themselves in affairs at this particular point? It would be so easy to justify it.
The divorce is in the works...
you start talking yourself into the marriage virtually over...
the WS isn't doing anything that looks like reconciliation...
Then someone comes along admiring you, wanting to date you and BAM -- affair started.

Then of course WS wants to come back....

Lexxx,

Oh I can TOTALLY see the BS getting into an A, which is why I am trying very hard to stay aware of my vunerability.

As you say, no deposits in the Love Bank, thinking the D is a done deal, WS giving no signs of ever coming back,,,

AND

Society, for the most part, says it's OK! Outside of MB, I can name the people IRL that would call me on it and believe it to be wrong! How sad is that?

Even after the D, it will be a long, long time before I would even consider going on a date.

Hey Bugs,

Sorry, haven't stopped in to check and see how things are going lately with my own drama.

I'll read up on the latest but I am sure you are still doing MAH-VE-LOUS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Keep up the good work, Bugs. You're doing really well.

And you're right, the less you know about what he's doing, the easier it will be for you.