Hi guys, i was referred here by a guy on another board so i decided to get your imput on how to solve this. You can see the whole story here: web page

ok, i'll post my situation here because i do want to get my girlfriend back and i don't know how to approach this.

Here's the thing:
My girlfriend of almost 3 years( will be 3 yrs in August) broke up with me on wednesday. I really understand her decision, even though our first 2 yrs were golden, the last year i started taking her for granted and started treating her in a not so nice way, way distant from the romance i gave her during the first 2 yrs. She said that she had been gaining courage to leave me for some time a finally, after one more [censored] by yours trully, she decided it was time to move on.
It was the first time i had ever been in this situation and it really made me go through my past in a pretty clear flashback. I honestly see things a bit more clearly now and there's no way in ****** i would do that kind of ****** to her again.Basically, i was acting like an arrogant moron with the people i love the most.
I told her this and asked for a chance to try and make things right and after talking for a while, she agreed but she doesn't really see a future in us anymore( with the arrogant moron i had become). So we saw each other the wednesday night(lots of crying involved from both of us and some barry white songs ), thursday and tonight. We have been behaving like a normal couple and i've been trying to show her that i learned alot and i want to make it right with her.Except that when i ask if she believes in us, she says she doesn't and part of her wants to break up but the other part wants to try and work it out.This is very frustrating for me( to hear those kinds of stuff) and i really don't know what to do.

-moving on and be miserable for a while is an option i realy don't want to take unless i really have to.
-try to win her back, but how?
-give her space? But then again she says that when she's alone she thinks it's better to break up for real and when she's with me i can see and feel the love( yes she says she still loves me but it really isn't enough)


What should i do,oh enlightened ones? I've been feeling like ****** because i can't seem to convince her that i'm back to my old self( i know, it's been only a couple of days but time is running short).

So today was day 3 after the "breakup" ( we're still together)

We had planned to come to my house and prepare a nice dinner for us and my parents. So, we met earlier than expected and we went out to get some lunch and ended up going to Pizza hut ( Pizza makes you hyoooge) after we bought the stuff we needed to prepare dinner.

I had written her a letter wher i explained everything i posted above, Why i changed that much, how much it costs, how sorry i am, and how and why i'm never ever going to go back to that. I introduced to counseling subject but never touched the possibility of us going together. the reaction was good. I like to write and i think i'm pretty good with it so i write often.

Then we came home and watched a Louis Black DVD, well, half of it because then we proceeded to do something we do very well: sex, lot's of it. We showered than we had dinner,and then i took her home.

The day went awesome.We laughed alot,teased,hugged each other passionatelly, basically, we did everything we used to do some time ago.

But then, when i was walking with her, to take her home, she senses that i'm convinced that everything is going great and proceeds to remind me of how things aren't ok, that one good day doesn't make things the way they were, and that she can end this ****** whenever she wants. Oh, and that she's only giving me this chance because "i deserve it", even though she doesn't believe it.

I mean, what the ******!!! I know that! I don't need nor do i want to be constantly reminded of how things are going and how ****** up our relationship is. Just sit tight and enjoy the ride.

Well, this is it for today. I asked if she wants to go with me to some other place next weekend and she said she has to think about it. I was hoping for a yes but, oh well.

Before she went to bed, we talked on MSN and i touched the counselling subject again, saying that i'm really keen on this and will do it to be a better person.


My main issue will be giving her space, i bet.But i'll have to find a way to be able to do that.

We have a wedding party schedulled to 2 weeks from now and she said we should tell my parents we aren't going because you never know if we'll be together or not. ******! When i said we wi'll be together she reverted to the " i don't like to see you that positive about it because things are really ****** up" crap.I mean, again?

Well, it's the begginning of day 4 and i think i already did my first ****** up.

So i went to the university in the morning to have my first exam. When i got out, i called her and she was still sleeping. She answered and i asked if she wanted to get out of bed and come meet me. The answer was a "not really and i have to go with my mom do something( sign some papers)". I should be expecting that( i kinda was) but i guess that even if she had nothing to do, she wouldn't get out of bed for this.
I then decided to go and buy a rose and i left it on the windshield of her car for her to see when she goes out. And i sent a text message shortly after( didn't talk to her since the call) saying that i'm gonna shoot some hoops and she's free to drop by if she wants to.

****** up? Not? I don't know. I kept thinking i shouldn't say ****** but then i wanted to do this.

UPDATE: She just left my place and i think things went fine. She said she loved the rose and, for the first time since wednesday, the state of our relationship wasn't mentioned.I take this as a good sign, even though i know i'm far far away from winning this battle. We were together only for 1.5 hours as she had to go to work.
Another thing, i didn't ask when would i see her again. She left something at my place because " that way i know where i have some, when i come here". This at least tells me she's interested in coming here again, wich, i think, is another good thing.

NOW A MENTAL NOTE FOR MYSELF: DON'T CALL HER TODAY OR TOMORROW AND LET HER INVITE ME TO DO WHATEVER.

Ok, maybe i'm the one who doesn't see anything wrong with what i'm trying to do. What does that have to do with being a [censored] and kissing her [censored] forever? Here are some examples of what i think i need to change( please enlighten me if you think this is being a [censored]):

-Not yelling at her for no real reason
-avoid saying stupid ****** when i go out and get drunk
-not telling that i want to breakup with her(when i really don't) whenever something doesn't go the way i want to, just to make her miserable/cry and eventually do what i want
-Not making her feel bad when she goes out with her friends because i get jealous
-accept going out with her and her friends( i always refused to and said that i would never ever do it),without getting jealous because she doesn't do what my other girlfriends used to( give me all the attention).The very few times this happened, i got drunk and said stupid stuff because i felt jealous.
-Don't refuse to do something with her( I always had fun with her before, but latelly i just don't want to do anything, wich is very boring)

These are some examples.I see nothing wrong with changing these and this is the kind of stuff she complained about and led to alot of fights.I'm done with this because, in the end, it made me miserable aswell.


I agree that given all this, it's pretty ****** hard that she will accept me back, but i'm willing to try my best.
I don't kiss [censored] and i never did.The romantic stuff/gifts are just symbolic stuff with almost no monetary value, but we both enjoy doing it and it makes the other person happy.


This is why it's so hard for me to move on, because IT WAS mostly my attitude that led to this and i know, for my own benefit, that i HAVE TO change it.

Ok, so i was with her today and we were watching "Wedding crashers" with Owen Wilson, at my place. The ****** movie got to her and she started to cry for a bit and she said she's confused( if she does want to go on with me or not), but, this is better than being sure she doesn't want to.

MENTAL NOTE: I have to ****** stop asking her what's going on and why she's sad!!! Like if i don't already know This will only make her think about it and will ****** things up,as in, destroy whatever mood we are on.

Well, i was with her again today. I went to the mall, for some shopping and, when i was coming out, she came after me( she was sitting at a table,studying and when she saw me, she packed her stuff and came after me). I was surprised to see her and asked if she wanted me to stay for a bit, until she left for work. She said yes, otherwise she wouldn't have come after me, so we sat there, talking and i think it was good.

Then we went for an ice cream and i made a mistake again. I asked if she regrets the decision of still being with me. She said: "sometimes. Sometimes i regret the fact that i wasn't able to cut it off completely.". WHY DO I DO THIS ******? WHY? ******!

If this wasn't enough, she said i was a bit weird, unconfortable when we were sitting.And i said it was because i wasn't feeling any love from her and asked why was that. She said she doesn't want to mislead me.
****** ****** ******!! I REALLY GOTTA GET MY ****** TOGETHER AND STOP MAKING THESE COMMENTS.WHAT THE ****** WAS I EXPECTING HER TO SAY?

I asked her if she wants to go to the beach tomorrow and we'll see how that turns out. Besides, we will go for a movie on wednesday, after i come back from the phychiatrist.I'm kind of anxious because i really don't know what to expect.A couple of friends say he's really good though.

Yep. It's all over now.

I'm not feeling too good about it.******!

She said she feels bad/guilty when she's with me( although sometimes she does have fun, but it's hard to forget the rest) and she doesn't want to go on with this because she's fooling herself and me aswell.

I really don't want to let her go, but i may have to, if it's making her miserable to go through this.

How should i approach this? I want her back and it's been almost a month since we broke up. She doesn't have someone else and i don't either because i really want her back.

Can someone help me out?