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Joined: Nov 2002
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Thanks Sdguy,

We all have come very far. And life will be good for all of us. It may not be the way we wanted or thought in the beginning of our journey through all this.

I look back over the past year or so and remember everyone saying that it would get better. I hate to admit this but I really didn't believe it. I really thought I would never get out of the despair I felt about WH leaving me. But look at me I have survived and I feel like I'm really flourishing. I actually like me! The only thing that makes me a little sad (and only a little) is that WH is missing out on this. It's his loss, and he is losing a lot.

I have to say that it was due to my friends here, my kids and friends and I can't forget my faith that helped me get to where I am right now. This place was my life support in my dark dark days.

Sdguy you are not far behind me.... I can "see" you just right behind me. Keep up the great work and just look forward. Forward to a better and happier life. Just imagine what we have to offer...we now know ourselves. We all have so much to offer someone. Be it our WS's or someone else.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Jan 2001
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Still,

Good to hear from you!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yes, life does get better for those who try. Whereas the WS has only 1 direction.... down! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I wish for the demise of all WS' no matter where they are planted. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Glad you are moving forward with the grace and dignity that belongs to you.

The house is getting renovated? Great!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

All the best.

Aloha,
L.

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Howdy Still! Good to hear that you are moving along, doing things to enhance your surroundings.

Just finished some things with the bathroom, so I can check it off of my list. Next up, my bedroom. I'm going to have the wall my bed is against upholstered in microsuede, sort of a camel color. Then I plan on painting the remaining walls a very close shade. I plan on getting some silk to make curtains; maybe chocolate colored, with some sort of pattern, oh, I dunno, we'll see.

It's good to hear you are taking good care of yourself.


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Orchid,

Glad to hear from you. I am with you as I too wish for the demise of all WS's. My WS is going down, I just don't think he sees it yet.

I'm planning on doing more with the house. Nothing major until the divorce is final. After it I will have to hire someone to finish siding that WH started 4 years ago. Can you tell that the house was a priotity <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I know it's keeping me going... the thought of really making this house my home for my kids and me.

It's funny... the guy that photographed my DD17 for her senior portraits says he has the perfect guy for me. He had taken my DD20's senior portraits and also our family portrait in 2004. He told me he's a surgeon and how I will be trading up as WH trades down <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />. I told him after my divorce I'll let him know.

Silent,
It's so good hearing from you. I love what you plan on doing to your bedroom. I just painted but it really had made a big difference.plus the carpet which both of us agreed upon after he first left. The room really needed it. It's amazing what small changes in decorating does for the soul.

In the mornings that I don't have to work I sit on my back deck and just enjoy the woods in my back yard. I thank God for keeping me wrapped in his arms.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
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Still!

Hey Girl! So Great to hear an update from you.

I have to say, WOW! You sound fit & fabulous! Out of all of the great and wonderful things in your post, this is what stuck out to me,,,,,,,,,

Quote
I know I have so much to offer someone.


Amen to that! I am not only so glad to 'hear' you say it, but everything in your post indicates that you finally BELIEVE it yourself! GOOD FOR YOU!

I am also so glad to hear about your bedroom updates. Making your place your own is so great. I have the 'advantage' so to speak in having the new house to make all my own. I just starting putting together MY bedroom. I am finding it difficult yet. But, I'll get there.

Don't be such a stranger around here. You have a lot to offer here when you are ready.

Take care!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Still:
I am so happy to hear an update from you. You sound wonderful. We seem to be--as always--in similar places; I relate to every word you say. Even the whole hormonal thing kicks my a$$ every month!

Remember how we are on this road together? I still feel that way, but I miss you!! So please stay in touch. Even though the road is not so hazardous, it is still a journey....life is a journey.

Please don't be such a stranger. You have "so much to offer" to us as well!

(((hugs to you!))))

Sis

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Bugs,

Hey girl. I also have been keeping up on you. You are sooo much further along then I ever was in plan A or B. And it is with mixed feelings that we make our surroundings around us ours. I know there are moments were I am going through "our" things and there is a little twinge. But you know what I let myself feel sad for that and then let it go.

I won't be a stranger... I think I really grew the last few weeks. My WH right now has put my LB in the red.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
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Morning! I was wondering how your meeting and reading are going? Did you ever get a sponsor?

I'm so proud of you! You really have come a long way! Keep up the great work!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Good Morning Rin,

I haven't really been reading to much lately. The last book I read took me 3 months to read <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />. It was fiction and it helped take my mind off things. I have started reading again from beattie's book the last couple of days.

I don't have a sponser per se... but the ladies in my group are wonderful and I do have thier numbers for when I need it. I haven't been to a meeting for the last 2 weeks....soccer has started for my kids and going to thier games is my priority right now. I'm going to try to make the meeting next week.

I am so proud of you also... hang in there not much longer and hopefully things will be settled for you.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
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OP Offline
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Posts: 1,520
LilSis,

Missed your post the first time. Our time tables are the same. Isn't it funny how time does heal us. It's definately not the road either of us wished to be on.... I just have such good feelings that happiness, true happiness is headed our way real soon.

I have missed people on this board also... even though we have never really "met" I feel like you all are such great friends. It's to bad that miles separate us. Someday maybe all of us killer bees can get together and have a great big party. Not a pity party a "we made it" party. Wouldn't that be fun.

I can finally say for the first time in a long time that I am looking forward to my journey.

BTW Logan is trying to say hi....I'm really going to miss the little bugga when I have to bring him to Boston.

(((hugs))

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
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Thanks Still! Well, you really sound so great...

Good for you with the kids, I know how busy you can get with doing "their" stuff...oh, the joy and frustration some times...LMAO

I'm also glad to hear that you are reaching out when you feel the need, I remember how difficult that was for me, b/c I was isolated with POWS...

I have faith in you!

As far me, I'm doing the best I can with what I've got and God is the only one that can do for me right now...I've done the footwork and I have faith and trust in him that things will be the way that they need to be...

it's out of my hands...I'm feeling pretty good about Friday...so thanks... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Rin.

God has you and your children in the palm of his hand.And that is the place to be. And He will take care of things, you are so right it is in His hands right now.

I have to thank you, you were right there to kick me in the butt when I had my very dark days and nights. It was what I needed at the time and I will be forever grateful for that.

I can also relate to wanting to pull back into myself and not reach out...when reaching out is what helps us the most. It sort of like going to the gym....which I haven't been in a while and really need to force myself to go :
smirk:

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
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Posts: 5,463
:humbly:

you are welcome, I'm glad that I was there for you...the feeling is mutual...

LMAO...that pulling back was a hard lesson to learn for me...I was in such a bad place...and it's so great to be out of it, right here, right now! before court!

LMAO...I understand about the gym...I FINALLY stopped eating ay night and have lost 8 pounds!!! People are starting to notice and THAT feels great! A little more to go...I'm down a pant size...LMAO...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Rin,

Eight pounds that's great. I think I may have taken those eight poulds <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
More reason for me to push myself to the gym.

Today I get to go on the scales.... at the doctors office. I swear they add 5 pounds to it before we get on. Although I know I'm lighter then last year. My annual pap smear...yuck. I'm thinking dirty thoughts but won't post it, it may embarrass me later. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
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Posts: 5,463
LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO....

I think I can imagine where your mind's going...I just had mine a few weeks...female dr...so I couldn't go there! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I think that they add 5 pounds TOO! I swear it!

LMAO...it will all work out! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Posts: 1,520
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Well it has been a very looong time <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
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Posts: 5,463
I hear you...it's a shame I can't even daydream about it anymore...i think I forgot what IT IS! LMAO

LMA...we'll have to take this conversation OFF line!!! LMAO

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

SOOOOOOO, ANNNYWAYYYYY!! Watch BC pop up! LMAO

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Posts: 1,520
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I think it's like riding a bike..... I hope so because I do want it in my life again someday.

And BC "popping up" can be taken two ways. Okay okay I think this does have to be taken offline. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
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Posts: 5,463
BLAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!

You got my on that one! I completely missed it!

Okay, you really need to get some! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LMAO


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Posts: 1,520
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I know, I know.... need to break in my new bedroom set.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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