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Still,

It sounds like regrets are upon him right now. It doesn't seem from what you've said that he really wants to go through with this.

How does this holiday season & his behavior compare to the last couple of holiday seasons? Is HE different?


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Morning Bugs,

I'm hoping that he is starting to regret his decisions. Although there is a little part of me that is saying that it's just the holidays and thats why.

Last year there was sooo much anger and hurt on my part, that the interactions we did have were LB's. The Christmas prior to that was him pulling away from us... the affair beginning. This year he is still guarded, but sometimes he lets that down. You would think that I would be the one that should be guarded. It's not like we are spending lots of time together. It's just small doses of seeing each other and talking throughout the week.

Last night I had a dream that we had to go to court this morning... and there was nothing we could do to stop it. That's all I can remember because I know I woke up with a start. I can't even remember if he wanted to stop it or it was just me.

So I don't know if we'll get called today.... hopefully the divorce before us remains in the books. I'm rambling and I should be getting ready for work.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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Still,

I'm sorry my magic crystal ball is on the fritz this morning, so I can't tell you what's going to happen today in court.

What i CAN tell you is that no matter what does happen, you will be just FINE. You have come very far and gained such STRENGTH. Don't forget that. Hold fast to that strength and the hand of the Lord who is with you today.

You are in my prayers!

{{{STILL}}}


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Still,
I just caught up today; I'm sorry I haven't been here; lots of my own stuff to deal with.

Are you saying that you could be in court for finalizing the D today? Please post when you can.

The holidays can be a weird time, with a WS. I would definitely exercise caution.


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Hey Bugs,

When you gonna get that crystal ball fixed....I'm sure many of us here could use it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I know I'll be fine no matter what happens, I'm just hoping it'll be recovery of my marriage.

Silent... no problem I understand you also have so much going on. I'll pray that everything goes okay with your surgery.

Well we didn't get called to court today... I was antsy until around 9:30 when I knew absolutely we wouldn't get called. So the way I'm looking at it is I have a few more weeks repreive. I am trying to be cautious, it's just I want this so bad I can taste it.

Now I think I'm going to work on a letter to give him Christmas Eve. Any ideas?

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
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Things are still going about the same. There is no more anger when we talk, sometimes we even laugh. No talk yet, not sure if I should push it or just continue to be "still".

Last night he offered to bring home DS after hockey practice so I wouldn't have to go out again. I told him that would be very helpful. When he brought DS home he again shoveled the front porch... even though he's not feeling well.

This morning I TM him to ask how he was feeling. He called me a couple of hours later... saying he just woke up and was taking a day off from work so he could Christmas shop. I offered to go with him as I have shopping I need to do also. He told me he was already halfway there, but he would call me later to talk about Christmas presents. We ended the conversation laughing. So that's where we are today. I will see him tonight at the hockey game.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 63
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Stillhurting, how are you doing?

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BA,

Thanks for asking. I'm doing okay. Trying to get myself into the Christmas spirit. Believe it or not it was a lot easier last year to get myself there.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
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Hey Still!

Sounds kind of like, so far so good?

While you are being 'still' it looks like things are happening for the good. Somehow I think you will know if/when to say anything further about the M.

What do you think?


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Quote
BA,

Thanks for asking. I'm doing okay. Trying to get myself into the Christmas spirit. Believe it or not it was a lot easier last year to get myself there.

Still

Based on recent development and if things continue to go the way it has been going, don't be surprise that your next Christmas will be the best you have have in years. Keep your hopes up.

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Morning all,

Should be in the shower getting ready for church. So I'll be quick.

Bugs... I'm continuing to be "still". So far our interactions have been on an even keel. Yesterday he even called me after he found out DD20 was giving me a hard time. He told me don't let her get to you. I just told him I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. He even called to ask DD and myself to meet him at a store to help him pick out something for DD17. Now this is the weekend he could be spending with her. Trying not to think about that to much. I plan on giving him a card Christmas Eve (leaving it on his door) so he sees it when he gets back from his family. I'm ready to give the best gift I can this Christmas... my forgiveness. Going to see if we can ahve a talk sometime soon about everything.

BA,
I hope you're right about next Christmas... I keep think I'm losing hope and I gues I still have little embers of hope burning in my soul.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 7
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BA,
I hope you're right about next Christmas... I keep think I'm losing hope and I gues I still have little embers of hope burning in my soul.

Still

You know deep down that I could be right. Trying to enjoy yourself for the remaining of this year, because it's over soon and next could be so much better. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

BA

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BA,

Next year can't be worse than the last 2 I guess. How I feel right now is next year can only swing up.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
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Hey Still...just saw you post and figured I say Merry Christmas before heading to bed!


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Still,

Merry Christmas sweetie!

Remember, you ARE loved - no matter what WH does or does not do these next couple of days.

As Mimi says, Chin up and Chest out my fellow Goddess!

{{{{{{STILL}}}}}}


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: Nov 2002
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Thanks Rin and Bugs,

Merry Christmas to both you and your families also.

Chin is up and chest is out.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
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Next year will be so much better, Still. I'm sure of it.

Merry Christmas!

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Still:
You've been through the wringer this year, that's for sure. It's just one 24-hour period. You can make it through.

I will pray for you, and Bugs and Rin and sd and SL tonight at mass, as I do every day. But tonight, at Mass, all filled with warmth and love and candlelight...I hope it has extra significance.

When do you go to Mass?

((((Merry Christmas, still)))))

Sis

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Merry Christmas, Still!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Hi Still,

I don't believe I have posted to you, but I want to wish you a warm day filled with lots of hope and faith from G-d.

Like Mimi says, CHEST OUT AND HEAD UP. WE ARE WARRIOR GODDESSES, who can help each other get through this and to the other side of blessings.

Bracha


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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