I'll keep that in mind for late...I have disputed a thing or two in the past...

One was my university for a late payment on a little loan...they pulled the records and responsed on time...that sucked! This was years after I graduated!

my score is really good and It'll WILL BE GREAT when i get his bike and truck off...when we got the bike, our score dropped 100 points!!

I've worked my behind off for "OUR" credit...another benefit of "ME" being HIS wife! LMAO

Well the good thing is that when you get a D his decesions will come back to bite him.

I am waiting to refinance the wife's car. Two more things to get off before I do that.

But if it goes on his report it isn't easy to get off.

Heck it is easier to get it off when it goes to collection then just late.

The collection agencies use it as a bargaining chip to get their money. LOL.

I settled about 16k for 6k with the wording I didn't agree it was mine but paid to settle so I didn't pay the taxes on it and told them because of that I wanted it off my credit report.

They said OK. LOL. Not bad.

NOTE TO SELF, Rin:

My exH made about $6-7k/mo and I made $2.5k. He could not pay the mortgage, bills, and CS on his salary (he was CONSTANTLY behind and crying poor)...yet I could pay the mortgage and bills all by myself. Hmmmm.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Do not be surprised if the judge rules that POWS owes you X amount of CS and Y amount for back rent and Z amount for back expenses...but he can take the total of back rent and back expenses and divide it by 24 to pay it to you over 2 years (or something like that). Furthermore, don't be surprised if POWS actually doesn't have money (he's spending it on wine-women-and song) and even if he's ordered to give you a lump, he just doesn't have it!

Just warning you so you don't "expect" that he will actually live up to his financial obligations. So far, his financial behavior has been consistent with his past behavior and character, so to expect anything different will be setting yourself up for harm. You may win the judgement--but you may have to try to squeeze blood out of the turnip to actually get it.

((((((((((Rin))))))))))

Your mama bee,



CJ

BTW...you sound GREAT! Like a whole new woman!

Good Morning CJ, I was just thinking about you last night!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I thought about calling but didn't! ;(


Thank you for clueing me in on what not to expect...of course, i don't expect anything from him...primarily b/c I still have his threats in my head...like "I'd rather go to jail than give you anything!"

Well, that's fine, I'm sure he'll enjoy his stay! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the compliment about sounding like a new woman, i feel like one...not this morning... LMAO

I'm mad this morning...but I'll get over it...F told me that FIl got mad at ME, b/c I didn't send good clothes with them to go visit POWS's parents...

Now, POWS brought them up there, POWS packed their clothes and IT"S MY FAULT that they didn't have good clothes to go to church in!!!!

I'm not even around adn I'm still getting blamed for HIS STUFF...like I said I'll get over it! My spon. said that it'll not really that they are mad with me, but POWS...it's just easier to blame me, b/c that's his stepson...

And who wants to admit that their stepson makes horrible choices and is not the BEST person that they can be...FIl and MIL are in denial about POWS b/c I've always covered for him...

The way I see it is that they will see soon enough...their choice...MOF, FIL's b-day is this Wed. so I'm going to have the kids call and wish him a Happy Birthday, same thing with MIL's b-day on the 22nd...

I just figure it would be nice, I know thta they will love to talk to the kids...this is just me being me...regardless of the sitch with me and POWS...

Who knows, one day they may apologize to me but I'm not going to hold me breathe either!! LMAO

Oh, Motorcycle insurance is due and I was going to pay that but have come to the conclusion that I'm not...both bikes are in POWS name, I don't drive either one, nor do I have possession of them...ins. is also in his name...so if it does get cancelled that not my problem...no flags on my license!!! LMAO

So, that was an easy decision...that will also help me out this month with my goal of paying the mortgage on the first!It just helps me stay on track when we move back into the house, and we will move back into the house...POWS HAS TO PROVIDE a place for us to live...so, I'm pretty confident that we will be granted use of the home...

Oh, POWS will have a lump sum that he can give me...401K...he "can" take a loan out of "OR" close the whole thing to pay me...but once again, I know I can't expect that!

I'm doing well with the way things will work out...all just as it needs to...that's really to far in the future to try to figure out...of course, it doesn't stop me from trying...LMAO...running the number in my head...debt, assets, back CS, etc...

I am looking forward to getting POWS tax return this year!!! You know since he's behind on CS...and claiming the kids...I'm looking forward to that too!

So, I'm trying to look for the positive in this whole thing!

Like LA says "it takes as long as it takes!"

AmI, you can understand that one huh? why I'm so patience? I've learned that I can't force a solution no matter HOW BAD I WANT IT!

This judge is really TOUGH, POWS was better off with the other one that we had!!!!

CJ, I think about the story you've told me about wanting the judge to tell WH that he was bad...well, this one will in a heartbeat...he doesn't play around!!!

My Spon. is looking forward to being in court with me that day JUST to hear what the judge has to say...she's also instructed me NOT TO LOOK OR SAY ONE WORD TO POWS!!!! The only time I can look at him and it has to be directly in the eyes is when we are leaving the courtroom! Another friend will be with us that day too! So, I have my support lined up!

Or should I say my heavy weighs to keep me in line should I feel the need to react!!! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, I need to get something done today, let's seeeee!

Thank you all for your support! I really appreicate it! it really helps to keep my sanity...POWS has the kids this weekend and I have nothing on the books either...LMAO...of course, that hasn't stopped me from finding something!!!

Rin,

You have a lot on your plate but are doing a wonderful job of managing it all! You Rock!

As LG would say "the Karma bus is about to arrive at POWS's stop'. Sounds like that judge will be driving the bus!!

I understand about the blame thing! Later I will post on my thread but I had an issue with DSS last night about Anger. His is directed at everyone but the person responsible for his pain - Drac. Poor baby has no idea of of to handle this.

Anyway, you are doing great! Have an awesome weekend!

Rin,

YOu are entitled to part of the 401k to. LOL

I am sure your lawyer knows this but you should be garnishing his wages for support.

Now and in the future. I know men who opted for that because the ex wife would hold the check and cash it late just to say the ex husband didn't pay on time.

Ask the lawyer to make sure that it is part of the D.

Remember how I told you his actions were helping you. This may be another instance of that.

There is the positive. You will not even need to see him to get the child support. It will be taken right from his check!!!!!

AH, BUGS! I saw the bus pull up to the HN1's house a few months ago...then, I saw it cross the street...it's been sitting there for a while now! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BC pointed that out...MOF, I drove by the house a few times this week...checking on things...trying to figure out this gut feeling that I have right now...

Doesn't look like HN1's living there, could be in the process of moving...I could call her MIL but have thought better of it...her MIL is a backstabbers too, I THINK that's why the two of them don't get along and I figure I can figure this thing out for myself...

Frog, I HAVE requested the garnishment already, my lawyer KNOWS that when we FINALLY walk into court this is one of the things that I REALLY WANT...so that's in the works...and I think that it's a justifiable request given his history of NON-payment...

You are very right indeeed Sir...MOF, your POV has helped tremeniously with me being patience...i just told my co-worker this morning that POWS has three more visitations to screw up b/f court...I actually look forward to seeing JUST WHAT HE WILL DO NOW...

Of course, I have to admit that not getting CS right now is pissing me off a little! Soon enough, things will all be straighten out...

POWS did TM me this morning wanting to know if he was getting the kids...I just TMed back a simply YES...

Of course, I would love to keep the kids and not allow them to see him but that would be me being mean and hateful...well, wanting too at least...of course, I know that would not look good on me, and I'm the one who takes the higher ground anyway...

Oh, F wrote Spon. a note this morning asking if she would pick them up from their dad's Sunday...F's thinking is if Spon. picks them up then he has a better chance of leaving with some toys that he wants...if POWS drops them off at my AUnt's then POWS will not let F take what he wants...

F will have to learn on his own...it's a shame that he feels that he has to try to control the sitch to get what he wants...this too shall pass...once we are in the house, F will not have to do this...I hope that it works out for him! poor kid! makes me just want to hug him and tell him that it will be okay...

MOF, when I told him about the new court day, he asked if I was sure that it was going to happen...I said that I wasn't and all we could do was pray that no one got sick and nothing came up for anyone...He's been ready and like me, he doesn't want to get his hopes up...

For the most part I think that him and L are doing extremely well...they have really adjusted good!

F sees SOOOO MUCH fo what POWS is doing and has done...he still loves his dad and I understnad and remember that but I can tell you that he's not happy with his dad's choices...either ask to call him or see him...just accept that it's DAD'S weekend! And I'm sure you can see why F really wants to go over there, he wants HIS stuff!

I have no doubt that this will all work out the way it should and I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HALF THAT 401! LMAO...

I wasjust joking the other day that if POWS keep this up, his going to owe me more than Half! LMAO...

When I hear "I find for the petitioner" he will owe me my Attorney fees also! Poor thing...it's not hard for me to watch him dig his own grave these days!

Hey Rin!


I hear an engine winding up,,,,,,,quite a loud rumble,,,,,,I have to cover my ears for the noise,,,,,,sounds like it's up to about 80MPH,,,,,,DUCK! HIDE! The impact from that bus is gonna splatter POWS all over the place!!

Just sit back and wait for the smoke to clear my dear!!



You got it. Keep on making your plans. Keep on focusing on you and your kids!

Have a Great weekend!

Hi, BUGS! LMAO HAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!

That was cute! Look I'm online outside of work! Awesome!

Well, kids are at their dad's this weekend! I went garage sale shopping this morning...got a few things I needed! Can't get a whole lot of want things right now!

The real point to going was to pass out flyers to the garage sale owners asking for the leftovers...the board they I'm on is having a rummage sale in Oct. to raise money to purchase a building to house meeting...

I already have got one call to pick up stuff...so, I have to go get that and I have three or four more pickups this afternoon...

I didn't have anything to do this weekend but I sure did find a way to create something for me to do! LMAO

All for a good cause! Well, guess I'll head out and take care of this stuff!

Have a great weekend too!

Just wanted to pop in and say I am so glad you are doing well. Enjoy the weekend.

WEll, hi, E! Got connection, WOW! THanks for popping in! Good to see you!

Well, I busted my butt yesterday collecting donations...I didn't finish until 6:30 and filled up half of a two car garage! THe Chairman of the Board said that she never thought to do what I had done. She was very happy and we have plans to do it again next weekend... I ended up making seven loads, loading and unloading by myself for six of them...but it was my baby...

WEll, I got the boys back tonight and come to finsd out my dog is now living with someone else AGAIN! So, POWS can't care for the dog, but "thinks" he can care for the kids! WOW! WHat a life, to live day in and day out in denial of reality...got to love it!

Soon, enough...37% of this D is over...I'm getting there...

WEll, I have to go read a book to the boys and get them into bed...I told tham that this was the last night that they could stay up late before school...of course, we have the weekends!

Well, I hope that everyone is doing good! Take care!

Morning! I hope that everyone is doing well, I'm having some trouble focusing on me. The kids informed me that POWS did not give my dog away but has her staying with a co-worker of his b/c he "doesn't have" the time to take care of her.

Told the kids that he's either working or very tired...So, needless to say I've been trying to figure out WHO he has her at...he brought the kids over there, and then, yesterday they visited with someone else who use to work with POWS...he's a drunk...

POWS and him brought the kids fishing...L said that he caught two fish, but the first one was too small to keep!

I'm just not having to good of a go at it today...

Rin,

One thing I'm noticing lately is that you are starting to cunsume yourself with what is going on in POWS world again. Ever notice that when you live for you, you feel great, when you worry about POWS, you feel awful. It seems like every time your life becomes too peaceful you find a way to bring the drama back.

I know drama has been a part of your entire life. I know having a happy, peaceful existence is foreign to you and is taking some getting used to. Just try to recognize what you're doing to yourself everytime things get good for awhile.

I may be off base, but I really don't think so. This isn't really a 2 x 4, but more of a pattern observation. I'm good at recognizing patterns.

Stay strong Rin, you're almost to the finsh line.

hi BC, Thank you for mentioning that, I was actaually wondering the same thing...thinking the same thing...

That's why I posted on it...thinking about my dog does depress me...and thinking about her makes me think of POWS, and we know where that will get me...snowball, thinking about no CS, the bills I have to pay, and on and on and on...

I don't think that you are off base at all...I can say this and correct me if I'm wrong my bad days are fewer and further apart...

I started last week with this "I'm going to get him" attitude...like catch him at something else b/c he's trying to mess with me on this bike and God knows what else and I don't have to "get him"...

It will all work out the way it's suppose too...things are just tight right now, and it's wearing on me...

I'm doing my best right now, this week I'll be really busy and that's a good thing...there are something that I know I need to stop doing b/c I was thinking that if I don't I'll become engrossed with POWS and that's so not what I want to do...

All this on the way to work this morning, the self-doubt comes back, all those emotions that I had when I left...

So, I just need to recenter and focus and that's why I posted...Thanks BC, I appreciate the observation...no 2X4...LMAO...same thing I was thinking...

MOF, I'm giving a little depressed about some others things with myself too!

What excellent cross examination that will be for POWS..Mr. POWS, you have a dog, don't you? And you've asked someone else to take care of that dog for you, isn't that correct? Isn't it a fact you asked that person to take care of your dog because you are working or too tired? How do you expect to take care of your children full time if you can't take care of a dog?

Make sure your attorney is aware of this....

Regards,

BB

BB- See I think that's an excellent point too! And he wants the kids 7 and 7...he's crazy...I definitily will let my Attorney know...

I tell you what this dog is going to be well traveled...first she lived at the neighbors, then, went back home, and now, she's with someone else...

I would love to hear the judge say something like "Mr. POWS is this what you intend to do with your kids!"

At least they had bathes and were feed yesterday, fast food once again but they ate!!! POWS even commented that he was surprised (this to my SPonsor) that L was starting to branch out with what he wants to eat. From what I hear, L asked for something to eat and POWS was surprised that L ate that now!

I think my main problem today is self doubt, thinking that maybe my plate's too full, negative self-image that hit me Friday...I'm trying to learn how to write grants and perhaps I'm "doing" to much and not "being!"

Rin,

You are learning to write grants? WOW! That is so Great and such a challenge! I know folks thru my work that do that and I know what all of this entails.

Instead of filling yourself with self doubt, you should be proud of yourself for your bravery and dedication to improving yourself and your skills! Heck, there are people that make entire careers out of writing grants and make major bucks!!

Go Rin!

hurry up and learn, I could use a grant! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Thanks BUGS, I'm trying to teach myself and I was reading the book and started thinking "I don't know if I can do this!"

But I want to be one of the one's that gets our building for the non-profit that I have been elected to the board for...I want to help make that happen...The chairman was telling me that they have been looking for two years and can't really find anything that would help us...

So, I'm trying...that was the whole point to all that work I created for myself Sat...it was definitily too much work for one person, but I got it done...today, after work I'll be going over to help sort and price everything!

Oh, that reminds me I have to call and place an ad, I'm in charge of advertising with my board position b/c I have some experience...

Thanks again, BUGS, I'm really nervous about this grant writing...it would be SOOO much easier if I had someone with experience to help me out, give me some pointers or something...

LMAO...BC...I could use one too! LMAO

That's what started this whole mess, My mom sent me a book on where to find them, so Friday night I went to the book store and picked up a book on how to write them...

I would love to find one to go back to school, or for improvements on the house...whatever...

LMAO...