Rin,

Thank you for responding...I am going to answer you on the Owning your Villagers thread from your post...gonna quote you from here, over there.

Here's why I'm choosing to do that...

I see your thread filled with these marvelous posters who are your support...give you practical advice, and practice their advice. I see them knowledgeable in ways I cannot be--about the divroce process, long-term separation, and all things necessary for you right now.

My reply is more inward, a path I know better, which doesn't have a situational application. I don't want to "muck up" your thread in this way. And I fear being mocked for what I do know inside...not by these posters, but others. So I'm acting on my fear, which I repeatedly tell you NOT to do...and I'm inviting anyone here to view our posts on my thread and reply.

I also want to share how much my heart swells seeing these posters on your thread...how you support each other...this act of loving mutuality touches me greatly...and I appreciate your thread and want to honor it. I pray for all posters to know how much they ripple, affect and lift up others. From their choice to share and be shared with.

LA

Oh, Bugs! Sweetie, I hope that you get some rest soon! I did go back and reread my post...I've been resisting urges all week...so, thank you...it's hard choices to make with every thought that pops into my mind...

Part of it's not wanting him to know that he's "affecting" me...

Still- Thank you for being here, loving and supporting me, same with you Bugs...I appreciate you!

LA- I printed your post and need some time to think things over...I can say that I did come to the same conculsion that you mentions...I think that I am in a major growth process there....

F said today int eh car on teh way home something like "I'm tire of offering my help and OP not allowing/accepting my help or when they do they are ungrateful."

I said "well, that sounds like you are building up some resentments, and there's some expectation in there." I explained about expectation, and wanting an outcome from a person that it's OUR outcome and not what the OP is capable of giving...I really shocked myself, b/c I was able to share my experience with him and I felt like I really connected to him different than ever before...

He was my equal at that point...fasinating...then, I was reading your post on Owning and I saw what I was doing, which I was just explaining what I saw that I thought F was doing!!! Strange!!!

I started my ADs again today...after like two weeks...I found that some REALLY old behaviors were settling in the past two days, unreal thoughts...so, I'm trying to face the reality that this is something I may have to do whether I like it or not...

I'm not processing life well, and I just wanted to shut down the past two days...sleep, whatever...just to get away...

I got up this morning early and did some things, then went back to sleep til 1pm...then, i had to run some errands and decided to bring the boys to the bookstore even through I didn't feel like it...I certainly didn't want to read and yesterday, I even turned the radio off b/c that was too much for me to handle...

So, when I got there the boys ran off to play and I thought well, let me see if I can handle something to inspire me...I picked up this one book, kind of 12 step related and begin to read...I feel a bit better, well, a whole lot better in comparision to before...realized some things...it was good for me...

We stayed long than we normally do and the boys were actually picked books out and reading them, well, I sat, read, and wrote some things down from this book, mostly prayers...

So, as soon as I can, feel like I can handle the reply I will post to LA's thread...

Thank you for ALLL of your tremendous support...reaching out right now has been alot of effort and not easy right now...but I'm doing it, and have to pat myself ont eh back for that...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Morning! Well, L got on the bus this morning! My baby's officially in K...we almost missed the bus!

It's been interesting this morning! Well, let me relax a little bit this morning!

Mornig, Rin!

Ours start back in school next week, can't believe the summer is over already! Are you having to drive the kids to a bus stop, or does the bus come by where you are now, too?

First week of Kindergarten ..... he's got to be so excited! How are you feeling?

Thinking about you!

-AmI.

Morning, I'm having to drive them across town to the sitter's to meet the buses...having to get up earlier and leave the house earlier for L's bus...

It's a hassel TBH, but soon enough! When we are back in the house, they can get on the bus at home, and we can sleep later...it's only a fifteen minute drive, but they are both at the beginning of the route...

At our house, they will be at the end...L's school is also right behind our house, so this morning, I had to go by the school to pay for L's lunches...I had to pass by the house...

I feel pretty good about L going to school, I found myself a little earlier wondering if he was okay, and thought about calling but I know that he's find...I don't remember worrying about his last Oct. when he was with POWS mom like this...

All in all, I'm still down but I came to the conculsion that, like I mentioned on LA's thread that I figured out I'm doing some grief work here...really sad, with moments of feeling okay, not happy, but okay...

L had not problems getting up and getting dressed this morning for school, now tomorrow he doesn't go, the second half of the class will go and then they will all go Wed. I truely hope that he likes his teacher, and he has a wonderful day...lunch should prove interesting for him, he doesn't eat much of anything...we've been working on it, and he has branched out but still picky...

I'm sure he'll do fine...I'm looking forward to hearing what he has to say this afternoon...

Thanks for asking and thinking of me!

Please remind me that God does not give you more than you can handle...

My service engine light soon has been popping on and off since last week...I just got my oil changed...anyway, Thurs. I am having the ignition switch changed b/c my key likes to get stuck in it, so I figured I better do something about it before it get permanately stuck in it...

So, my mechanic is going to check this light out while it's there...now, I have almost 90k on this car, it's a 2001...I guess I really can't complain most of the stuff I've done to it has been maintainance since I've left...

I just don't feel like I'm handling things well these past few days...it sems like things are hitting me like a ton of bricks...

SIGH....

Rin:

How many keys do you have on your key Chain?

If you have more that 4, and a bunch of other things on the keychain, pictures, thingamabobs, etc, it will mess up your ignition.
And then you have to replace the ignition switch.

The keys ground down the inside of the switch and it no longer works.

Just a suggestion...

90k on your car? What kind? I have a 2002 with 127k, and feel its just getting broken in!

But repairing it is cheaper than a new one!

LG

I would say normally no but then not everyone listens.

IMVHO you are heaping these things on to your plate.

I would stop take a deep breath and decide on a reasonable course of action.

You are a single working mom. That is a huge responsibility. The dropping off picking up getting them ready doing homework. You know what it requires.

Then you have your Al Anon. Now a non profit board member etc.

It seems to me you can handle it all if everything goes well.

When it doesn't it becomes a strain.

I personally cannot do a lot of different things because when I get involved, I get involved. I am type A- meaning I am not a full on Type A but close enough.

I know my weeknesseseseeseses. So now I make sure not to over extend myself.

With the car it happens. I bought myself a new car had it checked out. It was fine.

3 weeks later the check engine light goes on and the catalytic converter needs replaced. 1k out the window.

I could have let it upset me but in the grand scheme of life it wasn't that big of a deal.

Try Wd40 in the lock. I spray some on my key put it in and out then wipe my key off. More wd40. I don't spray it righ into the ignition just on the key.

Do this a few time and see if it works.

I had a door that did that and it worked great.

Take it easy and pair down to the essentials until you are through with teh D.

Check your gas cap.

My check engine light came on last month and all I had to do was rescrew in the gas cap.

Mr. W

HI! THank you all for responsing...Mr. W, I read about that in my manuel on the way home...thanks!

LG, I have exactly four keys, and don't like all those crazy things hanging, use to have more a long time ago, but separated them for that very purpose, now I have house keys and work keys...

I've spray oil on the keys once and the mechanic in the ignition once...works for a little while and then goes right back to do the same things...It's a pontiac Grand Prix by the way...good thing is that the parts were cheap, not what we thought it would be...I've got an appt. Thurs...

I'm not freaking out like I was, b/c I figured that this could be just a sense, like the O2...I was thinking at first that I've been watching my water temp gage and thinking it could be the theromsate, or the water pump, or something to do with teh radiator...I probably need to flush that out just to be safe...

but that light coming on is something with the fuel or emissions and know that O2 sense is probably about due to be changed...

Thing is I'm letting my fear get in the way right now, not that I really have a lot on my plate...I allowed my fear to grow...worst case sceneio...no car, no job, no job, no house, no house, no kids, etc...see what I mean...

I've been freaking out and I think I understand what they mean when they say a sense of well-being...well, I haven't had a sense of well-being for a few days and am JUST NOW starting to feel better...

I'm working by way back to center...I was really out in left field...I was putting my expectations on other people with teh grant-writing...that was hurting me...realized I'm doing some grieving in the process...sucking me out of center...

I have to chose what I thnk about a little better...I was talking to F about that tonight...BTW, L had a great day at school, brought home a green for conductor...so awesome...he's in bed already and F's STILLLLL doing homework...whatever he doesn't finish is his problem...

He's done nothing but homework and eat...and then, i read and explain social studies to him...boy, that was a long time ago...economics of our state and how "he" affect that's...I enjoyed talking to him about it...next time I'll do that last...of course, he didn't do what he was suppose to when he got off the bus at the sitter's again...

I've got something for him...well, thanks everyone I worked a lot of the freaking out on LA's thread...I still HAve a lot to post....LMAO...I only posted half of what I figured out...so, I'll get around to posting the rest at a later date...surprised I ahve connection tonight...

Well, I;m waiting on F, and then I'm going to bed too...It appears that my meds REALLY affect my sleeping, but I would rather have the sleeping problem than the lack of feeling well...oh, the nightmares were a side effect from withdrawal...GOT TO LOVE MODERN MEDICINE!!!

Attitude and perspective!!! I'm working on it!

Hi, I just wanted to say that I'm around, we had a bad storm come through Monday afternoon and we lost our interest...just got fixed today before lunch!

I'm working with some backward @ss people...mom and pop...

Crazy...outside of that, I'm doing well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Catching back up on your thread...

and I thought...

One could say (and you know they could)...

Your "Check Rin-gine" light came on.

:::laughing and sputtering chewed salad out my mouth:::

Well, one COULD.

Maybe later I'll tell ya the best Check Engine light story I know.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

LA

LMAo....It's saying I lack knowledge but not in the areas that they lack it!!! LMAO

I'd love to hear it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BTW, I read your post on "Owning" and will be posting when I get a better opportunity with some quiet time...

On second thought it's because I know too much about this company...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

it's cuz you are JOAT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You got that right! Hurray, i'm talented! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Actually, it means you know just enough about everything to get yourself in TROUBLE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

LMAo...it's that always the case! Just got a call from one of F's teacher...day 6 and he's not on task and talking!

The storm made you lose interest?

MR has the same car as me I bet.

By the way if you are keeping track this is the 3rd catalytic converter I have gotten replaced in the last 5 months.

On my old car it got stolen. On my wifes car it went bad but at least it was under warranty and now on this car it went bad.

Well I hope you got your interest back nice having you around.

LMAO...:)...I would correct it, but it's too funny!

(((FROG))))