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Very big difference. You and POWS are adversaries in this case. The Judge is the impartial mediator (so to speak). If he were to speak to you without the other party present it could be construed a dozen different ways. In the case above, the father was working WITH the Judge to help his daughter. The father wasn't a party (civil) or a defendant (criminal).
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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OKay! I just emailed my friend to...briefly explained the sitch... IT IS really frustrating that it APPEARS that POWS is getting away with MURDER... On a positive note, I'm looking forward to this rummage sale this weekend, it's for the non-profit organization that I help chair...I'm hoping that we turn a good profit...we have a local grant that will match what we make... I've done all the adversiting that I can for it, but I'm also looking forward to getting this over with! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Also, my pressure washer WILL BE IN TOMORROW!!!!!! AWESOME!!!! Thanks PM for the advice...I would hate to screw up something at this point...whether it's the actual tools or the money in the long run I'm cool...I just really want all of this over with...also is there the possiblility that community property can be settled before the final date... i know BC has worked all of that stuff out, but my sitch has been soooo drawn out...I'm tired of dealing with this LITTLE BOY!!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Would you consider that you used to wait to feel righteous anger, reactive pain or deep fear before you would permit yourself to act (and mostly do this unconconsiously)? We wait for proven provocation...or not so proven (why I assumed so much)...as if we felt enough of something, we would act and enforce a boundary...which usually meant we'd do it passionately or emotionally...and way over the top. You noticed you no longer have these emotions in the mornings, getting everyone's daily routine kicked off...mostly by kicking butts...can you see the permissions in there that now are not? You enforce, anyway...and that's what you're doing to notify the court, in the proper way, that POWS violated their orders. Not acting because you're hurt or ticked off...because you clearly see the violation and you're doing the right thing. This is how we retrain our brains...just like your morning routine...chose a different perspective or perception...stop focusing on how to get others to do and mind what we do...which changes everything. Brings that peace you love and delight...that satisfied sigh...all as results from holding yourself to doing without having to feel first. Helps us to stop reacting to our feelings or living from them, I think. All part of the retraining. And hey, on that dream...what a GREAT dream IMO. Wow. Mine of DH and OW were always flipping me off, laughing, walking away and the message...you deserve this. Thanks for reminding me that I don't have those dreams anymore. And you won't either...you know they cease over time, with your own changes...and now that you're SLEEPING (big, humungous kudos on that, Rin)...who knows what dreams may come. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> LA
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Would you consider that you used to wait to feel righteous anger, reactive pain or deep fear before you would permit yourself to act (and mostly do this unconconsiously)? Most definitily! and that's what you're doing to notify the court, in the proper way, that POWS violated their orders. Well, I'm a little confused about what way that is right now...I was fine with what I had done with notifing my lawyer...and now I'm not sure if I've done my part or if my part's not over yet... And hey, on that dream...what a GREAT dream IMO. I agree, LMAO...most of the dreams I have or nothing like this one...I'm usually fighting with POWS and OW...so the change was nice...I think that it was a result of OS seeing reality for what it is even when MIL tells him different...he's a really smart kid... On the sleep thing...some nights are good like last night and others are not so good...I'm really happy with I get a night like last night...the first two nights I was in the house were like last night and then I went on a strecth of waking four or five times a night for a while... Thing is it doesn't stress me out like it use too! Now, I've had a new little something added to my plate this morning...YS! School called said that he's been crying at school this past week, complaining his head hurts...I don't know if he's REALLY sick, no symptoms...or if it's more of not wanting to go to school...he fought MIL last year about going to school... So, I'm friends with the Master teacher that's there and she going to get the IC to talk to him then call me... So, plate's full...all others issues and problems will have to take a backseat until something is solved or needs to be put on the back burner for a while....
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Oh, FYI...before PM's post I did try calling the judge this morning but didn't get an answer and the aswering machine was not on according to the message that I got!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Well, I'm a little confused about what way that is right now...I was fine with what I had done with notifing my lawyer...and now I'm not sure if I've done my part or if my part's not over yet... Notifying your attorney WAS the right way to do it. If you're not satisfied that they're following up then you keep following up with THEM until they DO something (i.e. request a hearing, file a motion, call POWS attorney, etc.)
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Well, there's where I am presently...following up b/c I have a few things that need to be taken care of right not...the holiday schedule and the possession that he took... Funny, I left with the trunk of my car packed and HE leaves with the back of his truck and a 16' tandem axle trailer, packed!! I have witnesses BTW!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> So, I'm waiting to hear back from para or lawyer right now...there's some stuff that I've asked to be typed up and send to POWS's attorney...
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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PrincessM, I would disagree only in that the judge has already issued his ruling. This call has nothing to do with the case...which has been settled. This is informing the judge that his order has not been filed. If the case had not been settled, i would agree 100% with your advice.
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In other words, he is no longer an impartial mediator...he has heard the facts and issued his ruling...set of instructions...I see no reason to not inform him of the facts.
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I don't think the case has been settled. Am I wrong about this Rin? They only had a temporary hearing and some orders were issued. If he violates the order, then it's up to the attorneys to file a motion for contempt. The case is still open and won't be closed until the final decree is signed by the Judge.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Perhaps I am wrong...I thought it was settled.
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The order is a result of a temporary hearing. This is common in family law. Even if the case were closed, she would still have to file a motion for contempt to reopen it. I seriously doubt the Judge would even consider speaking directly with a party to a lawsuit, unless that party were pro se and it was an exparte hearing.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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WHEN WE WENT TO COURT IT WAS STRICTLY FOR cs, CUSTODY, USE OF THE HOME...the judgement is being typed up by POWS' attorney...so, no I think we are far from closing the case!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Well, I just got the fax from my lawyer on the joint custody implemention plan with the holiday schedule and clauses...
I reviewed it and called to make the changes that needed to be made...my lawyer's office still doesn't have a copy of the judgement yet..so we are sending this over to see if this will fly with POWS and his attorney...
No word on the other stuff yet...para's still waiting to see...
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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WOOOOO HHHHHOOOOOOOO! THe pressure washer's in a DAY early...I'm dressed to try it out, just waiting on OS to get some homework done before we go play! OMG< I'm SOOO excited...we pulled it out of the box and it smelled like gas, normally I don't like that smell, but it was the smell of a new 142cc toy!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> MY TOY! I OWN IT!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Oh, it was well worth the expense, I've NEVER owned one before...borrowed or hired people to do it for me...so I'll get a return on my investment after two house cleaning!! WOOO HOOOO!!! No new toys for a while...not like this, I got pretty much everything I need except a ladder...so I'm good...the upkeep on the house is an open and shut case BABY!! It's a good month to clean a house!! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Well, THat will have to wait til tomorrow...I have no oil!
None, and I didn't replace what I usually carry in my car...
I did notice also that POWS did SOMETHING to the lawnmower while I was gone too...the covers off...I may ahve to repair that too...I'm sure that it needs an oil change anyway...I'm sure that he didn't do that...I usually cared for my lawnmowers...
Let's just give another thank you to my DAD and SD...my dad for teaching me this stuff and my SD for always telling me to never depend on a man...
I don't know everything by far but what I do knwo gets me by...and I'll willing to learn and be taught!
LMAO...
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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At least he didn't take BOB that would be one power tool he would have a hard time explaining to the court.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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Bob??? Bob?????????????? Bob??????????????????????????? I think I get the reference now Rin! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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LMAO....BLAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAAA!!! Funny how THOSE things come UP when you least expect it!!! THanks Frog!!! That makes for a perfect day!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Hey, FROG...you got any wholesale websites that I can maintain BOB with? You know someplace to buy in BULK???? LMAO....BLAHAHHAHAHHAHA! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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