Morning again! I had a pleasant TM convo with POWs this morning.

I Tmed him about the kids, asking if they were at the sitter's...they are with all of their stuff...and he said that he washed their clothes and enjoyed his time with them...I said that I was glad and appreciated him washing their clothes...he said no problem and I left the convo at that...

Very civil, I hope that I can move into the direction of being more accepting of simple convos with him...

Well, I have to go, I have a meeting to go too!

You sound great, Rin!

Have a really happy Thanksgiving with your boys!


-AmI.

You too and to everyone else out there...I will be picking up the boys this afternoon after work...I was going to bring them to work with me this afternoon but we had a meeting and I have a lot of research to do and I don't think that it would be a wise idea today!

Thanks again and Happy Turkey day!

Oh, Still, I'm having trouble sending you mail...keeps returning it!

Rin,

Maybe the "noise" of POWS kept you from hearing your self-DJs...and you finally heard yourself. Great job on hearing yourself!! Seems to me you're coming to know your self is wise, loving and important. Worth listening to...especially when its saying, "Ow! Stop that!"

LOL

May your Thanksgiving be the turkiest...when you do your gratitude list, be assured you're on many of them...including mine.

LA

Rin,

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Your growth has been amazing. I agree with BC you are much more even keeled. NOt to high not too low.

Good work.

(((S4B))) I just caught up on your post. I'm sorry I missed you when you had a low day, but good to hear that it's been all uphill since then <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Happy Thanksgiving!

WOW, thank all of you for speaking up about the difference...I certainly didn't notice...LOL...but once BC spoke up about it I did have to question myself and have come to the conclusion that I have been pretty serene...

The last down I remember combo-ed with a high was a little over a month ago I think...I was talking about dating and still being Med, etc...I remember diving into some fantasy there and then having reality crash back on me...and of course me wanting to resist...wanting to dwell in the fantasy...

I spoke with a friend yesterday about a really personal topic and that moved me to awareness on a few issues of my own and last night I was saying to another friend that I was bad...this morning I called saying that and b/t the two figured out that I only thought I was accepting the person that I am...Today, i think that I REALLY accept that...embracing all of me...I think that I told myself for so long that i was bad that I believed it and that allowed OP's comments to come flooding in...now the gates closed and there's a security guard standing watch, directing traffic...

I have done things that for me are complimentary to who I am and have been okay with my choices, but b/c someone else doesn't agree or accept whatever it is, it caused me guilt and shame...a great deal of shame in some cases...thinking to myself that I should/shouldn't be this way when in reality there are tons of OP doing the same thing but I applied that pressure to myself...I'm the one that projected my emotions onto OP...by learning to own my choices, emotions, reactions, and actions, I am accepting of self...

Over the last week I have had several incidents that i could have reacted too and did, but I allowed myself to stop and take an inventory, process and then chose my action...still trying to get the hang of it...and I'm sure I will not graduate but I'm moving forward all the same...one step at a time...

I'm holding tight to your comments and what I believe to be true acceptance on who I am...someone said to me that they may not like the choices I make but they still love the person...when I came here and started learning that I would say it but didn't understand and believe it...I truly GET THAT...

So I think that b/c I am more accepting of self that I can have a R with POWS in regards to the kids but I'm not about to jump off any cliffs, run a marathon to get there, or bend over to get there...

it's taken what it's taken for me to get this far, I'm sure that it will take the same to get to that point...

Thank you all for the wonderful compliments! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> you can bet that you are all on my graditude list too...thank YOU LA...I cherish that thought...

I think all of my little villages are united and are sitting around the campfire telling stories about me when I did so and so and laughing, enjoying themselves until they are called to duty...I'm sure that some of them need a rest! LMAO... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Frog, I thought about you this morning! Like: what a shame I can't contact him outside of MB...could have used some advice specific to your knowledge for my job...pick your brain thing...oh, you have been demoted to second big brother...hope you don't mind...LOL

Rin:
I wanted to send my wishes to you for a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving.

You do sound so great; really remarkable. It is a joy to read your posts and see the growth, the strength, the optimism that comes through.

You are in my prayers every day!

Hugs!

HI, Ears, I'm sorry but I missed your post earlier...I'm glad that you stopped. Thank you, and Happy TURKEY DAY TO YOU AND YOURS TOO!

SIS, same to you sweetie...thank you so much...I hope that you are patting yourself on the back, acknowledging your accompliments also..you have inspired me so many times, the least I can do is give back...I figure the I get what I give...no expectations there, just cause and effect in my book...you know what goes around comes around...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good Morning! The boys and I are doing well! We had a great Thanksgiving and I enjoyed my time with them...

We went to visit my family for Thanksgiving and went do a little shopping Thursday afternoon...I wanted to go shopping Friday morning but decided that it wouldn't be in the best interest of the kids to drag them out with the crowds so I was able to order my stuff online...just have to wait for it to come in...which is fine, it was my Christmas present from my mom and SD...air compressor and a mechanic tool set...

I'm excited about that...outside of that we hung out at the house...didn't leave the house al day Sat. and Sun...it was raining and I didn't want to get out, take the chance of one of us getting sick...

The major update here is that I just came back from my Lawyer's office signing off on the intinal judgement and custody...it's a done deal...

I hope that we can proceed faster on the community property part...I would like to be done with all of this by the final date...

Yesterday I was reading something and it occurred to me that my part of the failure of the M was that I kept hoping that POWS would change as he got older...I expected him to be who I wanted him to be and didn't accept him for who he was...

I also thought that we had the same goals in life but that wasn't the case either...

With that knowledge I can do better in the future...I'm also not scared of making the same mistake in the future...I was extremely scared of this in the beginning when I left...the difference between then and now...I believe that I trust myself to pay attention to the red flags...I've raised the bar for myself and what I want out of life...a teammate, a partner...not just someone who doesn't drink all of the time, who doesn't hit me, and someone who goes to work...

I want more and don't feel that I will backdown...I will not accept unacceptable behavior in the future...

Also, I noticed this weekend that I still do miss POWS from time to time but it's not like a ton of bricks hitting me, it's more like a soft breeze blowing that you notice from time to time...I turn my face to it, feel it, and then next thing I know it's gone...until the next time...

I understnad that there will be a day when I won't even notice that breeze blowing...and the only reason i think that I'm feeling it now is because we put the Christmas tree up and I've been thinking about inviting POWS over for Christmas morning to watch the kids open up their presents...

But I won't do this, simply b/c he made his choices and I made mine...my family is smaller today and I accept that...we both chose for whatever reasons to be where we are today and I have to move on b/c we are not together and will not be together...and I'm okay with that...

Sometimes I still wish that it would have worked but he has the right to live his life the way he sees fit and so do I...I don't have to approve and neither does he...

I AM okay and I will continue to BE okay...even signing the papers this morning didn't affect me...I'm moving on and am happy with that...

Thank you all for your help in my journey...for the hand up when there was a rock or mountain to climb...for the support on the down side of that climb...I can't think of a better place to end up then here...

Where's BC? HEEELLLLLOOOOOOO!!!!!

We need a party! if you don't know, us, [email][censored]@$$es[/email], will throw a party for any reason and I just found one!!!!

Celebration DAY FRIDAY!!!

LMAO....i'll let you all guess!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

The air compressor and tool set will be in that day?

You can BUILD us a dance floor .... and a wind machine. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


I'd come to that party! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

-AmI.

LMAO....NO, but good try...I'm hoping that they will be in this Wed.

hint: I'm almost ready to pop!

LMAO...this should be fun!

****** :that's kisses to YOU, AMI!!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

To pop???? You better not be pregnant and not have said anything all this time! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Big promotion?????

Pregnant!!!! HECK NO!!!! My tubes are tighted!! Thank GOD!!!

but the concept is there!

LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, geez .... pregnant "concept" .... now you're just playing with me .....

This is going to drive me nuts!

Gonna be an aunt?
Puppy having puppies?


Not a promotion or a new job, huh?


Got into a smaller clothing size? Outgrew your smaller clothing size?


Getting new silicone "girls" ...... ?


There's smoke coming out of my ears! Too much thinking!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

BLAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA!!!!

I'm rolling my A of here! Oh, what a good day!!

Nope, none of that!!! LMAO....

Timeline, sweetie!!!

I've got tears I'm laughing so hard!!!

Silicone "girls"! COOL! THat would be cool!

ready to pop .... pregnant concept .... timeline .....


Those are HORRIBLE clues! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Ok, I'm thinking some kind of anniversary.
A job anniversary?
2 months of being back in the house?


Or maybe it's been 9 months since something .....
...since filing?
...since you replaced Bob's bateries?
...since you left the house that you now are nice and cozily back home in?


I need better clues, the easy kind that are meant for the simple-minded and distracted! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

just for AMI!!! LMAO... I lOve you! You are awesome!!! I love the nine months to replace Bob's batteries!!!

it's nine months that POWS has been served!!! not so fun now!!! Not much longer and this will ALL be a thing of the past... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, I talked to him earlier...civil conversation...I let him talk to the kids and he will be stopping by tomorrow to pick up his mail...we have a problem with the cable company, you know the one that was in his name...

They billed for another month, so I told him about it and he's going to have to deal with it...I haven't paid the bill or anything...from what I hear this is something that happens often with this company...

So, almost nine month, I talk to him, it didn't bother me in the least, I didn't feel anything...good conversation, I said what I needed to say and nothing more...

Ah .....

Well, that's not as fun as getting new girls or fresh new batteries, but it is party-worthy. I remember when you were counting by the day and week. 9 months is a long road, and you have done a pretty darn impressive job of traveling it!

Will you have to go back to court to get a final settlement inthe next 3 months? Or do you think you guys will be able to come to an agreement? I'd hate to see you have to wait again, as long as it took for them to get you into court this time.

Congrats on making it 9 months, and still having that head held high!