Hey Ron - If you haven't exposed to the OM's W... then you need to do it immediately!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Actually Ron, why didn't you introduce some conflict in wonderland by banging on the door? He's banging on your wife so it seems only fair to me.

Seriously, why didn't you knock on the door? I would have!

Big, I was tempted to....I really wanted to, the only thing that stopped me was my daughter in the back seat.

How's it going Ron?

I don't have much time as I've got a plane to catch in a little bit...

Hope you're doing well, and that you've really thought about exposing the A... You guys can't start rebuilding until the A is over and exposure is the best way to make that happen!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Thanks RIF...I appreciate your comments, and everyone else's!

It's going, just trying to digest all the latest developments. After seeing the slime's car in front of her apartment, I guess I can say that I'm not surprised, but I am really disappointed in her.

I have exposed it, but after the latest, I'm going to be going at it again, with a lot more enthusiasm. When I spoke to Mrs Slime, I don't think she really believed me. She's never really been too strong I don't think, and has a hard time even leaving the military base she lives in.

Since my first talk with her, I haven't spoken to her, but the time has arrived for that to change.

As I mentioned, I'm going to be speaking with Jennifer Harley tomorrow, (I made that appt before seeing what I saw) I'll let you know what she has to say.

Thanks again, everyone....You're a big help.

Ron

Hey Ron,

Is the OM in the military?????

If so, then you MUST expose to his Chain of Command! That's a sure fire way to bust up the A...

Your goal is to END THE AFFAIR! Once his CofC is involved, they will have to take action...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey Ron

Give us an update after you speak to Jennifer

I just got off the phone with Jennifer.. In a nutshell, she believes that my risk of financial ruin outweighs the benefits of calling the OW again.

So far, my wife doesn't want my pension, spousal support, or child support. If things get nasty, she could attack me for all of that, and she would get it, leaving me living in a shoe box eating cat food. Her suggestion is to wait until I get a legal separation before I rock the boat anymore....If it's gone on this long, a bit more time won't matter too much. After I get the paper signed, then go back to exposure, and very likely, Plan B.

Would you believe that I am having trouble getting a lawyer to call me back?? The divorce courts up here in Canada must be booming for them to ignore phone calls...I must not appear rich enough....

Jennifer's advice is to keep up with Plan A...put a mask on and suck it up until I get the legal stuff taken care of, then go wild.

The only problem I see, is that I may not have the interest to keep this up....after seeing the slimemobile, I'm already feeling like I just want to say to ****** with it.. I needed to speak with the wife this evening, and for the first time, I felt like I "had" to speak with her. I was looking for excuses to finish off the call.....Plan B may be closer than I think.....

RIF, yeah, Sgt Slime is military......he's been posted to a recruiting office not far from here.

Thanks, everyone,

Ron

Sorry Ron,

Did she Jennifer want to talk with your WW?
Thats what Steve wants me to do. But if not I'm thinking if its best to get a legal seperation too and then go to Plan B, or the other way around. Not sure yet.

I know what you mean about Plan B. I'm getting very close too. Its all just soul destroying.

Vladie

She didn't specifically ask for my wife to call...after all, if she isn't interested in it, it's pretty much useless.

Jennifer said to keep on with A (plan A) for now, of for as long as I can, she mentioned that switching to Plan B too early will enable her.. That is, it will give her justification that all my A efforts were just for show, and not anything substantive.

Sooooooo, I guess for now, it's keep on with the happy face, and keep calling the lawyers.........You'd think I could find a hungry law student somewhere....

Hey Ron - I'd follow Jennifer's instructions to the letter! Once you get everything protected, I'd go down to SGT Slimeball's recruiting office and ask to speak with the Commander, then expose him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

If the Commander trys to blow you off, then ask to speak with HIS Commander... keep going until you get someone that will listen to you...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Thanks RIF, and everyone else!

Jennifer told me to write a 'Pre Plan B' letter, to send to wife, as a tool to keep her off balance. I'm working on that right now, wow....what a tough go!

She also suggested to keep Plan A going, at least until I get papers signed....Bloody lawyers...you can't do an off the internet separation agreement here in Canada anymore, the lawyers have managed to make them useless. Now that they've done that, they're too busy to call back.

Plan A in this situation ain't easy.....but then I'm sure all of you know that!

Thanks again everyone, I'll keep you posted.

And thanks Tyk, for bumping my thread

Ron

Hang in there Ron!!!

I'm not familiar with anything regarding a separation as Mrs. RIF and I never separated... so I don't have any advice for you...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Ron,

Follow Jennifer's advice. You're getting ready for Plan B, but your situation isn't, so you need to keep up your Plan A.

Don't think about the slimemobile. And don't confront her (or him)--that would also be enabling behavior for the waywards, I think.

Think about your marriage and why you want to save it. Do you have a list of reasons why you're doing this?

And what are you doing to take care of yourself?

Thanks for the advice sd!...

All the info and intell I have on sgt slime, I've kept to myself. She doesn't know that I know anything. Not to sure why I havent let anything slip, I guess I think that that info is valuable/damaging, and once used it's gone for good.

I think about why I want to save my marriage about a thousand times a day...I don't need to write anything down, it's like a mantra. I think about it as soon as I wake up, and it stays with me all day.

As far as what I'm doing to look after myself, I'm trying to work out, see friends, do my band stuff...I spend a lot of time here... my kids are both a blessing and a curse....They give me strength to do this, but they are always needing me for something, making my personal time even more scarce than it was before!

Today I called up W and invited myself over for a visit after supper. There wasn't any reason for it, I just wanted to see her before Christmas....she's leaving for her parents' place, she's staying with them for 2 weeks over Christmas. She was very happy to say yes, and said come on over. I brought over a beer each, and I stayed for almost a couple of hours.

It was the same thing, we talked lots, laughed, had a good evening.....but she never goes beyond talking. She doesn't touch, reach out, or show any sign that she wants anything more than a platonic friend. What I wouldn't give for a thawing of the glacier!

I keep telling myself....expect nothing....expect nothing....it's going to take time....all of that.....This is the hardest thing I've ever done....but then all of you know that already!! I'm really looking forward to the other side of Christmas this year!

I'm waiting for Jennifer do my final edit on my letter....I'll post it here before I send it. And I am STILL waiting for a lawyer to call me back....

Thank you again, everyone. Have a Merry Christmas!

Ron

I'm feeling right now that I want to throw in the towel........no reason in particular, just having a hard time facing the fact that she isn't showing any interest in "us". I keep feeling like i'm making a fool of myself, especially in the eyes of my friends and family, who all feel that I should have packed my bags and moved on months ago......

We were on the phone today, as usual, very friendly...we talked about how our daughter was dealing with things, and I told her that I see a lot of sadness in her when she's with me... Wife became very quiet, almost at a loss for words.. I had a flash of anticipation....then she said, we should talk later about how we divide our time with daughter..maybe a week at a time isn't the right thing.....CRAP!

I'm soooo tired of feeling like this.. Despite what Jennifer says (that things aren't really all that bad), I'm really past ticked off. Maybe it's just the last few days, and it's Christmas......I don't know....

I could really use some encouragement and moral support right about now.....

Ron

Before you throw in the towel, why not at least try Plan B? You've never been in Plan B before, what do you have to lose by going to Plan B instead of just quit?

Plan B ron. Its coming! You're about to get there, and while it will present its own challenges, it will remove you from the emotional rollercoaster caused by your WW's behavior and allow you to work on yourself and prepare you for what is to come, whether that be reconciliation or divorce.

Really, you're going to have to deal with all this at some point anyhow, so you might as well do it as part of a plan to save the marriage, right? Stay strong, its gonna be hard on you this week especially. We're pullin for ya.

Thanks guys!

I am so ready to go underground.. The only thing stopping me is the advice from Jennifer.. I guess I should tell her what's up before I turn out the lights....

So, I'm feeling like ******, about to go dark, then my kids come home, they had visited her for supper earlier this week. One of the 15 year olds turns to me and says "I think you should ask Nathalie over for a Christmas supper, next week when she gets back from Montreal. I really recommend it". Well, I ask him why he thinks I should, and he tells me that at supper she said she missed the family thing, and when he asked her if she was looking forward to Christmas at her parents, she said something like, "oh yeah, I guess so".

Now I'm really confused! How can she feel like that, yet still want to stay away? I don't know, that's for sure.

I also got a Christmas card from her....I wasn't expecting anything at all, but I'm really put off by what she wrote...."Ron, I hope you will find the joy in you to enjoy your holidays". I don't know about the rest of you, but that's about as brutally impersonal as you can get..

I'll be looking for some good B letters very soon!

Merry Christmas everyone

Ron

Merry Christmas, Ron.