I think I'm going to sue Betty Crocker. It's all their fault.
I started making a cake today. I read half of the instructions, but it soon became apparent to me that they had written them for general use and not for my very special, unique circumstances. I quickly revised a few things to meet the needs of my situation.
I got some things out to do it. The recipe said that I needed 3 eggs. I only had one, and going to the store was very inconvenient. I decided just to use the one and a package of Egg Beaters.
I got out a bowl. It wasn't a mixing bowl like the instructions said. It was just a plain old soup bowl, but that should have been good enough. I mean, really, what do they want?
Since the cake takes so long to make and bake, and I didn't want to wait that long, I just kept dipping my spoon into the mix and eating it as I went along. I set the oven to 500 degrees and turned it on to preheat. I added 4 cups of olive oil and my eggs. The package said vegetable oil, but olive oil is so much better for you that I decided to substitute it.
I got out my electric mixer like the one pictured on the package and turned it on the highest level. (I mean, HELLO, I want this sooner than later!) Well, let me tell you, the stuff went flying EVERYWHERE! WTF were they thinking?! Since the mixer obviously wasn’t working, I just got out a spoon and stirred my mixture a few times.
I poured the mixture into the exact pan size that they said, and it didn’t even cover the BOTTOM OF THE PAN, so I transferred the batter to a smaller pan that was 3 inches deep. I like thicker cakes, anyway.
I put the pan in the oven, and go to watch some TV. Who wants to watch something bake? I have better things to do…
Well, 45 minutes later I go to check on my cake (cause it was NOT smelling good) and I notice black smoke everywhere! The batter had oozed all over the side of my pan and burning on the oven’s heating element! The rest of the cake was completely charred, there’s no way I can eat that. I doesn’t even look like a cake.
The box DID say to only bake it for 25 minutes, but really, should that be MY responsibility? Shouldn’t the cake just KNOW when it’s done and stop baking? Come on, it’s the 21st century.
So, here I am standing in the middle of a mess with a worthless burnt cake. My oven is almost ruined, I’ve got cake mixture on every surface in my kitchen, and I didn’t get to have my cake, let alone eat it too.
I don’t advise anyone here to buy Betty Crocker products. They are nothing but a fraudulent rip-off. Your kitchen could be ruined.
And I’m suing them. It’s all their fault.
Consider in affairs that the Harley version of the Betty Crocker Cake recipe is actually an antidote for relationship poison, rather than for a cake. Call it the Harley Koolaid, if you will. Even after you drink the HK, there are no guarantees of survival or good health afterwards, but it's the best bet you've got, unless you'd rather just let the relationship die - and unfortunately, advocates of that choice show up here regularly. (For a very few # of people, relationship death has a better prognosis of individual survival - but those are rare - Cherished? Are you reading???)
How many of you are mixing the antidote your way instead of Harley's way and expecting Harley's results?
You can mock the survivors about drinking the Harley Koolaid but we are survivors; what can you say for yourself??Exposure? Focusing on being the best you - changing your behaviors and focusing on what you have personal power over (which is not your WS - his thoughts, actions, feelings, etc!!!) (Oh surely we can leave out his parents - the OW's parents, the OM's parents, children, boss, coworkers, etc. I mean, really - that part of the recipe is up for interpretation, right? I can still save the victim without that can't I?)
Plan B? - Well, I don't have any intermediary - so I'll have to leave that out of the antidote!
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If you're feeling a 2x4, consider it being lovingly delivered.
This particular antidote doesn't work in cases of abuse, addiction, sociopathy or other organic psycho-neurological disorder.
If you want the Marriage Builder antidote to work in all other cases, then you just will have to find a way to acquire the ingredients and use them, in order, and proportion, and process/administer at the right temperature for best possible results.
If your child had just taken on poison, you'd been given the antidote by poison control, and you didn't have all the ingredients, wouldn't you be beating down a neighbor's door to borrow what you needed to to save your child's life?
Someone at work gave me this line -
if you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
