I will check Indiana statutes...and YOU said LEGAL RIGHTS which is the law.....YOU stated facts related to statutory law....not experience...read your own words.

I was under the impression that james was from Illinois.

The law in Indiana instructs the judge not to favor either parent in the granting of custody.

There is no express law either encouraging or discouraging joint physical custody as opposed to sole physical custody. In all cases, the judge will simply try to set up the custody situation that is best for the child.

There is a law in Indiana on joint legal custody if the judge believes that would be in the best interest of the child.

Factors the judge will consider in deciding about joint legal custody include:


Whether the parties themselves agreed to joint legal custody.
Whether each party is a fit and suitable parent.
Whether the parties are willing and able to communicate and cooperate for the child's benefit.
The wishes of the child, if the child is at least 14 years of age.
Whether the child has a close and beneficial relationship with both parties.
Whether the parties live near each other and plan to continue to do so.
The physical and emotional environment in each home.

If my H had kept my children I would have been granted custody and probably have gotten a restraining order against him stating that I was afraid he would not return the children. I would have gotten it too. His wife can do the same. It isn't legal, but it can be done and be done easily. I am glad he is comfortable with his lawyer. I was speaking against the people tellng him to not give him back. This is not good advice.

And NO, I have not dealt with the judges there... BUT I have dealt with the system in three states, PA, MD and DE...and all of them have laws vastly similar to Ind and Ill. I was advised by some to follow the same type of advice James has been given... I didn't and I have full custody...custodial and legal of my son. And I would say that Jame's STBXW is worse than mine ever was.
On top of that I am a retired cop and I KNOW .... KNOW... that laws are determined by statute...and that James has a legal right to his child until a COURT determines custody. He is afforded that right by statute....not by a judges opinion.
Again, you talked of laws... I called you on that aspect of your post. Nothing more.

Thanks for the insight GC.. it certainly helps to explain some of the things my lawyer has been telling me.

My lawyer though seems confident that we have a good case. I'm going over interrogitories with him on Monday which have to be in by Wednesday. I've listed -everything- I can think of under the statutes we use here in Indiana to determine custody.

I think it will strongly play to my favor that this -isn't- about money for me, but custody issues for her have -always- been about the money. I can show that she has said many times to me and to DSD's grandparents (who will be testifying in my favor) that she forbade contact with DSD's father during periods which he was not paying support. Ultimately this decision led to the alienation of DSD from her father (not that he did a whole lot on his end to remediate) Still, none of the information the Ice Queen was required to forward to him, none of the visitation he was entitled to was given etc for 3 years as of the end of this month. She's then turned around and taken the man who stepped up to the plate to -be- a father to this little girl and turned her against him because the IQ is mad that I want custody of my son.. this is almost the -definition- of emotional abuse... but I'm going to talk to my lawyer about it before going down that road... that'll happen Monday.

I think though, given all of the givens of that situation, it is reasonable to expect that she will do the same thing with my son.. and -that- is my reason for fighting. So that he -never- has to go through the pain I watched DSD go through for a little over a year before she finally embraced the fact that there -was- a dad in her life.. and what's better than that.. he -volunteered- for the job.

James, the fact that her parenst will testify on your behalf is HUGE!

James is from Indiana

Little town the Beach Boys weren't actually singing about.. about 45 minutes north of Indy

I wish we had instant messanger on this thing. First of all I didn't say legal rights...YOU read my words. No where did I mention anything about losing his legal rights. Second I may be under the mistaken impression that he is from Indiana. We will have to have him verify where he lives. If he is from Illinois, then you are corrent...if he is from Indiana then Illionois laws will do him no good. I am not talking about legal here...i am talking about how the judge will view that action. That is all. You are stuck on the law and I am trying to tell you that it doesn't matter what the law states on this matter. If he keeps him he will have lost all hope of custody. He may keep him for the moment, but he will lose him in the end.

GC.. who has been through this..
my lawyer who has been through this -in this town- several times

Both seem to be saying the same thing for the same reasons. I am comfortable with the advice my lawyer is giving me.

I am -not- comfortable with the situation my son is in, but I have -got- to stay in control of myself if I ever have any hope of recovering him and being able to keep him safe for the -long term-....

MEDC.. believe me, I understand your anxiety about the entire situation.. but like you have pointed out on several other threads.. the answer to your situation is not likely to be the same answer for mine.

Quote...

YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHT TO KEEP HIM WITHOUT LEGAL DOCUMENTATION....

Okay...what RIGHTS...since rights are granted by the statute.
And what LEGAL DOCUMENTATION?

I am stuck on the law because you referenced RIGHTS and LEGAL DOCUMENTATION. You...not me.

Well isn't it a small world. James I live about 25 minutes from you in a town starting with a T. We love the pork festival...ever been? I am glad that I helped explain some things for you. It is very important that you play the game behind the laws which you are doing....I took my H to the cleaners because I knew this game. I had a good lawyer who knew what to do and I won big time. I am glad you found a good lawyer.

James...

GC has NOT been through this. Her H has a baby with the other woman. I think the issue is not even remotely the same.

Your lawyer is directing you. You should follow his advice if you like him

As I told you on the phone in the past, I would have liked for you to have consulted with a father's rights specialist, but you trust your lawyer right now...back then, you were talking about firing him.

Are you purposfully not hearing me? I said my H and MY children...I am not talking about the OC..geez. I am talking about my COM!!!!!!!! I simply stated that we received the same advice in both situations. I said he gave up his right to keep his son in his home without legal papers from the court.. meaning that he did not make him stay to begin with and if he does it now it will look petty and selfish and not in the childs best interests. IF he has custody papers from the court..that is the only way he can keep him now and still look like the responable parent....

"First of all in our state you CAN NOT keep your son. You are very right in doing this. We are currently trying to get custody of my H's OC. We have a very aggresive lawyer and he said that under no terms were we to try to keep her. She is in a situation where her mother is now in a very violent lesbian relationship and has refused visitation. She is also a horrible drug addict. This is still not enough to get emergency custody. If you don't send your son back to his mother, you will lose all hope of custody for good. Our state is a very slow state when it comes to legal issues. We have been trying for custody since May and have yet to have a court date."

THIS is what I am basing my comments on.

So, DID you write this?

I guess it is statements like this that is causing our hang up. It is NOT a legal right....it may work out that way practically in most cases...but it is not a LEGAL right as those rights are defined solely by statutes...which I have provided.

MEDC.. what are your motivations for this argument with GC?

I understand your motivations for trying to put your foot up my virtual butt.. and I appreciate that. But please, you don't have to attack everyone who has a contrary opinion to yours. You've stated your opinion. I've read it. I appreciate it, and I understand why you are so enthusiastic about it, but it's not the solution for me.

I'm going to fight my fight for my son.. and win or lose, my victory is in the fighting. My lawyer is reasonably confident that we have a good chance.. that's all I can ask for right now. Vegas Odds don't do me any good going to sleep at night.. but at least there's hope. I'm not going to do anything to change the odds even more to her favor

Yes I wrote that...I was only agreeing with our states inability to work thru child matters quickly...james understood me. I was only stating the situation and mentioned the time from which is from May to now and no court date.

On the second comment..you are right I did say legal rights...i should have simply said rights. I appologize for that. The point I am trying to make is that in our state legal rights have very little to do with it. I wanted him to understand why his lawyer was giving him this advice. Nothing more.

Been there many times.. nice place <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm still learning the game behind the laws.. and how they play in the hallways.. but learning as I go, and doing everything to keep my little ducks in line and all ready to go is my job right now.. win the war.. even if that means losing a few skirmishes

and thanks for the debate...i am always glad to have a good debate with intelligent people.

me too. I guess when it comes to legal... I am trained to look for statute to support it. I'm glad we got that cleared up...I was ready to start banging my head on my screen!

James, I do not mind a differnce of opinion... I was arguing a factual issue that I didn't want you to assume was correct. The laws are very clear...how they are handled in your county might be less clear.