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Post deleted by rltraveled

Last edited by rltraveled; 09/23/07 05:14 PM.
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Good to see you around.

Sorry...don't have much else to say. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Mr. Wondering


Last edited by MrWondering; 09/20/07 07:53 PM.

FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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RLT,

Regarding the viagra ads, I wouldn't worry about them too much. I'm a lady and I use my PC for work only and a little of MB--and I probably get 30 viagra ads to my Outlook everyday. Frankly some of them are DISGUSTING. So I wouldn't worry about them so much.

OW's name and email showing up as a contact again? THAT I would worry about!!!!!I know it's going to be impossible because you feel like you're bursting at the seams, but if it were me, I would try to dig around for a few days and just investigate! Try an invisible keylogger if you can...or a GPS...or have a good friend follow him... Just reserve judgment until you have gathered some information. However, I will say this: having OW as a contact does not look good, because contacts do not just "show up" if you open an email from someone. A contact has to be created, and that would mean he purposely MADE her email a contact. Make sense?

So yeah--go into detective mode and be as cool as you can so you don't tip your hand. It never hurts to look a little! Furthermore, give him the opportunity to prove maybe he is being faithful! It may not look real kosher at this moment, but especially if OW was devious, it could be that he was just a dunder head and not unfaithful--know what I mean?? So remain calm and INVESTIGATE.

Your true friend,



CJ

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Post deleted by rltraveled

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Harumph <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, as the owner of a very small ISP (by national standards) let me weigh in on SPAM and Viagra ads. They are easy to get rid of if the ISP is willing to spend literally pennies on the job. We have been filtering for our customers for years and, for example, I have six email addresses on my home computer and I average less than one per address per day. Can't get rid of them all for technical reasons.

Next: yes, a contact can show up out of the blue on Outlook, which is the world's worst email program. It can also happen on Outlook Express, the default email program for most everyone and it is only slightly better than Outlook. Exactly how it happens is a mystery buried in the bowels of Microsoft. Contacts can also disappear for no apparent reason. One real reason is that an email shows up and gets deleted but the from address is stored as a contact. There are other, less apparent reasons.

If you have any doubts, get a keylogger. I did and it saved me a bunch of grief. Oh, and yes, a contact can also mean, uh, contact! That one is about 80% likely.

Larry

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Huh????

I've been using Outlook for years and never seen this behaviour. Ever. Never had an address spontaneously appear in my contacts.

80%??? more like 99%.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
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There are certain email programs, where being added by the other party, can cause this to happen.
In other words, OW could have added your hubby's addy, and that conceivably could have made this happen.
My email has 2 lists of contacts, one list of contacts that I added, and then one list of people who have added me. Depending on the program though, he very well may have had to "allow her add".

For sure, I would snoop further, without a doubt!

setfree #1944229 09/20/07 08:13 PM
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sh&t guys. that's all I can say.

Why wouldn't I see emails back and forth between them. I DIDN'T SEE ANY!!!

If he were trying to hide something, why would he erase the emails, but have her as a contact?

I'm clearly NOT thinking straight.

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RLT - Hello my friend! Saw you over here and thought I would see what was up. I also have microsoft email and I have never had a contact just appear. I am confused on one thing. If he uses the computer at work, you still have access thru your computer if you have his passwords. Do they use a different system? I would be very concerned about this. Last week I found a womans name on my H's contact list. If you want the whole story dig it up under frustrated on this forum. It's under my old name lostanduncertain. He swears he doesn't know who it is or how the contact got there, but I am still suspicious. Like your H, mine has been wonderful which adds to my confusion. I sent this woman a email under my H's account and check his mail regularly. I have recieved no reply. The crazy thing is that it says the contact was added on 8/14 and I check his contacts regularly and it wasn't there except for last week. I am equally confused.

I am still thinking you are my long lost twin. Scary how our lives seem to coinside (sp?) If someone figures it out for you, maybe it will explain it for me.

Hugs to you.


"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
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DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
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99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999%


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Neak #1944232 09/20/07 09:51 PM
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neak, it's an msn account. I'm trying to get in it now ...

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If he were trying to hide something, why would he erase the emails, but have her as a contact?

Outlook Express can be configured to automatically add someone as a contact if you reply to a message that they sent you. Check Under the Send options for the "automatically put people I reply to in my Address book" option.

If it IS Outlook Express that you're talking about here, it's quite possible that OW sent him a message, he replied, and then deleted the message and the reply. That would explain the appearance of the contact.


ManInMotion
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okay i'm confused. Is Outlook Express the same as an MSN account?

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okay i'm confused. Is Outlook Express the same as an MSN account?

Does your H's e-mail address end in hotmail.com? Outlook Express is an e-mail client that's included with Internet Explorer. It's found on almost every Windows PC. It can be configured to retrieve e-mail from a Hotmail account (if the account in question is upgraded to Hotmail plus) and download it to your PC.


ManInMotion
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Does he access MSN via a Web Page or does he run Outlook OR Outlook Express? What were you running when you saw the contact in his address book?

MIM is right. I think Outlook does that too.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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Where there is smoke there is usually fire. 99.9% of the time. This is how my sister found out that her H was cheating again. She had a hunch that something was just not right, even though her WH was on his very best behavior (an obvious ploy on his part to throw her off so that she would not suspect something was going on)...She checked his email and found OW in his contact list. My sis sent an email to the OW and the OW responded, thinking she was responding to my sister's WH. She talked about being so happy that they were in communication again and could not wait to their next date! That is how my sis uncovered the fact that they had been in constant contact again.

Keep an eye on the situation and if your instincts are telling you something is off about OW being in his contact list, don't ignore it.

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Hi guys, his email ends in msn.com. I always thought msn and hotmail were the same, but I am a total dumb head when it comes to this stuff.
BigK--I guess it is accessed on a web page. Let's see, I go the the website called hotmail.com. I put in his name, Mr.Rlt@msn.com, then I type in his password. His account comes up. But I notice that his is in some new format, Windows Live or something.

When I check my email, I do the same thing, go to hotmail.com, type in RLT@hotmail.com (mine is hotmail, not MSN), then my password. Mine is still the older format.

I think MiM may have it--that he got some mail, responded, and it went on to his contact list. I think. I don't know.

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Oh, you said Yahoo addys, so I see how I got confused. (This can happen easily. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) Still, these things do not just happen. That computer did not just randomly pick that addy, randomly put it in, and it just happened to be her. Something had to happen to get it there. MIM's and Big K's guesses look pretty edumicated to me.

Don't do anything yet, just keep an eye on things. Be sweet as pie, and go through every aspect of life with a fine-tooth comb. Chances are good you'll find more if there's more to find.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Neak #1944240 09/21/07 08:17 AM
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hi, neak,

the addys that they USED to use were Yahoos. He's had the msn address since 02. He said that they never used that one, but I do believe that's a lie because her name is on the contact list.

I keep thinking back. I don't look at the contact list often, just the mail. But I HAVE looked at it before, and, as a blood hound will do, I scoured the thing. I even remember once doing it with him standing over me so he could tell me who everyone was. She wasn't there.

Now she is.

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Hi guys, his email ends in msn.com. I always thought msn and hotmail were the same, but I am a total dumb head when it comes to this stuff.
BigK--I guess it is accessed on a web page. Let's see, I go the the website called hotmail.com. I put in his name, Mr.Rlt@msn.com, then I type in his password. His account comes up. But I notice that his is in some new format, Windows Live or something.

AHA! OK, clear as mud now. With Windows Live, if he uses MSN Messenger, and adds a contact, that contact will also automagically be created under his e-mail contacts at the hotmail.com site. Also, if he doesn't delete it properly from MSN Messenger, it will NOT delete the corresponding contact created under his e-mail account.

So, does he use MSN Messenger? It's possible that he added her as an MSN Messenger contact. It's also possible that he deleted her contact from MSN Messenger after talking with her without selecting the delete from e-mail option. Do you have the history option turned on in MSN Messenger? If so, you could check the location of the history files to see if he actually contacted her via MSN Messenger. And if it isn't turned on, I suggest you turn it on.


ManInMotion
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