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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out).

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Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). jmwc95 #1949186 10/04/07 12:09 AM
Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,025 USA M MrWondering Member
MrWondering Member M Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,025 USA	Thinkin', Unfortunately, New Hampshire is a two party consent state for taping telephone conversations. Still a good idea to record your conversations...just in case she says something that exonerates you. My presumption here is she WILL eventually call you. Here is a link to a resource about recording telephone conversations. Link HERE One way around these laws is using internet phone service. It's still up for debate but the telephone privacy laws apply to recording voice conversations..."recording" internet phone conversations is really recording data...not voice. Plus...the New Hampshire law doesn't apply to interstate calls. IF a out of state family member called her and recorded her saying something to exonerate you...and they recorded it...it wouldn't be illegal (I believe Federal law applies...even if they too reside in a 2 party consent state but to be sure...hopefully they are in a one party state) Good luck...you've got a tough one but in the end... YOU will make it. I promise, Mr. Wondering FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering) DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered "agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.

Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). MrWondering #1949187 10/04/07 08:42 AM
Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 735 F familycomesfirst Member
familycomesfirst Member F Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 735	http://www.divorcenet.com/fathers_rights/states/new_hampshire Here is a site that I found with some information. I'm not sure if it will help or not. Do some research in your area and see if you can get any help. A support group or father's advocacy group might be able to assist you with advice. Lay low, she filed a false report on you. Hopefully it will unravel on her.

Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). MrWondering #1949188 10/04/07 09:13 AM
Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 2,863 B Bellevue Member
Bellevue Member B Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 2,863	My 2 cents: You stated that it is SHE who initiates sex, and she initiated it the last time. The time she got pg. Could it be that she had an oopsie and had sex with you to cover up, "just in case"? People can be really devious. Another reason to get paternity testing.

Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). Bellevue #1949189 10/04/07 11:39 AM
Joined: Jan 2002 Posts: 2,546 * Blondblossom Member
Blondblossom Member * Joined: Jan 2002 Posts: 2,546	ThinkingOfMyKids are you still around??? bb Me-46yo + Husband-49yo Met 1975/ Married 1980 H had 3 month affair/D-d January 2001 Grandparents since Dec.2005 Recovered and moving on and we're looking forward to the years ahead!

Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). Blondblossom #1949190 10/05/07 07:31 PM
Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 316 B bigger Member
bigger Member B Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 316	thought Marriage Builders was about saving marriages where possible. I think that a lot of the advice offered here is not geared to that. Why are we rushing to assume W had an affair leading to this pregnancy when there is so much (and easily available) evidence that there might be a more logical reason for this? Chlamydia CAN be dormant in women. A change in body functions such as a lowering of resistance caused by pregnancy CAN be the kicker to wake it up. So your wife COULD have had dormant Chlamydia for years. Pregnancy can also seriously alter a woman‘s hormone levels, making them even less mentally predictable for us men than normal. Dormant Chlamydia would not pass from your wife to you. Therefore you are still clean. Here are some quotes from the enclosed link: http://www.drdaveanddee.com/chlamydia.html "It is possible that your one friend has Chlamydia even though the lab test is negative. This is because the Chlamydia organism doesn't always show up on the test, even though it may be present. It has a lot to do with the type of test and the way the specimen is collected." "Chlamydia can lie dormant in the body for extended periods of time, with little or no symptoms. This is especially true in the female." And: http://health.ninemsn.com.au/asktheexperts/expert2.aspx?id=60513 "Chlamydia is a very common sexually transmitted disease that can lie undetected in a woman for years. This is because in around 80% of women there are no symptoms at all, and it is an infection that is not picked up on routine Pap smears. You need to have a specific Chlamydia test done to confirm the diagnosis." "In my practice, I have found that occasionally someone has contracted the infection from a sexual liaison years beforehand" PLEASE calm down. Google Chlamydia dormant pregnancy and read about it. Gather the links together along with your results and find some legal way to get the info to your wife.

Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). bigger #1949191 10/05/07 08:20 PM
Joined: May 2005 Posts: 323 I IHadEnough Member
IHadEnough Member I Joined: May 2005 Posts: 323	Quote thought Marriage Builders was about saving marriages where possible. I think that a lot of the advice offered here is not geared to that. Why are we rushing to assume W had an affair leading to this pregnancy when there is so much (and easily available) evidence that there might be a more logical reason for this? Well this is kind of why I think it is not healthy to try and save marriages at any cost. Let me see if I have this straight: -He has never cheated on his wife. -She accused him of cheating. -Had him removed from his own home -Had him jailed with false accusations -Accused him of having a STD. -He can no longer see his son Add on top of that her behavior. She has already spent all of the guy’s money so now it is probably time to discard him. What more should a person like this put up with. I realize that a lot of people think you should save a marriage at all costs but I don't agree. I personally don't think you should even consider taking back a WS unless they immediately ask for forgiveness and stop seeing the OP. I also realize that a lot of people disagree with my point of view and that is OK. I still can't help but think if a woman was thrown out of her home and in jail with false accusations and not allowed to see her children what kind of advice would people give her? Would they tell her she needs to suck it up and accept this behavior and be nice to him? It just seems that if this happens to a man people don't consider it that bad? This is why men end up without their kids and homes when they allow their spouse to cheat on them and abuse them and then they don’t realize it is a war at this point. ThinkingOfMyKids we are all just amateurs trying to do the best we can. You have a lawyer so take their advice and stay out of trouble. I would think that if she has a child and DNA shows it is not yours well she may have some explaining to do on any custody battle. My point is don’t get steamrolled and if you want to save things with her later maybe it is possible but when a person blocks you from seeing your children and has you thrown in jail do not sit back and take it. If you do you may end up with nothing. Again, just my opinion.

Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). IHadEnough #1949192 10/05/07 08:39 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	Bigger, I'm in self preservation mode. I was arrested cuz SHE called the cops on me. I am homeless and away from my 2 year old boy because she called the cops on me. My life is in a whirlwind right now because she has an STD, I don't care when she got it, but she accused me of cheating on her and that's how she got it. She told me she was tested when she was pregnant with our son and came up clean... so is it possible that this dormant STD STAYED DORMANT throgh THAT pregnancy and not this one? If not, then the point STILL is she's lieing, trying to pin it on me, and cheated SINCE the birth of my son! I have gotten 2 more emails form her, one sent directly to me, and one either accidently sent to me, purposely BCC'd to me, or just sent to me as a ploy that she sent it to someone else. And now she is calling and emailing my exwife and hassling her!! Which is in effect hindering my abilities to re-establish a relationship with my children from that marriage..... Why am I quick to get out?!?!?! I'm NOT!!! THIS type of behavior from her has been going on for THREE YEARS!! I've been doing everything i can think of to try to make this work. Whatever i do just doesn't go though. I have no life, no opinion, no nothing. It's 100% her way or no way. I'm CONSTANTLY being told "Because i said so" and "I don't need a reason". Is that a way a marriage should be??? No... i was willing to accept it and just exist in the marriage so that I could be with my son 24/7 365. please remember, SHE removed ME. Yes I was packing my things with no where to go... but that's just it... i was packing my things...with no where to go. i would have sucked it up, known my wife is lieing to me, calling me a loser, most likely cheating on me cuz she has ZERO respect for me... but I would have my son!!!!! Marsh, thanks for moving this... I MISS MY SON!!!!

What am i supposed make of this? ThinkingOfMyKids #1949193 10/05/07 08:55 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	here is the email that somehow made it to my mailbox...i wonder what she's up to now? First one rec'd today 6:45PM Preface: I got a call from her cell to mine @ 6:07PM... about the time she's been getting home, though she's supposed to clock out @ 5 and we live 10-15 minutes away... I did not answer the phone, but I had a hunch she wanted to yell at me for things I took from the Civil Standy today. Which by the way, she went through EVERY box and approved or denied my taking it. The officer accompanying me followed what she said... Further thought was that she might pissed that I took MY wireless router off the cable modem. She can still connect her laptop to the cable modem but i'm not sure she knows how, so at 6:39PM I called our ISP support and asked them to call her (as i can't) to walk her through how to do that. Apparently my hunch was dead on.... Quote I did not realize you took all the routers from the house leaving me with none. Thanks for the civility. How's your ex-wife? I heard you have called every day for the last 3 or 4 days. Again, predictible. I'm sorry I tried to help you at all. Best of luck to you. You will not hear from me again. Second email rec'd 8:37PM Preface: there is no email address in the "to" field, she's smart enough to know how to use the BCC feild.. Quote J - FYI...don't use my email address removed ONLY edit I made in this quote- account for any emails please. My husband monitors that one...and he locked me out. I am so furious right now. When I got home, I found out Steve smuggled out all the wireless routers today. I did not realize that during the Civil Standby. I was left with no internet connection and a broken ethernet cable. I had to get a new ethernet cable to get back up and running. Piss me off...a waste of my time. I am also more certain than ever that he was cheating on me...although maybe not with his ex. She has always been truthful with me (I think) and we had a good "chat" today. Gaver her an earful she did not want to hear, but was glad I told her all I did. His ex thinks he is a pig anyway...still. She always thought he was a liar and a cheat...so now we both know the truth. So anyway, I found this elaborate set-up in a back room in the basement. Phone, cable/internet connection, CDs...what a friggin pig. That must have been where he downloaded his porn I found...and how he called his girlfriend late at night. Oh yeah not sure if I told you, he actually accused me of "planting" the porn on his computer Monday night when we were fighting. I think given all I have leared and found, it is safe to say he was cheating...but wait he accused me of that! I am so disgusted and I hate him more than ever. I was so mad about the routers and the friggin basement "smut set-up", I called the cops just to get the router thing on record and I find out that it is a violation of his bail and the Protective Order. Whoops! I really hope he goes striaght to jail right about now. No wait, better yet he should run off and hide in Florida again. How could I be married to someone like this? Someone I never really knew at all...and I let him sleep in this house night after night??? I have Right Networks sweeping all my computers and servers now for the key logging software and other monitoring things Steve used in the past. Locks have been changed...and alarm installed today. (thank god for emergency services) And we will be moving. I was the best thing that ever happened to him even though he would never admit it now...I hope he rots in a tiny little jail cell. (sign) I began official paperwork today for the next step. It is time to move on and walk away from this part of my life. I will be up for a few hours reading about the alarm system. IM me if you want. - L I have no clue who "J" is... maybe her sister "Jaclyn" but then again, this could be a ploy that she sent it to "J" but as there is no address int he "to" feild, she could very well have just sent it to me... more to the point, why did I even get this????? I can explain each and every accusation in this eamil too. If anyone knows how VOip works and you have 2 different sets of cordless phones, the base needs to be plugged into a phone jack... there were NO other outlets for the phone except for the one inthe back room of the basement...next to the noisy furnace/AC unit. it was only there to get the 2nd cordless to work...and never used. heck i think the plastic LED protectors are still on it! The email address thing... lies! send an email to it and you get a non-deliverable report.. I deleted her account, per her request over the weekend....

Re: What am i supposed make of this? ThinkingOfMyKids #1949194 10/05/07 09:05 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	oh yeah... "J" can't be her sister... she would never refer to me as "her husband" to her sister. And the broken ethernet cable is crap too. I MADE CERTAIN I broke NOTHING in the house and didn't touch anything she would say was 100% hers... Odd how I call the ISP at 6:39 and 6 minutes later I get an email... there is NO WAY she made it to a store that is close enough to home, went back home, and connected from the time i got the phone call on my cell, till the time she eamiled me. NO WAY. And... I called my exwife to talk to her this time... to verify my wife called her, she said yes, she called her work and left a message, then emailed her. there was no "chat" as refernced in the email I got. My Ex asked to be kept out of this, i apologized to her and asked if it was still OK for me to see the kids... her response "I have to go, i don't want to deal with this, i have my own problems to deal with" and she hung up as I herard her saying some explicits... i'd say mission accomplished on my wife's part! correction, soon to be exwife!

Re: What am i supposed make of this? ThinkingOfMyKids #1949195 10/05/07 09:11 PM
Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 316 B bigger Member
bigger Member B Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 316	I’m not excusing her behavior. Far from it. I am 100% certain that IF you two get together again you better head off for MC ASAP. But put yourself in her shoes: She get’s the news she has a STD. She has been faithful so she assumes YOU gave it to her (just like you automatically assume she has been unfaithful since you are clean). She is pregnant. The STD is a threat to her health and to the health of her unborn child. Add that to 3 years of a troubled marriage. *Add to the hormonal changes in a woman in pregnancy. I wouldn’t be surprised if SHE were posting on an infidelity site: “I’m pregnant and my WH gave me an STD”. Imagine the advice she is getting… Once again: get someone to contact her with your results and some info on dormant Chlamydia. Her OB, your MD, a nurse, your pastor, a joint friend, your lawyer, her lawyer…. Anyone. You claim you want to stay with your son – well work for it. Maybe you two are destined for divorce but at least make her say she wants a divorce for real reasons. If nothing else then if she carries on with her actions after she has been offered the true reason for the STD then you have a better shot at custody. Her actions do not indicate a stable mind. IHadEnough: Has anyone suggested TOMK “suck it up and accept it”? All I am offering is a LOGICAL and very VIABLE reason for why the STD was found, how it came to be and suggestions on how to calm the waters. I strongly encourage you to look up MB heroes here like Dazedandconfused and Hopethisworks. These guys went through [email]H@ll[/email] and back on the advice and guidance of the Harleys to save their marriages. True not every marriage should be saved but what TOMK is relatively easy to set right. Seeing as there really is no infidelity in play.

Re: What am i supposed make of this? bigger #1949196 10/05/07 09:43 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	the "setup" my adoring "wife" refers to... this is a server she gave me. SHE wanted me to set it up in the basement. We connected our big screen tv to it and have a wireless keyboard/mouse in the living room...it never worked though. I really like the part about the fighting we had too... there was no fight, i was packing my stuff calmly remember? She came upstairs and smacked me across the face whiel i was on my knees picking up my socks that were all over the floor. And then told me about the smut she found on the PC. I jumped up and yelled "what?!!?" She jumped back, tripped over the closthes that were all over the room, backed into the half open door which poked the doornob through the wall by the way. So there is her proof that i hit her I guess, after all, how else would that hole get there right??? I went down stairs and asked her where the smut was, she said "Its not on your laptop, it's downstairs ont he server" I went down there... saw it, and immediately deleted it! NOT to get rid of somethign I did... to get rid of that garbage of what i thought was my PC.... The snooping software she talks about... yep, I did do that IN THE PAST...as I said, i've been dealing with this from her for THREE YEARS. I don't beleive I've mentioned this part yet... We got married on a whim in Vegas. I was being set for work, she didn't want me to go. I asked my boss if i could take her with me, he said sure... While there I found out she had bought a $180 victoria Secret bathing suit and sat out by the pool whiel i worked 7am-7pm.... i personally never saw the suit, just the bill! Vegas is Vegas baby.... $55 later I was hitched. MISTAKE!!!!! One week later we were home and it was my turn to have my kids form my previous marriage. I saw the exwife face to face and told her that I was remarried. BUT... before I saw her, my new wife calls me and asks what i'm up to for lunch. I didn't want to worry her so i told her I was having lunch with a Vito ... a co-worker. I had EVERY intention of telling my new wife that I saw my ex and told her about my new marriage, when i got home...so i could tell her face to face...instead of over the phone and to amek sure she didn't worry about anything...in case she would. well to this day, just one week after my vows, my new wife thinks i cheat on her with the ex and i'm a liar..... I've explained this to her a million times, I just didn't want her to worry and had every intention of telling her when I got home. She somehow found out on her own between lunch and 5:30... to this day i still dont' know how she did. BUT.... on the flip side of this. The man she lived with for ten years... she sent him a nice lovely long email about how she had gone on a trip "just to get away from it all" told him about all the fun and daring things she did in Vegas and the Grand Canyon...even sent pictures of herself on the strip and hiking the Canyon.... funny though... not 1 picture she sent him had me in it. not one word of how she went WITH ME.... or that little part abotu her last name changing... then...get this... she signs the email "Love Les" i found this on our new laptop as a married couple on accident... she left her email open. i sent a copy to myslef and read it from time to time when she tries to tell me what a loser I am.... She sent him my favortite picture of her....it's tainted now. i can't look at it without thinking of that email. I just let my ex knwo i was married face to face... she never told her ex and signed a letter "love"?!?!??! So yeah... after that email i would from time to time fine new snooping software and check to see if she was doing what she constantly accused me of. Ad i would call her on things when I needed to. What happened from there you ask.... I was the @sshole for snooping and I need to get out. That went on throughout our 1st year.. then i actually listened and left. 2 months went by. It was the holiday season and as a married man i should be with my wife... So I called and we talked and I went back on "day trips' to try things out...another month or 2 goes by and she tells me she's pregnant. I move back in and 9 months later I deliver my little boy. yep... I delivered him!!! The baby brought us back to where we should have been. or did he? Maybe he was just a distraction from all the problems we have with each other. I didn't much care, i loved him more than anything, still do, and would do anything to keep him safe. I stayed home with him and she went to work. My line of work was contracual and the contract was up for renewal, we agreed it was smarter for her to go back to work for the bennifits as my contract didn't have any. So my son and I bonded even more so as I was the primary care giver. Now though... now I'm just a loser who mooched of her. Now that all my money is 100% gone. She just recently got a 9K bonus and is pretty much gauranteed at least that every 6 months, all on topof her 70K/yr salary (at keast that what she told me she makes) she doesn't "need me" anymore... or my $16/hr minus child support from a previous marriage paycheck. So I guess instead of me leaving again, she wanted to make sure the story goes that she had me tossed out....

Re: What am i supposed make of this? bigger #1949197 10/05/07 10:01 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	Quote I’m not excusing her behavior. Far from it. I am 100% certain that IF you two get together again you better head off for MC ASAP. But put yourself in her shoes: She get’s the news she has a STD. She has been faithful so she assumes YOU gave it to her (just like you automatically assume she has been unfaithful since you are clean). She is pregnant. The STD is a threat to her health and to the health of her unborn child. Add that to 3 years of a troubled marriage. *Add to the hormonal changes in a woman in pregnancy. I wouldn’t be surprised if SHE were posting on an infidelity site: “I’m pregnant and my WH gave me an STD”. Imagine the advice she is getting… Once again: get someone to contact her with your results and some info on dormant Chlamydia. Her OB, your MD, a nurse, your pastor, a joint friend, your lawyer, her lawyer…. Anyone. You claim you want to stay with your son – well work for it. Maybe you two are destined for divorce but at least make her say she wants a divorce for real reasons. If nothing else then if she carries on with her actions after she has been offered the true reason for the STD then you have a better shot at custody. Her actions do not indicate a stable mind. IHadEnough: Has anyone suggested TOMK “suck it up and accept it”? All I am offering is a LOGICAL and very VIABLE reason for why the STD was found, how it came to be and suggestions on how to calm the waters. I strongly encourage you to look up MB heroes here like Dazedandconfused and Hopethisworks. These guys went through [email]H@ll[/email] and back on the advice and guidance of the Harleys to save their marriages. True not every marriage should be saved but what TOMK is relatively easy to set right. Seeing as there really is no infidelity in play. I did put myself in her shoes... all weekend before I decided I needed to leave. I was trying harder to prove to her i din't cheat than accusing her of cheating. I stayed up litterally all night all weekend googleing this disease tryign to find some shred of evidence that there was another way to catch this... there isn't. Bottom line, if Chlamydia can be dormant and shows up during pregnancy, it should have shown up in her 1st...but didn't. Since then I have not left the house. More over, I have not cheated since I met this woman, never mind since our marriage. yes, even when i left the first time for 2 or so months. So that still elaves the question... how did this come into our lives? our marriage? There is only 3 ways to get it, and all 3 should ONLY be done with your partner you are married to!!!! It still remains.... if I dind't cheat, (and my test results came back clean too btw) how does she have it now? AFTER the first baby?

Re: What am i supposed make of this? ThinkingOfMyKids #1949198 10/05/07 10:15 PM
Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 316 B bigger Member
bigger Member B Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 316	From what I have read then the theory is that when pregnant the immune system can lower its guard. Possibly only for a short time (several days or even weeks) but then recovers. So why now but not during her last pregnancy? Well here are some ideas: She was obviously younger then. Perhaps she was healthier. By your own admission the marriage has been hard for 3 years. Could lead to stress that can lower the immune system. Perhaps it simply wasn’t diagnosed back then. At least get the info to her. I strongly recommend you use your MD or her OB. Then he/she can also tell you WHY it didn’t come forth last time. Look – I am not blind to this possibly being infidelity but I am in no hurry welcoming you to our club. I have been through infidelity once before and am not too eager in adding to our membership. Yes it’s also entirely possible that she was unfaithful from the time of last child to now but to me her actions seem like confusion rather than an elaborate ploy to get you out of the marriage.

Re: What am i supposed make of this? ThinkingOfMyKids #1949199 10/05/07 10:16 PM
Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 309 S sickofthis1961 Member
sickofthis1961 Member S Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 309	I spoke with an OB friend of mine. He confirmed that it can be undetected for many years because most don't show any symptoms and unless there is a specific test for it, you probably don't know you have it. he said it was a most common form of STD and lots of people are out there with no idea that they have it due to lack of any indication. Said it was entirely possible that it was there for the previous pregnancy but was undetected. More doctors are checking for it now so maybe this time there was a test but previously there wasn't one. The doctors records would indicate if a previous test was done and the results. I don't have an opinion one way or the other...just wanted you to know.

Re: What am i supposed make of this? ThinkingOfMyKids #1949200 10/05/07 10:21 PM
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 San Diego County B believer Member
believer Member B Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 San Diego County	I would get a paternity test after the baby is born. You can do it by mail, and just need a cheek swab. That way you will know if the child is yours, just in case the marriage doesn't work out. You already have children from one marriage that didn't work out, and married this chick on a whim. I suggest you do some working on yourself to find out why you are picking the women you pick. You sound like a great guy.

Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). IHadEnough #1949201 10/05/07 10:31 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote Marsh, thanks for moving this... Jim moved it for you. I just posted the link for you. You seem to be a 'fly by the seat of the pants kind of guy'. You'll get some good advice from some very smart, settled folks here. Keep posting. And reading. You've come to the right place! ~ Marsh Last edited by Marshmallow; 10/05/07 10:44 PM.

Re: What am i supposed make of this? sickofthis1961 #1949202 10/05/07 10:31 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	thank you both. If only ms high and mighty could open her eyes to this news though. All that has been said to me is that I gave it to her. Period. there is NO WAY she got this from someone else. I cannot however convey this to her just now...in any way. after all, I have an RO on me and if I contact her, off to jail I go till 2 weeks before christmas..woohoo I have said this once, I'll say it again. i could care less about the damn disease. She tossed me and removed my son from my life. I don't care how temporary it is. I can only imagine what the little guy is going through. he freaks out at bedtime if i'm not home to give him a kiss goodnight (if I'm at the store for wifey-poo or something like that) So he must be crying his little slef to sleep at night. Coupled with the FACT I have heard her tell him what a loser I am.... She was the one that made me sit in that disgusting cell and wait for bail. She lied to make that happen. I was searched, treated like a criminal, finger printed, and removed of my dignity. Why? Becuase I wouldn't argue with her? Hormones or not... that's not forgivable. I stayed in the marriage for my son. Now I'm out, by her doing. And I will fight for custody if it takes 3 jobs 120 hours a week for years. I will fight for him!

Re: What am i supposed make of this? believer #1949203 10/05/07 10:34 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	Quote I would get a paternity test after the baby is born. You can do it by mail, and just need a cheek swab. That way you will know if the child is yours, just in case the marriage doesn't work out. You already have children from one marriage that didn't work out, and married this chick on a whim. I suggest you do some working on yourself to find out why you are picking the women you pick. You sound like a great guy. I plan on the test...trust me. Mom always told me i'm a nice guy..... people always say nice guys finish last. I'm not worried any longer about the 2 I picked to marry, I'm not going to pick a 3rd! thanks for the support!

Re: ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out). Marshmallow #1949204 10/05/07 10:35 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	Quote Quote Marsh, thanks for moving this... Jim moved it for you. I just posted the link for you. You seem to be a 'fly by the seat of the pants kind of guy'. You'll get some good advice from some very smart people, settled folks here. Keep posting. And reading. You've come to the right place! ~ Marsh Thanks to both of you then. Being away from my son is KILLING me. this will be the longest weekend of my entire life!

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