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Joined: Apr 2006
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Sorry T,

you did not miss my post, you read it.

How do I know this, you may ask.

It is a habit of mine when I am here to gander at "whos on line"

My two posts were the last, when you were here and you were here two hours before Mojo.

So your probably wondering why I cut and saved that you were here.

...ahh you can answer that.

ThinkingOfMyKids
User Member 10/08/07 08:58 AM Reading a post in flat mode
ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out).

Max

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I have heard that *some* battered women tend to gravitate towards abusive relationships (i.e., if they get out of one abusive relationship, they simply move on to another abusive relationship w/someone else). So, in this case, since TOMK is not abusing her .... is she trying to create drama where there is none because he is not fulfilling that sick "need" that she has for being in an abusive relationship? It sure seems like she was trying her hardest to transform this relationship into a dysfunctional one as soon as the ring was on her finger.

It is perplexing, though, why this would have all come to a head just as she is getting ready to give birth to a second child. You would think she would be doing more "nesting" like things and wanting the father around to protect the brood.

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Sorry T,
you did not miss my post, you read it.
How do I know this, you may ask.
It is a habit of mine when I am here to gander at "whos on line"
My two posts were the last, when you were here and you were here two hours before Mojo.
So your probably wondering why I cut and saved that you were here.
...ahh you can answer that.
ThinkingOfMyKids
User Member 10/08/07 08:58 AM Reading a post in flat mode
ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out).
Max

Max - I find your accusation a bit silly. When he said he "missed" it ... he might've read it at the time, but didn't have time to respond and then got sidetracked with responding to others later and probably forgot about the content of your message. In fact, right after your message, medc comes right out and asks him point blank if he's ever abused his wife...and TOMK did a long response to that. Taking all that into consideration, and also thinking of his current state of mind due to being ripped away from his home and his son, it's EASY to imagine why he "missed" your post. Anyway, he's responded to it now...why be so accusatory? You seem to be looking for a "smoking gun" instead of trying to be helpful.

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TOMK has a stalker.

Actually, after taking a gander at some of MadMax's posts on the board, its more of the same. Move along, people, nothing to see here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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She is pregnant, felt threatened enough to call the police. I do not believe that one would go as far as having your husband arrested if there was no threat.


I can tell you from first hand experience as a cop, that almost 50% of the calls that we went on for DV, the woman made up the story to get her H out of the house (or to cover up her own assault of him). It happens every single day.

I'm sorry about what you went through, but the reality is...women abuse the system and make stories like these all too believable. It might be that TOMK is telling an incomplete story...but in my experience, it is not really that far fetched.

And BTW... I work with abuse victims every day in my current life. I have a real sensitivity for this stuff too. I have questioned TOMK and all we can go on right now is what he has told us. He is the only one here.

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Max...you are really getting annoying.

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btw, if I did not come up anonymous...it would show that I am on here 12 hours a day...I just never log out or shut my computer down...so, Madmax the sleuth...get over yourself.

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I was shock by this story because honestly, I thought TOMK was this same guy that almost killed me 20 years ago. But TOMK is a good 10 years too young to be him …
Wow.

So basically, I came here for guidance trying to decide wether or not this woman I fell in love with and controlls me to no end is really meant for me. I came here seeking help on what it is that I may be doing wrong that allows this behavior to continue (on both our parts).

I don't feel like I've omitted anything. Why would I? That won't help me one bit.

Your post makes me feel like you think I'm playing you all like I'm the not really the victim, I'm the abuser hiding as a victim.

Is she a monster? Yes, sometimes. But that doesnt stop me from loving her and missing her.

I now feel stero-typed just as the police did to me. Simply becuase I'm the man. Can you HONESTLY SAY you would feel the EXACT SAME WAY about me knowing this entire situation was reveresed? If was a woman and my husband had me arrested. Granted the STD discovery would ahve had to been a bit different. As I don't have it, test prove that, and she does.

This lets take a look at that for a minute. EVERYTHING I have said, put in context that I'm a woman, pregnant, and during some routine physical my husband finds out he has an STD. Now me being pregnant I was be scared for the baby's health so i would got see my Dr. and be tested, I come up clean. A weekend goes by and I have time to think about it. I think my hubby has cheated....there's "prrof" as he has an STD and I don't. But for some reason hubby thinks I gave it to him. I am a pissed off woman and I'm leaving the house. i'm distugusted with him and won't even look at him. He can't get me to talk to him so he calls the police saying I smacked him and threaten to kill him, then told him he will never see his son again or this unborn baby. The cops show up, and arrest me... a pregnant woman. Book me, toss me in a cell, then put an RO on me. Now my hubby has my son, and I'm homeless. I stay with some family while I try to get this all worked out.

Is hubby so innocent now?

I think if I were a woman, most if not all of you would be telling me to get that boy out of that house, run away and never look back. If he lied to the police there's no telling what he's do next. Protect myself and this baby. he's a man, he can survive.

Is that how it would go????

I'm sorry for stero typing here, but it appears I've been. Do a degree.

And I guess with that, I could go as far as to say that yes, even though my "hubby" controls me, I still love him and want to try to make my marriage work.

Does this put any new perspective on this?

....I have ot get int he shower as I have a 9:00 appointment with my Lawyer. By the way, my lawyer is female. Should I worry I won't be represented well enough????? Will she prejudge me????

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you are dead right TOMK....

but know that you directed that post to mojodiva and NOT madmax who obviously has issues with men.

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Sorry T,
you did not miss my post, you read it.
How do I know this, you may ask.
It is a habit of mine when I am here to gander at "whos on line"
My two posts were the last, when you were here and you were here two hours before Mojo.
So your probably wondering why I cut and saved that you were here.
...ahh you can answer that.
ThinkingOfMyKids
User Member 10/08/07 08:58 AM Reading a post in flat mode
ThinkingOfMyKids' story (transcribed from Just Found Out).
Max

Max - I find your accusation a bit silly. When he said he "missed" it ... he might've read it at the time, but didn't have time to respond and then got sidetracked with responding to others later and probably forgot about the content of your message. In fact, right after your message, medc comes right out and asks him point blank if he's ever abused his wife...and TOMK did a long response to that. Taking all that into consideration, and also thinking of his current state of mind due to being ripped away from his home and his son, it's EASY to imagine why he "missed" your post. Anyway, he's responded to it now...why be so accusatory? You seem to be looking for a "smoking gun" instead of trying to be helpful.
EXACTLY!! Thank you.
Max... you seem to either be my wife, or her sister. Any reason for assuming and attacking me????
Or is this your thing? To see if you can bring out my anger too? Well, you got it.
As for looking to see who's online. That means nothing excpet for you are looking for someone to pick on maybe?

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Oh... I left this page up and went to bed, does that mean i was reading and rereading ti for the last 12 hours max? I too have searched your posts. thanks ffor proving my thoughts of you to be corect. Have a nice day. I'll be ignoring anything else you have to say to me. Enjoy your life. ...hanging out on a HELP board, stalking people and making accusasions. I regret my LAST post to you, but I will not delete it.

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you are dead right TOMK....

but know that you directed that post to mojodiva and NOT madmax who obviously has issues with men.

It was in response to what was posted.

I really have to get going...
Just gives me that much more "faith int he system"...even here I'm stero typed. I guess we'll see how this goes.

Thanks to all who have had the open minds and provided sound advice, POV, and guidance.

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gee wiz guys you have me pegged

an annoying stalker

well done <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

carry on

Max

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so clever is max...nothing of substance...just a little jab and on her way to harass another man.

carry on Max.

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Not entirely true mk.

I feel no discomfort at all in this thread. Not on my way anywhere

by the way mojo-it was Mk that asked..not medc.

mk-startling data

almost 50%, is that like almost true?


T- you are simply RE-enforcing

and if you think this gives you a little more-you have been charged with a serious offence/s. Wait untill you are in a court room. It gets a little bit more than the faceless interactions over the internet.

Max

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TOMK, you can put max on ignore by clicking on his name. You will then see the option to "put this user on ignore". He is acting like a stalker and his posts aren't helping you at all.

Moving on now...

It's hard to say if your M is salvagable. I'd be afraid of her doing something similar to you in the future. Do you really want to walk on egg shells forever and be under her thumb? I do understand you wanting to be with your son as much as possible though. It sucks being a part time daddy.

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yes, the almost 50% is very true.

Women use the police to their advantage in many cases. I can't even begin to tell you how many times a woman called the police pretending to be the victim...and then we leave with her in cuffs because she is the one that actually struck her partner...he may or may not have defended himself.

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I would agree with FCF about ignoring Madmax...obviously she has an ax to grind....

FCF...madmax is a "woman"

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" The State does not care because you threatend my life and therefore the life of our unborn child. I know in the heat of the moment people say things they don't really mean, and I would like to think that was the case with you. But you were pretty convincing at the time."

Go for it guys-ignore me

but don't ignore that above
There is a story here

and it needs to be heard.

Max

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There is a story here and it needs to be heard.

Well?


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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