Are you able to forward that e-mail she sent you to your attorney?

Certainly MEDC is right that you want an admission from her that the charges were false.

Remember, the best way to predict the future is by looking at events of the past. If she gets away with this now, you will be forever vulnerable to being thrown in jail on her whim. Do you want to live like that?

I can't imagine putting my H into jail by making false charges.

Don't let the court system talk you out of anything--be your own strong advocate with your attorney and make sure you and your child(ren) are protected. Protection meaning stand up to the false accusations from your wife.
Lake

Mojo, thank you. As an IT Professional, I should have thought of that. But then in my defense my thoght process has been messed up lately (along with a lot of other things)

Lake, Already printed and faxd the latest email to my Lawyer. She is having an investigator contact my wife to get more info. She didn't liek how many times/ways she was contacting me...for someone who feels threatened.

NO I do NOT want to live my life in fear of her calling the police on any whim. I'm already preparing for it though. Whatever transpires on Friday, I'm keeping a copy of the paperwork in my car, readily available for police/judge review. Until I feel I can completely trust her again.

I was mad and furious at the charges she brought up against me, but then I thought to myslef... If I was a woman, who's husband has disengaged himself from me. Which makes me mad, and I try to let him know he's making me mad, that causes a fight....and he doesn't fight back, so he's more disengaged... Then I get news I've got an STD, regardless if I've cheated on him or not, he's here now and I'm more mad so I'm going to take it out on him. I tell him (even if I know it's not FROM HIM) that it is. He calmly says he didn't give it to me as if to rub it in my face that he thinks he knows something (he's an idiot after all). My hormones are raging, I'm scared for my unborn child, I'm scared of what might happen to me during an irregular child birth. He's.. oh God, he's leaving on his own?!?!?! And STILL won't talk to me.... I'll get him... 911, hello, my husband just beat the ****** out of me...

She's stressed. Even if I didin't cause it, I should have tried ease it. Isn't that was your spouse in a marriage is supposed to do?

What do I want?
1. A healthy happy son that I watch grwo up every day.
2. A loving faithful wife.
3. Caring and understanding, and respect, from my wife
4. Time. Time to share with my wife, and my children. ALL of them.
5. Trust, mutual trust in my marriage.

Is any of this too much to ask? Am I blinded by love or am I seeing the woman I fell in love with 4 years ago and asked her to marry me? Maybe I knwo she's still there, and maybe I know I'm partially responsible for her behavior towards me.

I just now noticed that she transfered the rest of the remaining money out of every joint account we have. They were all down to $5 and change. She transfered all but $0.50 out of them, dated yesterday. WTF? why bother taking $4.50 from an account when she just got a $9K bonus less than 2 weeks ago?

Anyone read that email she sent as a sign she's going to ask the Ro be dropped? Or am I just reading into it what I want to see?

your thinking is way off here TOMK....

yes, you are blinded by obsession...love doesn't do that.

I am not saying there is NO chance...but if you continue on your present course..there is NO chance. You want a happy, healthy marriage...
well, right now, your wife is a mentally unstable woman...and it is up to you to help your marriage by NOT backing down on the mental health issue as well as her admitting she trumped up those charges.
You are making lame excuses for what she did...there is NO EXCUSE in the world for what she did...and as long as you fabricate reasons and continue playing hide and seek from your nuts, you will never gain her respect.

your wife is the enemy until she PROVES by her ACTIONS that she is not.

I guess I do need to grow a pair huh.....
The lawyer is suppose dot call with a status update from the investigsator tomrrow. We'll see what that does, then see how court goes.

If I get back into my house, all is not forgiven. I'll protect myself and start doing whatever I have to so that she see's me as an equal and not the dirt under her shoes.

What if the judge upholds the RO? I can't see my son till just before Xmas... I'll never make it that long!

be strong...think positive...
you need a better planb than what you are saying.
your wife needs to attend counseling.
she is really pretty unstable. from the outside looking in, I think she has severe mental problems. You should not be trying to survive this mess without a real game plan developed by a pro after meeting the two of you.
YOU need to stop taking this on yourself...drop the victim mentality and get pissed off...because you should be pissed right about now.

I was pissed. I was BEYOND pissed. I've trainned myself to let it go, otherwise my marriage woudl have been over long ago.

Actually, I'm more pissed at myself for trying to convince her I dind't cheat than I am of (according to HER DR) the non-existance of a dormant STD, which means ...she has it, I don't, she's the cheater.

By her own admission, in not so many words, she cheated. granted she has no idea I have been tested and came up clean... looking forward to the look on her face friday in court when she finds that out. It's some of the paperwork I'm bringing to back up my story.

I have all the proof I need that she cheated. Period. I know I dind't cheat, unless I had some out of body experience... I DID NOT CHEAT. And having read up on gaslighing... yeah, she's been doing that to me for years. But she told me her Dr says there's "No way this has been dormant, she got it recently" So... that means she LIED and CHEATED.

Which makes me wonder how many other lies I've been gullible to. And I'll be the firs to admit, I'm not the sharpest pencil onthe desk...

Shades of Cinnamon Sugar!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

a bit..yep. but, we can only go by the info we have.

Man, now I have to do a search of the forums...
((searched for cinnamon sugar and the function isnt working or Im doing it wrong-- anyone have a link?)

TOMK. Ok, time to just calm down. As an IT professional, you should have no trouble finding work that can support you and your child should it come to that. If you have a job that pays well right now (I've asked a couple times but received no answer) PLEASE concentrate on it. Its your lifeline. Just like getting back home is important to having a basecamp.

Have you done the research on fathers rights yet? Consider contacting an advocacy group.

I like MEDC's idea of taking a polygraph to prove you are telling the truth. Shoot, you could even have the wife supply her own questions if she wishes.

mojo,

Sorry I thought I posted earlier that I make $16/hr. After my exwife's child support I take home $650 every 2 weeks. No, I cannot at my current job support me and my son. After the "dot bomb" in 2001 most IT professionals (myself included) found themselve among other IT pros w/out jobs. we quickly went from highly paid highly respected intergral parts of most furtone 500 companies to becoming a dime a dozen. It's hard to find that job that pays the 6 figures I was used to.

I might be able to get lucky and find one down in Boston, but that means either traveling and dealing with 2-3 hours of commuter traffic, or moving into the city. I grew up on 96 acres of land, city life is just not for me. I've tried it. I can't do it.

I'm actaully making the most I've made in my profession (sadly) since the dot bomb. In my neck of the woods, the IT jobs pay 12-14/hr. Sadly, basically the same rate if I were to go work at a local Dunkin Donuts and poured coffee. Yes, I've applied.

While I was still at home I actaully tried to get a second job cuz my wife told me I dind't pull my weight... Then when I told her I was looking, she said I didn't need to work 2 jobs, she has the $$ covered. As long as my current job took care of my child support obligation and the rest could cover my son's daycare, that's all she was worried about. She would handle the rest. So.. as i type this, I guess wether she intended it or not, she's made me dependant on her.

I have offered on many occasions, not just this recent incident to take a polygraph. Every time I offer it up...it's one of thos e things where she changes the subject or it gets dropped altogether.

I don't believe she would ever take one though. "She's never lied, why should she start now" .. "It's beneath her"....

Father's rights group. Slowly reaserching, I should probably light a bigger fire under my bbutt for that... in all honesty.

? Inside joke? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

TOMK...

CinnamonSugar was a troll poster that terrorized a BS poster here named Sbmmal with cries of "ABUSER, ABUSER" (Which, btw, I personally KNOW those allegations were FALSE)...MadMax is giving some of us flashbacks to that...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> CinnamonSugar was eventually banned...

Mrs. W

"Cinnamon Sugar" was a poster who harangued one of our members (serving in Iraq at the time) as being an abuser because he posted that his WW called him "controlling" or "abusive" (I believe, due to his taking control of the finances). He was soul-searching...trying to figure out if he had exhibited abusive behavior, although he had never hit his wife. Cinnamon Sugar was just a nasty piece of work.

She's long gone, and I hope she stays that way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

JINX BUY ME A COKE LADY CLUELESS!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

well it's that time of night again for me... i'll buy you both cokes...

I HATE night time now. I just don't feel right rolling over in bed to lay my hand in the small of her back till I fall asleep...and she's not there... sigh.

I see a trend here that spans back several years. There are a handful of women who come here like sharks when they smell wounded MALE BS blood in the water. *********edit************I wonder if some of them are not even the same person or from the same place. But they come here - out of the blue - to take nips at betrayed MEN by accusing them of being "abusive" or "controlling." They really seem to get a kick out of it.

We have a couple of these guys who actually left the boards because of these vicious sharks. There is alot of blood in the water on this board, so naturally it is going to attract predators.

Whoa Nellie... She cleaned out your joint accounts? You need to document how much was there, how much she took, dates, etc. If it comes down to it, sometimes the Judge will make them pay back 1/2 of what they took if you end up divorcing.

In fact, if you were a SAHD, she could end up paying you some kind of alimony (if your state has it) and child support if you get physical custody.

BTW, these are not the actions of a remorseful WS. She's looking out for #1. I think she's backing down on the criminal stuff because she knows it's bogus.