Now she's throwing up different status messages...
the latest. "i do miss you"

I have to wonder though, if there is an OM and they talk...wouldn't he be in her buddy list? Wouldn't he see these messages and wonder what's going on?

Maybe I shoudl pay better attention to them to see if they are "generic"! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

TOMK...

Do you know ANYONE that would be willing to "spy" on your wife? A neighbor...somebody from work...anyone??? That "I'm moving on" statement from her is more telling than anything...I know you don't like to hear that, but I believe with all of my heart that it IS the reality-There is an OM here...She is absolutely NOT responding like a BS would...She has taken the extreme offensive which is the signature trademark of a WS...

Mrs. W

FYI, this is part of what Mr. W and I are referring to:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...&PHPSESSID=

We don't know ouor neighbors... though I tried when we first moved in. We never really got to know anyone and she always made fun of them without there knowledge.

Co-workers... I work for a small "Mom & Pops" business...minus the pops. Including me, there are 3 employees and the owner. All women, none of which I would feel comfortable asking.

If there is an OM then it has to be someone she works with. Which is REALLY MESSED UP seeing how she runs the frikkin company. She's HR, business manager, and Payroll all in one. There are 2 owners, both really old, and one of them just married one of his employees... another whole sorted story there.....

But now that I think about it...she was alwasay "complaining" about this one guy.... always referenign to him as a "trust baby" This guy (kid from what she tells me) has a Hummer and a Toyota Land Rover, comes and goes as he pleases...blah blah blah... CONSTANTLY "Complaining" about this guy and his attitude. He started about .... maybe 6 months ago?

Obviously from money (as she thought I was with my pending motorcycle crash settlement). And... if I recall correctly, not a day went by without her b*tching about somethign he did or din't do....

What ther her way of talking about the OM right in front of me????????????????????????????????????????????????

She IM'd me this morning tell me he had school pictures today.... she just sent me 2 of them via IM. I'm glad to ahev them but at the same time it's frikkin KILLING ME!!!!

Is she trying to be nice in giving these to me? Or just showing me what I don't have anymore???

I wish my Lawyer would get back to me!.....

LIES!!!!! more LIES!@!!!!

She told me these pics were taken AT SCHOOL. Does she think I'm that stupid???? I know that background...it's our living room! WTF?!?!?!!?

Someone save me from this insanity!!!

And more lies.... the program I'm using to look at these photos tells when the picture was taken and the camera used...

these pics were taken last night at 7:13PM.

What are the chances her camera's date and time are off?

.....So she went and bought herself a new camera, cuz I have the one we always used with me. Unless the boyfreind was over taking shots... GGGGRRRRRR!

Apparently her work bought 4 new cameras...so she bought the same...from work...

Amazing how now that I'm not around she has money to toss around.

I NEED TO GET HOME!!!!

but.... damn her... she says depending on what we talk about when we talk... and how that goes. I can go home.

I'm thinking if she does have an OM... it was either a one night stand PHYSICALLY and a long term emotionally... and she could even possibly be regrettign it now?

Or... am I still being a fool!?

I will not be leveing this site when I get back home.... I am going to need all kinds of help to stay sane once back.

If I find out there was indeed an OM... I will need LOTS of reasons to stay. Especailly sftar having me arrested for no other reason then to regain her impending lost control over me.

Thinking,

Stop talking to her.

You need to leave your IM off. You really do.

What you're doing isn't helping. And it is only going to come back to bite you.

Talking to her isn't going to get you any closer to what you want. It will only get you farther away from it.

Now, you need to find someone you can trust...someone you can open up to. Why can't it be one of the women you work w/? You might be surprised at how helpful they could prove to be.

Otherwise, how about attending a church this Sunday, and talking to a pastor/priest about what you're going through?

Find someone who can help you figure out what is going on. It would be no big deal for someone to do a drive by your house, and let you know what cars are parked in the driveway.

Can you get a part time job to earn some money for a REAL attorney?

Please shut off your IM, you really need to pull back from her. Find/make a friend...who can help you out.

~ Marsh

I know... my own fault too. IM isn't going off, I will et her feed me anything she feels liek so I can have printouts of it. But I will not change my status anymore to communicate to her. I understand that if a judge were to hever see this, it would be considered a violation of my RO and I certainly do not want to go to jail.

The women here know of my situation. One is too busy tryign to run her company and 3 other ventures...although she did bail me out of jail the night I was arrested. But I can't use her anyway, the cops and my wife know her car now.

The other is having marrital problems of her own, and the last is ...well... a grandma and i can't see her on a stake out.

I haven't been to church in 20 years. But.... she has brought it up before since the birht of our son. So when/if I get home, I was going to mention it... I honestly don't see how telling a preaching my saga will help me though.

As for getting another job for a real attorney, I think by the time I actually get on that won't interfere with this job... my court date will be here. But yes... I've been actively looking.

TOMK, BEFORE you hit your "send" key again, scroll down and read about Calibabeus'WH. He's been sending emails to her which confused her since they did not match his actions. He used them in couurt against her saying he was working on the M and for custody kudos. read and watch yourself. Duct tape your fingers!!!!!

Thinking,

You have isolated yourself from almost everyone except your W. It isn't healthy to live like this. You need friends when things are going smoothly, but you need them even more when things aren't.

I suggested a church b/c it is a place where it is possible for you to make friends w/ decent people.

People who might be able to help you.

Perhaps there's a support group in your area for divorced men....I'm sure you could find someone there who would be willing to help you out.

Get looking.

Seek and you will find.

~ Marsh

And keep that IM off!

Let her e-mail you. It'll be less tempting for you. And will give her less of an idea what you're up to. Go dark on her. She sounds like the type that will go nutz not knowing what you are doing.

You don't see how getting spiritual guidance from a preacher (pastor/rabbi/priest) could help you?

HELLOOOO!

Don't 'just mention' going to church/temple/synogague (if you have any type of faith at all)- stop being PASSIVE and move your butt off that computer chair and go. START doing ACTIVE things that will make you a better husband, and stop wallowing in your own guilt and do something about it.

Do not wait to make changes on yourself based on if/when you get home. DO THEM NOW.

Oh, Wow, Marsh I hope you don't take offence, but this would be a serious mistake IMHO. Talking to someone of the opposite sex about your marital problems is exactly how thousands of A's started in the first place.

Dr. H himself, admonishes against doing this very same thing. It is usually a huge red flag in determining the cause of an A in the first place.

I would highly recommend aginst speaking to a person of the opposite sex about your M troubles.

Just a thought,

All Blessings,
Jery

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Tsk tsk you are a bad boy....shame on you for being so clever....but really....I think the plan bing of her via the r.o. is a good thing and you should stick with it I mean look at all the time she has tried to talk to you. Are you keeping a log? Are there any MB memebrs who are close that might be able to lend a hand? As far a surveilence? But don't knock those grandma's they are pretty fiesty in there old age. As far as the picture thing....look out man...she is baiting you for something.....she is a manipulitive, lying, evil, vindictive woman to me at this point and from all the things she has and is still doing I can tell you she is up to something. She is trying to punish you for being stronger and pulling away....she wants to see you hurt and alone with nothing. She wants to get you back for something....maybe because in her diluted world she really believes you cheated. Or she has memory loss (AKA denial) and doesn't want to own up to cheating. And by attacking you it vindicates her....you made her cheat....ok I am going all profiler here...I feel like I am in an episode of Law and order criminal intent or something. But distance yourself from contact with her if anyhting it will help you heal. And protect yourself and your parental rights...get that family lawyer.

You're absolutely correct, but Thinking said he only worked w/ three women...no men..I'm just trying to help him find someone who could help him by driving by his home to see what was going on.

I assumed he didn't feel comfortable asking these women to help him, b/c he was too embarrassed to tell any of them what was going on. That's why I used the words "open up to"..

But, you are right to make the point you did.

~ Marsh

BTW have you ever watched "diary of a mad black woman"
I watched it the other day and it is about a woman who was betrayed by her husband and thrown from her home and cut off entirely from her life and how she works through her issues with it all. I suggest you sit down and watch it....it brought to me a sense of understanding of my issues just seeing it outside of my situation (thinking out of the box) and let me ponder it better when I was going through my divorce. It helped me cope a little better. If anything it would kill some time AWAY from the computer. Give it a shot.

Ok so I'v edecided to go with my gut and first instinct. I blocked her from my IM, so she thinks I logged out... not 30 seconds later she signed off. She's only luring me to log into IM to see if I'm where she thinks I'm staying...if I'm online I'm not with anyone else, not doing anything else.... typical of her.

I'm done with IM until I can TALK to her.

...I've been baited yet again.

OK So she's blcked thru IM but I can see when she's on...
Her status message this morning is "Make the car payment". Can you believe this?!?!?!?!?

The car payment is about $80 less than my paycheck, and she wants me to make the payment... I have nothing, but according to her, that includes no bills and no rent, so I can afford it take over the car payments...remember from her email to me. So again, this is her way of keeping control over me. She knows if I make the car payments, I have no money left over. I'll have enough for gas until the next paycheck, maybe. But them living on one paycheck... what will that get me?????

Unreal... she just got that damn bonus too so she can afford to make the payments herself. The way I see it, she is the one who should be making them anyway... the car she's driving, which is basically the same car I have, I PAID FOR IN CASH.

The only thing I have going for me rigth now is the fact the her name is on that loan too, so she might just actually pay it to keep her credit in good standing.

She's sitting there with her berand new Garmin navigation device, cuz I took the TomTom SHE bought me for Xmas, bought a new camera cuz I took the one she bougth me for Xmas.... And sitting on all that money, and tells me to make the car payment.

At least she was nice enough to tell me yesterday she was paying the insurance on it...oh wait, that's right, she told me she HAD to seeing how it was on "her policy". WTF?!?!?!

She's blocked thru IM so she won't see me online anymore, I bet I get a nice long email on her rational as to why I need to pay for the car.....

Typical.