NO, she hasn't gone back the the gym. She has a bag for the gym that she takes with her when she goes...it's been sitting int he same spot under a table in the dining room for 6 months. I've asked her to put it away if she's not going to use it... Funny how not until after the cops come to my house does she finally unpack everything and put things where they belong.

I REALLY want to believe there is no OM. EVERY stakeout has come up negative too. Mike, my co-worker, promised me that last night he would even follow her seeing how she told me she was dropping off the baby at my sister in law's for the night and supposedly having a meeting today. My first thought, why a meeting on a saturday...never occured until MEDC (I think) said she's got plans and looking for a sitter... If she dind't "go to work" from 4am to 6pm with us only living 6 miles from the office, i wouldn;t think there could be an OM. But...why the need to work so much???

What really gets me... SHE can account for all MY time away from home, which isn't very much to begin with. The ONLY thing I have to account for her being gone is her word. I think when I am able to talk to her again, I'll make some random calls to her... and NOT on her cell.

I would love nothing more than to find out either the Dr screwed up patients, or this was a false positive. Anyone else have prrof of this 35%? can you point me to it? online or not... I'll get whatever I need to make sure she has NO OUTS that she got it from me.

I wish there was a way for me to get that letter to her now. Maybe there is... I called the courthouse to see if I could give her the info on the dormant STD and they said I could.... with a civil standby. Wonder if now that I have a lawyer, he can get it to her. Or.... is that something i should still hold onto as it tells her once and for all I was tested and came up negative.

I hope my boy is doing OK.... I miss him so damn much! This isn't right! It's been over 4 weeks since I saw him and I was the primary care giver!!!

I am so glad you posted here and didn't go last night!! You've come so far and you are so close to getting this RO lifted. Thank God you didn't jeapordize that!

I am a mom, so I can imagine you are really really missing your boy right now. I keep praying you'll get to see him soon. Just try to keep your resolve to have all of this cleared up.

Can you get your lawyer to get something to her reiterating the terms of the RO and tell her as much as you'd like to be able to talk to her, legally you can't?? Does she not realize what she did?

OK so with what happened yesterday I thought for sure this was going to be a long weekend. I reacted yet again.... I'll learn eventually.

With keeping a positive mindset and an active role in my kids' lives, I've asked their mother if I can take them on a day hike up one of the local Mountains. It's very family friendly and they shouldn't have a problem with it. She knows the mountian (Mount Monadnock - Jaffrey NH) and said it was OK with her if the kids really wanted to go.

I asked them... I swear it was like they just woke up on Christmas morning... didn't excpect that sort of response. But very cool! My daughter is a real "tree hugger" so I knew she would appreciate it...just didn't think the excitement level would be that high. I'm glad though. My son wants to be the one to carry the backpack, I told him I would carry the heavy stuff, but if he wanted he could carry a pack with his water, a pair of binoculars, and a small blanket for when we stop. He's so excited... (proud father moment).

I just got off the phone with my daughter, she called to ask is Mt. Monadnock is "the big one, or the small one next to it" Told her it was the big one and then gave her a list of things she and her brother need to have ready... extra layer of clothes, extra socks... typical cool weather hiking stuff. She wrote it all down and I can hear my son inthe back ground going nuts grabbing the stuff already. We don't go until tomorrow... that TS coming up the coast ruined today's planned hike. Tomorrow looks good though.

Hopefully one day when all my kids are old enough, my wife and I can take them all back to the Grand Canyon for some real hiking and camping. (one thing that my wife and I do share an interest in, and her and I have hiked it before... on our Honeymoon actually!)

Today is a good, positive, forward moving day.

I know I've said it before, and I will say it again... thanks to all who've helped guide me back to where I need to be. And thanks to all who will help inthe future... I know I'll need it.

My lawyer is doing just that... Although he also commends MEDC for his efforts, he advised that he be the one to make the contact and explain my side of this mess. No... I do not believe she fully understands the consequnces of what she did. Her email to me says she's not happy with having to go the the Child impact seminar either (though SHE needs it more than I ever would..)

Hiking with the kids is an AWSOME idea! I have been wanting to go hiking for a while now but there aren't any mountains in FL. DH and I are originally from MA and we would go hiking and camping in NH. My sister lives in derry. Have fun tomorrow!

BTW as a joke we called our families and asked them if they were ok and if the storm hit them. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> Living in FL we get calls all the time when a storm is bearing down on the state, even if it's on the other side! It would be like it's hitting the cape and we live in western MA.

Growing up, spent my summers on the Cape. Move to FL in 2003 for almost 2 years... remember the Tornado in 04 that went through Palm Beach Gardens? I was in my jeep when it showed up... tried to out run it. dind't make it. I was OK though, just a few dents in the Jeep...

Highest point in FL I believe is 86 ft above sealevel (Easy Coast anyway...) now where that is?

Living in FL there are no real hiking places... so I got Scuba certified and spent my weekends off west Palm or the Bahamas...only 1 hour boat ride from Plam Beach... fun.

But I'll take spending time with my kids over all that nowadays.

I won't say where I live but you have no idea how 'close' Derry is to me... I bet I've seen your sister when we go food shopping....

WOW! I have lived here from 1/99 (moved 8/05-8/06 for a job) then back here until now. I have never been in a bad storm. There have been some where we have gotten high winds and trees down but we were safe and sound in the house. We live on the west coast near Tampa. We used to go to GBI all the time until it got hit bad a few years ago. in 3/05 we went to Bimini and we all loved it. I would love to go back again some day. My sister is not too pleased with NH's laws. One thing that floored me was not only is Kindergarten not required but she has to pay to have her daughter attend a private school! Here K is fulltime and the state has a VPK (voluntary pre-K) that is FREE. Well, not free I am paying for it in my taxes! Are the leaves changed already? I loved the leaves changing but got a little blue when everything was bare and grey.

leaves have changed and coming down in this 'storm'
i miss the afternoon thunder boomers in FL...15 minutes later the roads are dry again...

I have lots of freinds in FL who are teachers..well had friends in FL...

wife and i often talk about moving back with the baby...now with another coming though...who knows. But then... getting away from each tohers family wouldn't be so terrible either...

I hope to see some foliage tomorrow on top of Mt. M...but doubt it. the hike is the fun part for me. The kids have never gone on a hike this long, but I think they'll be fine.

I REALLY miss my couch and my bed.... (and my wife's cooking)

I LOVE the summer afternoon storms too! It hasn't been the same the past couple of years but before that you could almost set your watch by them. Just before 3pm the sky would get dark and BOOM! Loud thunder and buckets of rain, then as quick as it comes it's gone and the sun is out. Today is beautiful, breezy, sunny and 75. We have had the windows open and ac off for the past 2 weeks and it won't go back on until late May. I love this time of year here.

What is/are your favorite meals your wife makes? Does she have a specialty? Is she a meal cook or a dessert cook? I am more of a meal cook. DH loves it when I cook a chinese/thai spread. I make crab rangoon, spring rolls and curry puffs for apts. Then I will make nam sod (ground pork, onions, peppers, garlic, gingerroot, lemon juice topped with peanuts.) I also make beef with broccoli and sesame chicken with a sweet sauce for the kids. The favorites for everyone (hard to do with 6 people) are mamo's chicken (my mom's take on chicken suey) and italian feast (homemade meatballs,sauce,chicken parm, lasanga) Now I am getting hungry!

No matter how much we fight... whatever it is she makes...she always adds that one special ingredient that makes it all tastes that much better. I don't know what it's called...(it's not real) but I always used to tell her it was the love she put in it.

whatever she cooks...it's great. She's a master griller too. (Something I need to become).

It's called love (shhhhh) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I use it in my cooking also. My mom uses it and to this day I look forward to having her cooking when we visit. I have NEVER had a turkey as good as my mom's! And her stuffing is out of this world. She and Dad are coming for 3 weeks in January. I am already planning what meals I want her to cook for me....I mean us!

So earlier today I talked with my lawyer about what MEDC offered. Great lawyer by the way. Definately worth the $$ I paid / am paying.

He asked for a copy of the letter that I wrote that I want to send her after the bail conditions allow me to talk to her. I faxed it over, he called me back. He said with all the email, IMs, and phone calls she sent to me, and this email that I want to give to her, he cannot understand why I was arrested or why I even left in the first place.

As I have read here and have been told as well... he said never ever leave the house in an argument. NEVER leave, it's harder to get back in then it is to have someone removed. This is a criminal matter he's dealing with, but it's clear that I/we need marital counseling.

He told me he was going to call my wife, with my permission, and basically tell her the same thing MEDC wanted to. Though something tells me he was a bit more compasionate than MEDC would have ben (no offense MEDC). After speaking with her, he called me back and said he wanted her to have the letter I wrote to her. He drove to the house, on a Saturday, and hand deleivered it.

About an hour later I get this....
As usual, names removed, no other edits. (Should I be sharing this sort of stuff or am i getting too personal?)
I am glad she tells me this stuff and sends me pictures, but at the same time it's tearing me apart. Is she sincere? Or is she being intentionally cruel knowing I can't see him? ...maybe she just hates herslef and is sending me pictures because it's as close as I can get right now...

So I guess I'm having a girl! Didn't want to find out THIS way... but I'm happy to be having another daughter. Now... I need to figure out if I can be happy about all that or if I'm going to be wondering if that's MY little girl or not...

I think she is sincere and that you will be home soon.

I think she's sincere too. She's obviously relayed the same sentiments to your attorney or he wouldn't have felt comfortable doing what he did. If she did anything crazy now she would definitely look like a psycho to your attorney and everyone else. I don't think that's the case. Like I said early on in this thread, I believe this has all been a big misunderstanding and that you guys need to get counseling to build a better and stronger marriage.

unblocked IM... not talking, can't, she IMs me right away...
"I know you can't respond and I don't wan tto bother you, but I have to tell you... your son knows NASCAR is on today, he's watching it now. And asking me if you are watching from work. He's so your boy."

I took her to a few races while she was pregnant with him, he used to kick like mad when the cars went by our seats. We thought he was scared, turns out he loves NASCAR like me...

I wanna go home!!!

TOMK,

My "feel" is that the email is real. I don't see any fogginess nor did she pass this by an attorney before sending it.

I think you'll be home soon too. Until then, keep reading and working on yourself. With a new baby on the way it will be quite a few years before you get this much peace again. Eat healthy, exercise and sleep.

Still a bit suspicious and encourage you to follow through with the genetic testing one day on the baby. Better safe than sorry.

Godspeed,

Mr. Wondering

Certain things still dont add up.... but to get an email like that is like.... well it really does take me back to 2004...when life was great, we only had each other, not that my son is a burden. He was indeed planed and very much welcomed into my world. Just that we... we laughed more then. We're old enough to have a family, but maybe we weren't ready for it. pft.... who is? I'd never change it for anything.

She IM'd me again tonight. Apologizing again. Telling me she can't wait to have me back home where I belong. How much she misses me.... her spending the night in an empty house must have gotten to her too. That and the child impact session she had today. She said it was horrible, listening to others stories...and then it was her turn. She stood and cried, couldn't get it out. I wanted to reply but I didn't...I can't.

what gets me is all the arguments of why she couldn't take him to daycare when she works right next door.... yet the last 5 weeks she's had no problem doing it. no problem working 8 hour days instead of 12-14. If she can do it now, why couldn't she do it then?

what about the storage unit? what's really in there? And the safe deposit box at the bank that has the supposed video of her first born? And why the secrecy of that damn safe in our house?

I still have questions too... I explained my actions. I got an apology and an understanding. But what about the rest? What if.... what if this baby IS from something she deeply regrets and hopes I never find out about... just a one night thing. What if she's worried it could be someone else's but is hoping to God that with whoever it was that miracle didn't happen...and the few and far between times we did..... What happened to all the money?

I still have questions. When do I get my explanations? My undertanding? I know (from preaching to Luis) that this cannot be fixed with one email she read form me delivered by my lawyer. But she didn't even attempt to explain. Just that she (finally) understands she was at fault too.

well i guess with her... that's a great begining. now if I can jsut keep her to her word..

i have to get to bed, big day tomorrow... hiking a mountain with an 8 year old and a 10 year old on a cool day. I'm no spring chicken anymore either. Going to be fun though!! Too bad this site doesn't allow pictures to be posted. I'd share some when I get back tomorrow late afternoon...

MEDC... one more time - not the last I'm sure, thank you for your offer. I ended up not needing it, but it was yet another push in the right direction for me. had that offer not been made, I wouldn't have called my lawyer, she wouldn't know what she does now, nor would I have gotten that apology. I bet you were an outstanding Police Officer. (I wore a shield for a time as well...)

I think it sounds sincere, however, many WS's sound like this. So you should go hoping for the best but expecting the worst (an OM). Too many BS's end up getting broadsided when they completely believe what their spouse tells them, you know?

Keep working on yourself, stay with the RO requirements and just count the days. You'll be home soon.

I'm very happy with your lawyer. He's awesome.

TOMK, your wife might indeed be sincere in wanting reconciliation...

BUT...I'm still thinking there most likely have been an OM in the picture, considering the way she was treating you and with the extra hours she was spending in regard to work.

So...it could be that HE was not serious about her. Maybe she thought she would get rid of you and maybe he would leave his wife...only he didn't. Maybe he got cold feet and broke things off with her. That would account for no strange car being at her house.

So, it's possible that she is thinking, "What will I do now? I've got DS to take care of all by myself and he's wanting his daddy, and I have to work, and I'm gonna have to go through this pregnancy all by myself. I know! I'll get TOMK to come back home!"

Now, that is all just supposition on my part, but it seems like a possibility to me. You really do need to get down to the bottom of her behavior.

You will need to deal with this with her, either by yourselves, or through MC. There should be no secrets between a M'd couple. Keeping secrets kills intimacy and cheapens the value of the lifetime commitment you've made to each other.